Today, I was walking in Walmart with my dad. We walked past the deodorant aisle. My dad said, "Need any deodorant?" I said, "No thanks." He replied, "That was a hint." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad and I were at the grocery store buying toilet paper. As we walk out I see these two attractive guys that I know. My dad gets that I think they're cute, so he shouts "Hey babe, how's your stomach feeling now? Will this be enough for you?" They walk away laughing. FML
Today, while grocery shopping, my Dad asked me what I wanted for 'Din-Dins' while scratching his nuts. In a crowded aisle. Wearing short shorts. FML
Today, while shopping, my dad asked me to walk further away from him, saying I was cramping his style in front of all the chicks there. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my dad. He let out a very silent but foul abomination of a fart. The people behind us started gagging, so he turned, pointed at me and said, "That was my daughter." FML
Today, as my dad and I were leaving a store, a man asked us if we could donate to an Alzheimer's fund. My dad hates being asked for money, so he immediately hunched over and acted like a dirty, senile old man all the way to the car. FML
Today, I was shopping for socks and I went to look in the men's section. Dad said, "You don't want those, they're for men." I asked what the difference was. He looked around, and then leaned in and whispered, "Men have a penis." FML
Today, I was in Walmart with my mom. I was looking for some CDs I wanted and saw a cute guy. Then he nodded at me and as he started to walk towards me, I hear my name being called over the intercom. Apparently, according to my mom, it was time to go. FML
Today, my dad got me to dance with him. After about a minute of waltzing to a song on the radio, he stepped away and said, "You smell bad. You need to take a shower." FML
Today, my dad seemed moody, so to lift his spirits, I told him I loved him. He just snorted, "You gay or something, boy?" Really mature, dad, really mature. FML
Today, my dad got mad at me because after he told me that when I'm not going anywhere to stop putting on perfume, I told him I wasn't wearing any. I took a shower this morning, my hair is still wet. When I tried to explain this, he got pissed and said that I just needed to accept when he told me I was wrong and shit. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
Maybe that explains why you are hanging out in Walmart with your dad, and not with a boyfriend/girlfriend.
hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14
Better him than your boyfriend.
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Comments (46)
Samirakate 8
If you smell so bad your dad has to tell you to get deodorant it's really your fault.
UMOISTBRO 0
You stanky!
doglover100 29
He was trying to be subtle.
thisismeFMLing 0
ydi for smelling like sour ass
rcgirl2 11
Its time to start practicing better hygiene.
photoquilty 6
I can smell you from here. ;)
jjmeow 10
Common sense is like deodorant-- those who need it most never use it. You could use a little of both, OP.
citymayer 7
Nothing is worse than being the friend who smells bad.
purpledrizzle 5
OP, it probably doesn't make you very happy to be told that you smell, but at least your father had the decency to attempt to be subtle about it.
I_Am_Hated 2
whahahahahahahahahahahahah... ever heard of something called a shower?