Today, I was walking down the hall from the livingroom. I overheard my mom telling someone how proud she was of her baby girl and how much she loved her. I thought she was referring to my first ever all "A" report card. Turns out my new kitten used its litter box correctly for the first time. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I watched my cat walk to her litter box, look at it, then walk across the room to pee on a backpack. FML
Today, after months of trying to potty train my son, he finally told me he used the potty. I went to the bathroom to check. There was nothing there. So I asked him, "Where did you go to the potty?" He then grabbed my hand and took me to the cat's litter box. My son has successfully litter trained himself. FML
Today, my toddler finally used the potty for the first time. I was so excited, I FaceTimed my mom to show her. My kid then proudly picked up the potty bowl and dumped it on my lap. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom ranting on about what a useless bitch I am. She was talking to my cat. It's not the first time this has happened, either. FML
Today, my son learned how to use the toilet for the first time. He was so excited he started peeing on the floor. FML
Today, my cat used his expensive new bed for the first time since he got it last month. He used it as a litter box. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML
Today, I heard my dog chewing on something. I called her over, held out my hand, and told her to drop it. She dropped it into my hand, and I was proud of her. That was until I realized it was cat poop. FML
Today, I walked in on my mother stroking my cat and murmuring, "Don't worry, kitty. One day, you and I... we will rule." FML
Today, I took a nap with a kitten I just adopted from my mom's house. To make her feel more comfortable, I took a nap with her on my bed. In my dream, I kept smelling poo and I felt around on the bed to find the kitten. She apparently had diarrhea on my bed and I had stuck my hand in it. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Ligerie 0
So learn to use the litter box and maybe she will love you too.
perdix 31
But when you're 19 and in the 4th grade, it's not very impressive.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (59)
Ligerie 0
So learn to use the litter box and maybe she will love you too.
chocoLIFE_fml 2
lol
Ajjas013 6
Maybe the cat gets straight A's.
americayay 0
She can't be proud of the cat too?
dudeitsdanny 10
You're the same person who reenacted The Lion King, aren't you? Except that's just your excuse for killing the at. It wasn't an accident.. It was murder.. =O EDIT: It wasn't supposed to be a reply to this =/
Aldebaran_fml 0
#1 made my day HAHAHAHAHA
jenna_rae 0
haha. agreed :)
SickToDeath 0
lol #1 poor u :( im sure they're proud anyways :)
GR3453m0nk3y 4
haha maybe you should've gotten an A+!!!!!! sux2bu
jw90 18
sorry Op animals usually get priority over humans.
seanreddog 4
taco.
aaaaa2p 0
Tacos are made of cats. you know that, right?
perdix 31
But when you're 19 and in the 4th grade, it's not very impressive.
Sun_Kissed18 25
True true, then its just sad
TenebrificTurtle 0
I like how you spelled out "I KILLZ KITTY LION KINGZ STYLE" in macaroni art. But don't be offended when the cops don't put it on the fridge when they take you away for animal slaughter. By the way finger painting in blood is not cool.
perdix 31
Good one, double T!
Kervik 0
Stop hating the kitten. We all noticed you are very envious of its feline capabilities.
metakingt 0
Well, you were an accident. The cat was wanted.=/
Nakedsquirrel 5
Why would someone profess their love for their child over a report card? Cats on the other hand are different and it warmed the cockles of my heart to see one of my kitties making a huge mess by scattering styrofoam packing peanuts all over the floor. Bless his little heart! That said, it doesn't warm the cockles of my heart when one of them barfs at the top of the stairs (favorite spot to puke, too.)
Person1233 13
Cockles? Lol I'm gonna use that word..
Ohnothingreally 0
Crazy cat lady?
Nakedsquirrel 5
lol nah, I just think my two useless destructive balls of fur are adorable. My sister pointed something out a while back- notice how in most cases, the only people that think their pets are cute are their owners, especially when it comes to dogs? Also, cockles is a great word.
DeathShad0 1
You just wish you were as fluffy as the kitten, with your seaweed hair and all.