Today, I went to boxing and this hot chick asked me if I was wearing a sports cup. I replied yes, when I wasn't. I thought she was going to check with her hand and feel. She checked with her knee. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, one of my baseball teammates thought it would be funny to perform a "cup-check", by hitting our crotches with the end of a baseball bat. I was actually watching the game, so I didn't see him when he came up and hit me. I wasn't wearing a cup. My nuts have shrunk by half of regular size. FML
Today, I was in an elevator, and the hot girl who lives in my building and who I have a crush on got in. She was in a wheelchair with a broken leg, I panicked and tried to flirt with her, and I said, "Nice chair." She replied, "Nice bruise" and punched me in the nuts. FML
Today, I was at a football game with my boyfriend. I said my hands were getting cold, hoping he'd hold them. He replied, "Uh, they make pockets for a reason..." and physically showed me how to put my hands in my pockets. FML
Today, I got punched in the face by a girl for asking if she was okay after I had seen her crying. FML
Today, my friend invited me to his boxing club for the first time. Since I'm somewhat short and scrawny-looking, he was worried that the workout would be too difficult for me. I waved him off and told him that I was tougher than I looked. Five minutes into class, I sprained my ankle. FML
Today, while working at the bar, I had a beautiful woman squeeze my bicep and tell me I was in amazing shape. Instead of flirting like any normal human being, I awkwardly said, "Thanks…" and then walked away in shame. FML
Today, at the camp that I work at, a little girl asked to "feel" my muscles. Thinking it was cute, I flexed for her. She laughed and said, "No, really." FML
Today, we sparred for Tae Kwon Do. I forgot my cup, but I didn't think anyone sucked enough to hit me below the belt. Five seconds into a match, some girl knees me in the Hacky Sacks. After writhing in pain for 30 seconds, I got back up to spar. I didn't think she sucked enough to do it again. She did. FML
Today, I was in the gym when I noticed three trainers who worked there staring at me. Thinking that they were checking me out, i turned the speed on the treadmill higher. Finally one of the trainers came over, and asked me to leave until I got a sports bra that actually worked. FML
Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
SirSantpoort 0
YDI for lying.
GavinRoskamp 0
Idiot.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (237)
Rishy 0
Well at least she felt you...
superbadd 0
1 lol
vexxcis 0
MY BALLS! Oh damn jimmy's sterile...
phantom956 2
that's still prolly the most action u got today. fyl
Lozza111 0
wow, that must have taken balls
the_pan1c 5
that sucks fyl indeed
xBangOut 4
Ha ha, smart girl :D Why would any one want to touch sports cup with hand through ur pants? Seriously why?
Chanti_fml 26
And what have you learned from this...? Next time someone asks you if you're wearing one, tell the truth! Don't lye about that kinda stuff. It will backfire, as you've experienced. Autch!
lololol247 0
Gives a fresh new meaning to Tchaikovsky's ballet... **Puts on sunglasses** ..."The Nutcracker" YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
superbadd 0
haha puns FTW
okieraider71 4
I would tell you to ask her if she was wearing a puss plate (like girls softball catchers wear), but I strongly suspect she would deck your pussy ass before you could knee her vag. Your best solution is a gender re-assignment operation. Then you could be proud of being a sissy.
lololol247 0
44, hey asshole, you try to make one expert.
lololol247 0
Im sorry 44, there was someone else that insulted my Caruso joke >:(
superbadd 0
-_-
Gerblat 0
lol, all I'm saying is don't force it. If you make a Caruso joke every fml, it gets old really fast. And I for one appreciate a good Caruso joke, so let's try to use them sparingly, and only when they are genuinely funny. Not just using them for the hell of it.
lololol247 0
59, i don't make one every FML. I only make one when it comes to me, unforced. Get your shit in line before you say shit.
Gerblat 0
Damn, you're really butt-hurt. I guess I didn't just see you make a Caruso joke in the fml directly above this one. Hmm... Sorry if I embarassed you in front of all your "friends"
Moshpoint0 0
lolol - YOUR jokes suck balls. Notice the emphasis on your, meaning, not all jokes like that are bad, just yours.
