Today, I was talking to a customer, when I choked on my spit. After I could breathe again I was so embarrassed I said the first thing that popped into my head, which was, "I'm sorry, I don't know how to swallow." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while giving speech in class, I choked on my own spit and had a coughing fit while everyone stared at me intently. When I finally regained my composure, my teacher told me my time was up and to sit down. I hadn't even got finished the first paragraph. FML
Today, I choked on my saliva during a medical interview. FML
Today, while in the break room at work, I laughed at a co-worker's joke and started choking on my drink. My boss exclaimed in front of everyone, "We need to teach this girl how to swallow!" to everyone's childish amusement. Now they won't stop calling me Spit. FML
Today, because I was the only manager scheduled, I went into work despite feeling sick to my stomach. While sitting down with a customer, I got the urge to throw up and tried to hold it back. Instead I vomited in my mouth, instinctively swallowed and started choking in front of the customer. FML
Today, out of nowhere, I started violently choking on my own saliva and shat myself in the process. FML
Today, I attended my first meeting with my bosses. For lunch we went to a restaurant. I choked on a piece of meat and couldn't breathe anymore. I had to take that piece of meat out of my throat with my fingers, and then put it back on my plate all chewed up. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, I choked on water so hard that I threw up and shat myself. FML
Today, I was helping an old lady at my job. While I was in mid-sentence, she coughed wet phlegm directly into my mouth. It tasted vile and caused me to have a panic attack while working. FML
Today, I was in class when I coughed up so much snot inside my mouth. It was so gross, I couldn’t talk. I raised my hand to go over to the sink to spit it out but I couldn’t talk and he didn’t understand, so I just got up and walked over. A few kids in the back saw me do it and said, "Ewwww." Everyone stared. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
That's when he winks and responds: "Spitting is just as good."
Tripartita 45
Plot twist: the OP is a stripper talking to one of her many patrons.
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Comments (24)
jlang917 14
Nice one OP..
Welshite 40
That's when he winks and responds: "Spitting is just as good."
chewsef 17
#thatswhatSHEsaid
Tripartita 45
Plot twist: the OP is a stripper talking to one of her many patrons.
Colon_Man 17
Just then the store speakers started playing a muzak version of ****. (Yes. Thank you, autocorrect. I know what I was trying to type)
gotbeer 7
omg hahaa thnx for the good laugh!
Goblin182 27
You sound like my wife.:(
fishinpink 20
OMG DUDE! hahahahahahahaaaa I know you didn't!?! (that make me choke on MY spit and now I feel like a hypocrite)
guttedbrit 26
I've said so many embarrassing things on the phone to customers! hope the rest of the phone call went okay for you though :)
Bearsmomma 30
Was it over the phone? I figured it was in person. IF it was the phone, the MUTE button is your friend!
guttedbrit 26
perhaps it was in person, my mistake! but even so, when it happened to me on the phone I didn't think to mute unfortunately! I just kinda panicked and held the phone away from my face
Bibblejomin 18
That's strangely adorable
leahrb 7
Actually, I work at ChickfilA. And it was a face to face conversation with the customer. It all worked out tho apparently my manager finds this hilarious.
saffy66 34
Classic rookie mistake - you have to start swallowing as soon as you know that spit is about to hit the back of your throat. Not after its already hit - that just leads to coughing and activation of the gag reflex. Timing is everything.
fishinpink 20
no way #10 you gotta taste it first on the back of your tongue then take a big gulp and swallow that spit!
ryannstevenn 11
Please stop, #14.
fishinpink 20
oh chillax #17 it's just a joke
pacman490 21
I think there's a mathematical formula for compounded embarrassment