Today, I was walking down the hall from the livingroom. I overheard my mom telling someone how proud she was of her baby girl and how much she loved her. I thought she was referring to my first ever all "A" report card. Turns out my new kitten used its litter box correctly for the first time. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I watched my cat walk to her litter box, look at it, then walk across the room to pee on a backpack. FML
Today, after months of trying to potty train my son, he finally told me he used the potty. I went to the bathroom to check. There was nothing there. So I asked him, "Where did you go to the potty?" He then grabbed my hand and took me to the cat's litter box. My son has successfully litter trained himself. FML
Today, my toddler finally used the potty for the first time. I was so excited, I FaceTimed my mom to show her. My kid then proudly picked up the potty bowl and dumped it on my lap. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom ranting on about what a useless bitch I am. She was talking to my cat. It's not the first time this has happened, either. FML
Today, my son learned how to use the toilet for the first time. He was so excited he started peeing on the floor. FML
Today, my cat used his expensive new bed for the first time since he got it last month. He used it as a litter box. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML
Today, I heard my dog chewing on something. I called her over, held out my hand, and told her to drop it. She dropped it into my hand, and I was proud of her. That was until I realized it was cat poop. FML
Today, I walked in on my mother stroking my cat and murmuring, "Don't worry, kitty. One day, you and I... we will rule." FML
Today, I took a nap with a kitten I just adopted from my mom's house. To make her feel more comfortable, I took a nap with her on my bed. In my dream, I kept smelling poo and I felt around on the bed to find the kitten. She apparently had diarrhea on my bed and I had stuck my hand in it. FML
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Top comments
Ligerie 0
So learn to use the litter box and maybe she will love you too.
perdix 31
But when you're 19 and in the 4th grade, it's not very impressive.
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Comments (59)
romaunts 0
Andd your life is ****** because she's proud of the cat? It doesn't mean she isn't proud of you too. gtf over it
FritoLovesYou 0
YDI for not getting straight A's already. You're the reason why Kentucky's education system sucks.
hetizmij 0
Why does that mean she wouldn't be proud of you? She was just having a conversation about her cat. Then such a line is not uncommon. That she didn't mention you in this context doesn't mean she is not proud of you too. I'm sure she is.
Fentown_fml 4
Smart kitty. :)
yepyep123 0
Yeah, I am 16 and a Junior in high school, not 19 and in the 4th grade. I am also dyslexic. So, she did have something to be proud of and she never even said good job or anything. The Kentucky school system does not suck, they have helped me and worked with me a lot. So, thanks. =)
perdix 31
Hey, that's great that you've overcome a learning disability to achieve such good grades. Let's all have a nice group hug. But, this is FMyLife. You post your stories of humiliation here only to have the rest of us heap more scorn and derision at you or the bastards who humiliated you. If you are sensitive, you may not want to read the comments, or take them seriously.
hot_mess88 0
Wow. I'm really tired and a tad tipsy and I thought that you had written that your were 16 and in junior high school. hehehe. Sorry. But really. You overheard your mom having a conversation. You did not have the full context of the conversation, and so you should not have jumped to conclusions about what she was talking about. It was actually very narcissistic of you to think that she was talking about you from that little snippet of chatter. I'm sorry. But grow up.
Godavari 0
On the bright side, you got your first-ever all "A" report card. As said by the man in that PS3 commercial, "I'm going to file this under 'Not an issue'."
Amortifiedperson 0
Aww! I can imagine this would suck. I would be pretty pissed myself. Well, you got straight A's so that's something just to be happy about all on it's own :)
Jemi9OD 0
holy crap your life is ******!! (actually, no, it isn't.)
abercombiechick 0
doesn't mean she's not proud of you too. maybe she was just talking about that and you overheard at the wrong time.
fuzzynipplz 0
Aw... tell the kitty I said congrats