Today, I was walking around in the mall when I dropped my purse. When I bent down to pick it up, some guy came up behind me, humped my ass, then ran away laughing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
Today, I saw a coin on the ground. As I bent over to pick it up, some dude came up from behind, grabbed my waist and humped me three times. He ran away before I could get a good look at his face. FML
Today, I was walking home when a man passed me and stopped. Thinking he was staring at my butt, I asked him kindly to stop. He then laughed and grabbed my wallet that was in my back pocket, and ran. He wasn't staring at my butt, and found it funny that I thought he was. FML
Today, on the way home, a guy yelled "Hey, YOU!" from behind me, so I walked faster. He ran up to me, shouting, "I said stop, asshole!" I almost pissed myself in fear, thinking I was being mugged. Turns out I'd left my wallet at the grocery store, and he was just trying to return it. FML
Today, I was riding up an escalator in the mall in uncomfortable high heels. While adjusting my bag I suddenly lost my balance and began flailing wildly. In desperation I hurled forward and ended up grabbing a teenage boy's buttocks and was promptly slapped by his girlfriend. FML
Today, while walking around the local thrift store, I noticed an attractive guy watching me and following me through the aisles. As he followed me to my car I was sure I would get his number. He then asks me to bring my purse inside as I had been tagged as a shoplifter. I work at the store. FML
Today, I was trying on some clothes in the store's changing room, when someone reached under the door and grabbed my purse, shoes, and pants. FML
Today, I was walking down the street when a man stole my purse. He then opened the purse, threw up in it, and gave it back. FML
Today, while I was walking home from work, it started to rain. Clutching my bag in one hand, I started to run so I wouldn't get too wet. I saw a man running towards me and all of a sudden he tackled me to the ground. He thought I had stolen someone's handbag. FML
Today, while coming out of Walmart, I dropped a $50 bill. Some kid came running up after me yelling, "Hey mister, you dropped this!" as he ran past me laughing. FML
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Top comments
Nena713 0
What an ass.
kidsanchez1 4
I'm sorry I was dared to do it
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Comments (399)
Nena713 0
What an ass.
LoganBballin16 0
hahaha this made me laugh lol but yea fyl but if you have a nice butt ydi ;-P
thatguy888 0
clever
kidsanchez1 4
I'm sorry I was dared to do it
William_Park 1
I see what you did there.
dancerhottie 0
hahaha that's funny! good one(:
pingpongpickle 8
wear a fanny pack from now on
OwNowBrownCow 0
if op was a guy I would have said "don't drop the soap"
StoryOfTheYear 15
Now if you are a guy that would be insanely depressing for multiple reasons
Lozza111 0
hehe, fanny pack, that means bum bag right?
MnBran6 0
so?it was a joke that nobody will know about. not an fml
MrLefty 8
haha OP must have a nice ass. but FYL for the embarrassment, but also YDI for bending over at the waist instead of squatting with your knees to pick it up.
paigeatsflesh 11
Lmaooo, I did that to a guy once.........
pingpongpickle 8
you're right, there's nothing wrong with fanny packs. my grandma wears them all the time
imaginaryvoice 18
"Wait come back! I wasn't done!!"
Chrisskiies 0
ahah or lil packs with strings, idk what they're really called butt yeee ima wear mines to edc tomorow if I feel better :/
YakuzaxGeneralz 9
WTF is edc everyone has been tlking bout it
austin95 0
lmao.
Chrisskiies 0
79 edc= electic daisy carnival other words a massive rave in la going Friday and Saturday :D
Chrisskiies 0
guesswho watch me sneak it in, and my shirts goes off lmao.. are you going?
YakuzaxGeneralz 9
ohh no wonder I was confused. u two live In la
colts609380 7
ydi for dropping the purse..... lol jk. that's nasty (Cleavland voice)
kidsanchez1 4
84 I wouldn't take a fanny pack I would tape my wallets between my thighs right next to your private but not actually touching it
roon24 0
rule 1: don't drop the soap in the shower. rule 2: don't drop the purse in the mall.
Chrisskiies 0
OMG I feel so stupid rose lmao I didn't recognize you haha my friend is working one of the tix booth so ya I might go, plus I work early Sunday so don't feel like thizzing out all day and night
xBangOut 4
C'mon, it was pretty cute :)
SoCalBro 0
EDC is gunna be so legit
tonganstyle61 0
ish is funny but dang really fyl. shudda smak da dude and den laughed at him
bbbbbbbbbbaaaaaa 0
yeah that was me ;)
OwNowBrownCow 0
COTFLGOHAHA!!!
pingpongpickle 8
hahah uni, are you choking?
Mortanious 0
1, that is probably what the guy was thinking. lol
OwNowBrownCow 0
no, I didn't feel like using lol so I put cotflgoahaha which means crawling on the floor laughing guts out and having a heart attack I should of used ROTFSTCLMAAOBPO instead
amerrah 4
This reminds me of Ludacris's song where he says "face down, ass up"
babbycakes101 0
he'll yea Ima be theire 2 edc <3 best rave<3
pingpongpickle 8
oh..alright. I have no idea what that one means either, hah
OwNowBrownCow 0
it means rolling on the floor scaring the cat laughing my ass and other body parts off
pingpongpickle 8
do you make these up??
OwNowBrownCow 0
I guess you could say that it is an over exxageration of lol
OwNowBrownCow 0
I was searching for the longest acronyms and I found these.
pingpongpickle 8
wow..