Averizzle 0
Oo online dude fight! *Grabs popcorn*
sharmen 0
67, if you're too dense to figure out what a sports cup is from the context of the FML (not to mention that it's kind of obvious), then you probably won't understand if someone explained it to you.
ronton 4
CUPCHECK!! u never did that?? u were never young
hemz_fml 13
LOL
imbatman_fml 0
Why would you wear a sport cup? My mom always fills my sport cup with what she calls "man juice", it's a mixture of sunny d and kool-aid! if that girl kneed your sport cup, you should yell someone.
Laxer21 0
60 & 65 argue like girls
Tripout 0
ROFL @ 96 dude when u said it I pictured a lil kid standin with thier head tilted and a confused face
ravensunnyd 0
wow your a dumb ass
Ratchet319 0
YDI because you didn't wear it, you lied, and you got horny over it
lololol247 0
68, I hope what they say about dogs growing to look like their owners isn't true... because that would make you one ugly son of a bitch.
Boelie1990 0
looks like the chinese guy needs some sushi to calm down..
Nailbunny 4
ydi for thinking that was going to be a "dear penthouse" moment.
steve2112886 0
59- I don't...
supergirl69_fml 0
hmm...fail.
skull_candy 0
ahahaha. agreed with 59 and 65. it's getting old.
xoxo56836757xoxo 0
haha good job pentadik;; i knew there was something wrong with that sentence.
AussieCavalier 0
That took a lot of balls
happyhak 5
Looks like #125 needs to get his facts straight...don't stereotype and if you're gonna be an asshole and do it anyway, at least get it right...dumbass...
kittykittymeow 0
125- first of all, chinese people didn't invent sushi. japanese people did. second of all, I can tell by lolol's shirt that he's korean, neither of which are chinese. seriously don't talk shit if you're gonna sound like an idiot.
emo_devon 11
....racist asshole.
xWITNESS_xX 0
125 got owned x4
YourEvilHero 12
Chinese japanese same thing
bozo92 0
that sucks, that happened to me in tae kwon do class, but the instructor used their bamboo staff, i didnt even expect them to check i just didnt want to get in trouble since i forgot lmao 0_o
gaahhh123 0
HAHA
livinthefridge13 1
lol 96 why did she do that to you?
martin079 0
damn supperbadd u hot n yea dis guy a complete dumbass y would she feel with her hand but hey we guys like that worth the try lol
jjkiss 0
you're hot;)
jjkiss 0
*boelie1990
GavinRoskamp 0
Idiot.
NayaBayBeee 0
woww. umm thass pretty rude of her.
firedraik 0
That's how they always check in martial arts class. So not a surprise she did that in boxing. Live and learn.
nyabya92 0
fail.
unblue_x_skye 0
agreed with #2 if you were boxing, why would she feel you? -__-
joseph4242423 0
his balls now look like 2/3rds of the blue man group
SirSantpoort 0
YDI for lying.
theshined 0
atleast she touched you
juddy5 0
dude I think she likes u!
BehindTheSun 2
You can't possibly expect any FYLs. That was pretty stupid, man.
BrownSugar_fml 5
I agree, he deserves it for being a pervert.
IchBeinEinTier 0
he is a stupid pervert! at least hint toward her finding out fir herself.
symph13 0
lol should have said no
superbadd 0
she probably would've done it either way =
BehindTheSun 2
well, I don't know many women who randomly knee guys in the balls, so I think no would have been a safe bet.
superbadd 0
24 I wouldn't knee a random guy without good reason. BUT it would've been funny to watch.
BehindTheSun 2
You know, that is quite a good point.
Lozza111 0
Tehe, now I have Taylor swift in my head... love that song
lenavis 0
35, nobody cares.
Lozza111 0
wow 111 that was harsh *sniffs* maybe no one cares about you?
