Today, I was walking down the hall from the livingroom. I overheard my mom telling someone how proud she was of her baby girl and how much she loved her. I thought she was referring to my first ever all "A" report card. Turns out my new kitten used its litter box correctly for the first time. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I watched my cat walk to her litter box, look at it, then walk across the room to pee on a backpack. FML
Today, after months of trying to potty train my son, he finally told me he used the potty. I went to the bathroom to check. There was nothing there. So I asked him, "Where did you go to the potty?" He then grabbed my hand and took me to the cat's litter box. My son has successfully litter trained himself. FML
Today, my toddler finally used the potty for the first time. I was so excited, I FaceTimed my mom to show her. My kid then proudly picked up the potty bowl and dumped it on my lap. FML
Today, I walked in on my mom ranting on about what a useless bitch I am. She was talking to my cat. It's not the first time this has happened, either. FML
Today, my son learned how to use the toilet for the first time. He was so excited he started peeing on the floor. FML
Today, my cat used his expensive new bed for the first time since he got it last month. He used it as a litter box. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML
Today, I heard my dog chewing on something. I called her over, held out my hand, and told her to drop it. She dropped it into my hand, and I was proud of her. That was until I realized it was cat poop. FML
Today, I walked in on my mother stroking my cat and murmuring, "Don't worry, kitty. One day, you and I... we will rule." FML
Today, I took a nap with a kitten I just adopted from my mom's house. To make her feel more comfortable, I took a nap with her on my bed. In my dream, I kept smelling poo and I felt around on the bed to find the kitten. She apparently had diarrhea on my bed and I had stuck my hand in it. FML
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Top comments
Ligerie 0
So learn to use the litter box and maybe she will love you too.
perdix 31
But when you're 19 and in the 4th grade, it's not very impressive.
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Comments (59)
EChan 1
You should work at getting more than one A instead of what your mom thinks of your cat.
blastvortex 4
Who cares what she thinks about the cat, I'd like to know why you should take that as a personal affront. It's not her fault you have an over-bloated ego. It's a good thing she wasn't talking about you - it would've merely served as a reason to make your own head bigger. Now do everybody (including yourself) a favor and quit being such an emo about it. PS Give the good kitty my congratulations.
ActionManly 11
YDI for this not being an FML. If I do good on my report, I don't expect my parents to continuously congratulate me or even care. Kudos to the Kitten!
Ninjaface 0
YDI for not being potty-trained before the cat. Maybe parenting has really just gone that far down hill, but to me if you're old enough to use the Internet ten you're old enough to drop a load in the proper receptacle.
geert_3 0
Today, I made a completely new FML account just to tell you're a dumbass.
hornetchik 0
This is a stupid FML, it isn't even a FML! Just coz shes proud of the cat, doesn't mean shes not of you! ARGHhhHH I don't even see the significance of this FML!
Improbability 0
Agreed. Completely. Even if you let drop the fact that she made a self-centered assumption (that anyone could have made) the issue is that she then thought that was FML worthy. That Just further highlights the self-centeredness. I mean, cmon. "I made an innocent wrong assumption and then made a big deal out of it. FML." Who cares?
giganticbrain 0
Good to know you like to think everyone is always talking about you.
TenebrificTurtle 0
When the game of life makes you feel like quittin', It helps a lot if you kill a kitten Mark my words, cause from where I'm sittin', You can't go wrong if you kill a kitten And to quote the bible, cause that's where it's written "If ye loveth Jesus, ye must kill a kitten" Flush it down the can, hit it with your van, Drown it in a lake, bake a kitty cake Throw it at a train, make it snort cocaine Stick some TNT up its cat booty Do what you must do, as long as you... Kill a kitten (meow) Kill a kitten
SickToDeath 0
...no comment...
visage 0
YDI for not getting all A's prior to this report card.