Today, I was walking around in the mall when I dropped my purse. When I bent down to pick it up, some guy came up behind me, humped my ass, then ran away laughing. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
Today, I saw a coin on the ground. As I bent over to pick it up, some dude came up from behind, grabbed my waist and humped me three times. He ran away before I could get a good look at his face. FML
Today, I was walking home when a man passed me and stopped. Thinking he was staring at my butt, I asked him kindly to stop. He then laughed and grabbed my wallet that was in my back pocket, and ran. He wasn't staring at my butt, and found it funny that I thought he was. FML
Today, on the way home, a guy yelled "Hey, YOU!" from behind me, so I walked faster. He ran up to me, shouting, "I said stop, asshole!" I almost pissed myself in fear, thinking I was being mugged. Turns out I'd left my wallet at the grocery store, and he was just trying to return it. FML
Today, I was riding up an escalator in the mall in uncomfortable high heels. While adjusting my bag I suddenly lost my balance and began flailing wildly. In desperation I hurled forward and ended up grabbing a teenage boy's buttocks and was promptly slapped by his girlfriend. FML
Today, while walking around the local thrift store, I noticed an attractive guy watching me and following me through the aisles. As he followed me to my car I was sure I would get his number. He then asks me to bring my purse inside as I had been tagged as a shoplifter. I work at the store. FML
Today, I was trying on some clothes in the store's changing room, when someone reached under the door and grabbed my purse, shoes, and pants. FML
Today, I was walking down the street when a man stole my purse. He then opened the purse, threw up in it, and gave it back. FML
Today, while I was walking home from work, it started to rain. Clutching my bag in one hand, I started to run so I wouldn't get too wet. I saw a man running towards me and all of a sudden he tackled me to the ground. He thought I had stolen someone's handbag. FML
Today, while coming out of Walmart, I dropped a $50 bill. Some kid came running up after me yelling, "Hey mister, you dropped this!" as he ran past me laughing. FML
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Top comments
Nena713 0
What an ass.
kidsanchez1 4
I'm sorry I was dared to do it
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Comments (399)
sexirene 0
that sucks that kinda happened to me before I was waiting to get a smoothie and my bf was infront of me a guy walked by and grabbed my ass
dancerhottie 0
haha take it as a comliment!, he chose u over prolly alot if other girls in the place(;
RedPillSucks 33
How's sexual assault a compliment?
justj2010 0
lame. at least u won't feel bad when something similar happens to you. give him a thank you card, why don't you?
FFML_314 12
I was just going to say that Raleigh :P
ban_anaa 0
hahaha XD but hey it could have been worse, he could of pulled your pants/skirt/shorts down and then stole your purse!
Mikeymikey 4
waaaf waaaf wafff waaaaf!!!! wooof wooof naaaarf!!!
CreepyGuy666 2
Great contribution Dog ;)
OwNowBrownCow 0
those are some words of wisdom right there
Mikeymikey 4
Translation = ahahaha ahahahah ahahahhaa ahaha lol lol sucks to be you :D
Anthrophobia 2
LOL.
Raleigh_bruh 7
Sorry, Anna. :P Rose your sister sounds kinky.
mimimonster 0
hahahah I wish I was there
fmlsoobad 0
ha it's like a cuple minutes later yu see a wet spot on yur but ha
mrragealot 0
wtfisthisimreading seriously wut?
pingpongpickle 8
hahah I can't understand either of you
OwNowBrownCow 0
whstdoumean you don'tunderstand them?
pingpongpickle 8
uni?? what language are you speaking?
OwNowBrownCow 0
I was just joking. they must be drunk
pingpongpickle 8
yeah guys , keep your eyes open while you're typing
My_Deathbed 0
sum ppl just do that to shorten words!!!!! i culd spell correctly if i wanted to!
OwNowBrownCow 0
I culod aslo srcmlbae wrdos auornd and you wuold slitl be albe to raed tihs
pingpongpickle 8
uni..you have way too much time on your hands. (:
OwNowBrownCow 0
it's 1:30 in the morning. what else is there to do?
pingpongpickle 8
true..well I'm vacuuming hahah. nobody in my house sleeps
OwNowBrownCow 0
o wow. I am the only one awake in my family.
pingpongpickle 8
I'm gona be up alll night..tomorrow is like the only day I don't have to be up at 7 :/
OwNowBrownCow 0
dang. I try to pull all-nighters but I usually fall asleep around 2:30
pingpongpickle 8
ahahh loser. jkk
OwNowBrownCow 0
haha. I've slept in everyday this summer
pingpongpickle 8
you're luckyy, I had to get up at 6 today just to go to the dentist. hahah
OwNowBrownCow 0
that sucks
pingpongpickle 8
yess. otherwise I've had cheer or skating at 7
OwNowBrownCow 0
that still sucks. the only thing I've done is baseball every day but that was at night
kybabyy 4
So don't bend over in public. Aren't mothers supposed to teach this stuff?
Raleigh_bruh 7
Well how was she supposed to pick up her purse then if she can't bend over? :|
kybabyy 4
You just bend your knees and pick it up! Most girls (with any common sense) know that it's not a bright idea bend over and draw attention to your ass. It's like a flashing neon sign that you welcome creepers.
Raleigh_bruh 7
I see :o Thank you for educating me.
the_Flirt 0
reminds of American wedding
Stevefett 0
46- Jamie Kennedy you rule!!