OwNowBrownCow 0
I was bored ok
pingpongpickle 8
haaha okay. hey you made it past 2:30. good job :)
OwNowBrownCow 0
I'm about to pass out though. I'm so tired
kayceekaye 0
Hahaha I would have laughed so frickin hard if I saw that.
PurpleMonkeysFor 0
have a sence of humor op , that's not an fml it's funny ! if that happened to me I'd laugh and go on with my buisness
lololol247 0
Giggity.
okieraider71 4
Several chicks have pointed out how to pick up something without looking like a ****. I have a mental pic of you bending over- knees straight-and your ass straight up in the air, like a neon sign. DON'T BEHAVE LIKE A HO AND YOU WON'T BE TREATED LIKE A HO!!!
mustardcat 1
or was the ass too huge LOOLLL
onelove222 0
I've been Rollin Rollin Rollin I ain't slept in weeks<3..... AZ is where the best raves are at ... PLUR :)
Blame_The_Dog 0
well I'm sure he had a logical reason, you're probably a cougar so be happy :)
lilmissy1290 0
Well OP, maybe you should learb to bend at the knee not at the waist.. bending at the waist shows you want guys to look at your ass.. so in a sense ydi
rudiznell 0
something i would probably do...
jplumbob 4
93 I am bad please spank me.
crazy_bitch_9999 0
hey, it's only instinct. you see a girl bent over and you had better get ready, you're going to hump that ass!!!
psi_eric 0
Haha. Funny... but it's still assault. :/
requiem360 0
you just got sexually assaulted! lolololololol!!!
Trickyklown 0
Can you say... Surprise Butt Secks? xD
NzxtZ06 0
take comfort OP. the only reason he did that is because it's the only way he will ever know what a girls ass feels like against his crotch
Mauskau 36
59 yeah they're bum bags. Americans call their asses their fannies. fail
Kibten 0
omg! I would totally dare my friend to do that!! and I would be laughing my ass off!!! but that is not that bad! at least he didn't stick his finger in your butt.
BeachPanda 0
phanny packs would definitely work
OliviaNicole 5
Oh my god that's disgusting. The nerve of some people, I hope you're not scarred for life OP. I'd say chase him and kick his gay ass.
Hockeylover87_71 0
The Chinese guy from Hot Rod!!!
Stevefett 0
66- if you really did that you are aw
Stevefett 0
103- Alright bend over and I will do it to you. Then we will see how cute it is.( lease say yes, come on please say yes)
Stevefett 0
175- I love that pic.
cellerbeck 4
at least you know you rant ugly if random guys are doing that!
BallinJ 0
Can we see pics of your ass
iheartchapman 0
Nice. loll, Fyl.
tjrocks1294 0
I hate when that happens
AndyyAOTF 3
Haha yeah 103, OP, everyone he was clearly displaying that he likes you OP he wants you to carry his seed. He shoulda used the line, "How many bones you got in yo body? Lemme add one mo"
DreamingintheSun 0
219 i have never heard an American call an ass a fanny and i've lived here my whole life. we call it an ass.
UncleverName_FYL 0
i guess you should have had more cushion for the push in, fma indeed OP
xXLenaXx 0
Why would you pick something up with your butt in the air?! At least try to be a lady...
itsjustme13 0
#1 agreed. but you have to admit that it is kinda funny. =]
happy_dino 6
Ew.
lolwutomg 0
SURPRISE BUTTSEX
Miss_Represented 0
What a loser, he can only get action when a chics back is turned!
houseofame 4
lmao whut?
zinc890 0
how old ARE you!?
lerouxmaster 7
Sexual assault FTW !
Juan_M 0
haha :D
Evafml123 0
haha I would have kicked the guy real hard.
gemgamer 4
Not f your life, f tbat poor idiots life. He obviously lacks self respect and a good home life.
websphere69 27
no woman should have to be molested like that. . .
pingpongpickle 8
fyl
ActionManly 11
Giggity!
JonathanRawr 0
Surprise Butt Secks!!
Bloodberry 0
Ray William Johnson
summerlove333 0
is doin yo mom
StoryOfTheYear 15
I hope you get squirrel AIDS!
FFML_314 12
Why does everyone insist on talking about squirells! Screw the squirells let's stick to the OP here lol!
emo_Onsterr 0
your honestly the mist boring person I've seen comment on FML ...... fyl!
brittrawrr 0
woot
Stevefett 0
36- You guys look like it's been seven days since you watched that video from "The Ring".
kaijapapaya 0
that was me...sorry ;)
crashtest1205 0
i would probably do this for a laugh, but not to a stranger!!!
My_Deathbed 0
IKR!!!!!!! the guy was probably mentally retarded :P
smokergirl420 0
I know, I do it to my boyfriend all the time, but I'd never do it to some random person.
mrragealot 0
delicious sweet lemonade
Harmonyx 4
Ewwww.....
FFML_314 12
Lol, that is so random! I wouldn't have known whether to have laughed or peed my pants :P
ColetteL 4
second this....I think it is hilarious!
Chanti_fml 26
Yeah I was wondering that too...
oogyboogy 6
ffml you look like a hamster... and a cartoon character... you would look cute without the puffy cheeks and the over editing.
brittrawrr 0
cat:D
RedPillSucks 33
All this talk of spanking and peeing is getting me kinda hard.
valley_dragon 0
you must have a damn fine ass girl
frogdog 0
lol
Asstazztic 8
Agreed