VeryNice329 0
why would you lie about something so dumb? ydi all the way. and not too many girls(those with self respect at least) will just touch your groin area.
chelzy 0
yeah. besides, 90% of straight girls don't go near boxers. she either bi or lesbian. why would she feel you up dumbass?
superbadd 0
95% of people will believe anything with a percent sign.
Lozza111 0
99.96% of statistics are made up and people are more likely to believe you if you use decimal points and uneven numbers
superbadd 0
and that's why you need sources
superbadd 0
like actual ones.
wastland247 0
Nine out of ten people agree; one jackass will always disagree with the other nine people.
Gerblat 0
81% of people are good at basic math, leaving 29% that routinely make mistakes.
giraffesrcool 0
is that true?
KingDingALing 9
all of you are 100% stupid xD :p
heyygirll 0
shuttttuppp your allll realllly uglyyy ewww seriously right now it's grossing me out your all no lifes who have to come on herre to get some Internet attention and it really retarded...come to think of it your probably all computer geeks sitting behind a laptop trying to come up with an alter ego..,like you all seriously need to stop
Hockeylover87_71 0
yeah? so why are you on here p.s. I bet you're pretty fugly yourself
GDIalex 11
how about: there's a 10 types of people - who knows what is binary numeral system and who doesn't.
tygerarmy 35
Binary joke ftw! YDI for bein' a perv. Best case scenario was she punches you in the balls. And I don't think you're into pain cause then this wouldn't be an fml. Now if you would've said no an this happened then fyl.
Lozza111 0
haha, I'm right 97% of the time, who cares about the other 4%
Mcawesomepants 2
And down goes Goodman!
wotfukm8 18
I'm sorry this is such an under-appreciated comment
gusgus36 5
YDI... why did you lie? maybe she could tell you were lying so that's why she went with the knee... geez...
faxe 0
Get revenge. Seduce, then punch her boobs, Hard!
superbadd 0
what's your major malfunction numb nuts
DjXitium 0
12 - you sir are stupid. no guy has a right to lay a hand on a lady, especailly on the breast. that may cause breast cancer later on in her life.
faxe 0
30 - whatever 38, with your logic, getting punched in the nuts will give you testicular cancer later in life ?
DjXitium 0
89 your such a dumbass. I know what I'm talking about. my mom had breast cancer because of that reason. a woman getting hit on the breast gives them a risk of getting breast cancer.
Trickyklown 0
Maybe 12 was kidding? Also you are saying that it is ok for a female to hit a guy, but it isn't for a guy to hit a girl? What ever happened to wanting to be treated equally? If a girl throws a punch (in this case knee) they should expect one back. I don't think only hitting the breast can cause breast cancer there should be more to that. But then again what doesn't cause cancer nowadays?
ShutMeOut 0
DJ you need to chill out. It was funny... like that awesome pedo stache you're rocking.
Granddragon 0
DJ, if you're here.....who's running the gas station?
ShutMeOut 0
123.... well played sir... well played. haha
William_Park 1
LOL 123 :x
faxe 0
DJ: Out of respect for your mother, I won't insult you. But before you play that card again, remember that you aren't the only person in the World who knows a victim of breast cancer. Besides, men get breast cancer too, so if you are still going to hold onto your logic, I'd suggest you get a tittie guard.
DjXitium 0
102&103 - I never said it was ok for a girl to hit a guy in the nuts, I know it isn't but if i implied that then my bad. Call me crazy but I dont believe in hitting girls no matter what the situation but that's just me. 129- thank you for that information, I've always been told otherwise. My bad. I feel stupid now haha. Faxe- I apolgize. I've always been told that there was a risk when that happens. Kinda never bothered to do my research about it.i Should do research more often before I say anything so my bad. Granddragon- I'm a 17 year old Mexican running a gas station, ordering 30year old sh*theads like you and ShutMeOut around. I really don't see a downfall in this.
Lozza111 0
the point is that the girl thought he had a guard on, if your ganna punch her in the breast then you would have thought that she had something protecting them, she obviously wasn't trying to hurt him if she asked if he had the guard, so doing that is not the same as kneeing a guy if he has a guard