Today, I was shopping for socks and I went to look in the men's section. Dad said, "You don't want those, they're for men." I asked what the difference was. He looked around, and then leaned in and whispered, "Men have a penis." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while grocery shopping, my Dad asked me what I wanted for 'Din-Dins' while scratching his nuts. In a crowded aisle. Wearing short shorts. FML
Today, I was at the store buying some feminine products. At the cash register, the clerk said to me "Dude, you know those are for girls right?" I am a 30 year old woman. FML
Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML
Today, I went shopping with my boyfriend. He tried on a pair of trousers which didn't fit, so he asked me to change them, so off I went. I returned with another pair for him to try on, found him bent over and blurted out, "What's with the terrible underwear?" I'd entered the wrong changing room. FML
Today, while out shopping, I could hear what sounded like two grown men talking about me, and they were being pretty gross. I turned around to scold them and it turned out being a dad and his 13-year-old son. He said he was, "teaching a son to be a man", and that my ass was "grounds for discussion." FML
Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML
Today, while shopping with my father, I had to use the restroom. As soon as I opened the door to the men's room, my father yelled that it was the ladies' room. I then turned around and went through the other door, where I ended up getting bitch-slapped. FML
Today, while waiting in line to get my medication, a man who just got his prescription looked me up and down and said "Penis pills, right? Ya look like the type." Then he walked out as a couple of other guys in line started snickering. FML
Today, at work, a man walked up the escalator with his chubby kid next to him and asked me where the shoe section was. I said, "For you or your son?" He said, "For my daughter." FML
Today, while shopping, my dad asked me to walk further away from him, saying I was cramping his style in front of all the chicks there. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Tell him you plan to use the socks as footwear, not for masturbation.
pjsr 33
Your dad is hilarious!
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Comments (9)
rotflqtms_ 21
Wait, wait, WAIT!!! Men use socks on their penises? I guess it helps with shrinkage then... 😹😂🙈🙊🙉😜🤥
RichardPencil 32
Tell him you plan to use the socks as footwear, not for masturbation.
pjsr 33
Your dad is hilarious!
Ashamed_Sister 60
This was the perfect opportunity for a dad joke.
Calilady 11
How is this an fml?
mfranks19891989 10
Kid from kindergarten cop: boys have a penis, girls have a ******.
bobsanction 18
Too bad your dad has a shit kid that doesn't appreciate jokes.
bl3ur0z3 17
I have two sons and a husband. All their penises are in their pants, not their feet.