Today, I was walking around in the mall when I dropped my purse. When I bent down to pick it up, some guy came up behind me, humped my ass, then ran away laughing. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
Today, I saw a coin on the ground. As I bent over to pick it up, some dude came up from behind, grabbed my waist and humped me three times. He ran away before I could get a good look at his face. FML
Today, I was walking home when a man passed me and stopped. Thinking he was staring at my butt, I asked him kindly to stop. He then laughed and grabbed my wallet that was in my back pocket, and ran. He wasn't staring at my butt, and found it funny that I thought he was. FML
Today, on the way home, a guy yelled "Hey, YOU!" from behind me, so I walked faster. He ran up to me, shouting, "I said stop, asshole!" I almost pissed myself in fear, thinking I was being mugged. Turns out I'd left my wallet at the grocery store, and he was just trying to return it. FML
Today, I was riding up an escalator in the mall in uncomfortable high heels. While adjusting my bag I suddenly lost my balance and began flailing wildly. In desperation I hurled forward and ended up grabbing a teenage boy's buttocks and was promptly slapped by his girlfriend. FML
Today, while walking around the local thrift store, I noticed an attractive guy watching me and following me through the aisles. As he followed me to my car I was sure I would get his number. He then asks me to bring my purse inside as I had been tagged as a shoplifter. I work at the store. FML
Today, I was trying on some clothes in the store's changing room, when someone reached under the door and grabbed my purse, shoes, and pants. FML
Today, I was walking down the street when a man stole my purse. He then opened the purse, threw up in it, and gave it back. FML
Today, while I was walking home from work, it started to rain. Clutching my bag in one hand, I started to run so I wouldn't get too wet. I saw a man running towards me and all of a sudden he tackled me to the ground. He thought I had stolen someone's handbag. FML
Today, while coming out of Walmart, I dropped a $50 bill. Some kid came running up after me yelling, "Hey mister, you dropped this!" as he ran past me laughing. FML
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Top comments
Nena713 0
What an ass.
kidsanchez1 4
I'm sorry I was dared to do it
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Comments (399)
sxm 13
are you hott. ?
dridri97 0
aww OP I m so sorry
sallen0046 4
Yeah see, this isn't a FML. This is a police report, but you were probably too busy thinking about posting it on the internet to actually take any kind of real life action. They're right though, you do kind of deserve it for sticking your ass up in the air instead of bending your knees.
shaude91 0
hahaha!!! i love what u just posted!!!!!
goonie85 0
So she should've called the police and wasted their time describing someone she only saw while they were running away, have no name to put on said report, and description of this traumatic event is "some dude I don't know made humping motions behind me while I bent over." How will this solve the problem? The cops are going to say "um, we can't exactly do anything about that." You have then wasted time, breath, and effort. You could just laugh and get over it, since it will most likely NEVER happen to you again!
gasbreakdipdip 0
in most malls there's 24hour recorded survelenc. camras soo that's how ur gona see his face
imhowie 2
He probably recently got out of prison, where that wpuld be common practice.
caitlyn_skater 0
time for a rape whistle!!
vanillathirteen 0
press charges... no guy has that right to do that unless you want him too
GamerGoddess 0
WTF who just randomly does that? @.@
Primus_fml 0
That's why you crouch to pick things up.
elissamaleia 0
Haha, that is SO wrong. And disrespectful.
DarkHelmet 10
hahahahahaha that is so EPICALLY Awesome!!!
oogyboogy 6
I think it's epicly
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Unless you're referring to a meme I'm unaware of, you're wrong. It's spelled "epically."