Today, I was visiting a family member at a women's prison. The staff wanted to search me, basically claiming that my breasts looked suspiciously disproportionate, implying I was smuggling something in. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, "Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode." I was then strip searched for my trouble. FML
Today, I went to Safeway. The security guard wouldn't stop staring at my boobs. When I confronted him about it he told me that they looked fake and he was making sure I didn't stuff my bra with stolen items. FML
Today, I was once again mistaken for an escaped convict. I live near a women's correctional facility and apparently my nursing scrubs look a lot like their prisoners' uniforms. The cop made me late for work. FML
Today, while going through airport security the lady asked why I folded everything so small. I said that I was going away for a month and needed to fit a lot of stuff in only one bag. She smiled, nodded and then dumped my luggage to search for "drugs and other illegal teen things." FML
Today, I was going through airport security. As my bags were being scanned, I was told that I was selected for extra searching. Right as the security guard was about to frisk me, he froze up and asked me, "You're a male, right?" I am, and I used to think that it was obvious. FML
Today, I was leaving a clothing store when the security guard stopped me and demanded that I surrender the clothing I was "trying to steal" by hiding it under my shirt. It turns out, he was just looking at my pot belly. FML
Today, while shopping, I was grabbed and dragged off to a security room with no warning. Apparently, the way I was dressed and walking was suspicious. FML
Today, I was in India. At the airport, the men and women were being searched separately. The guy welcoming us pointed me towards the women's area. I had to explain to him that I was a guy. It took 15 minutes. FML
Today, as I was crossing to the US, I got pulled over by border patrol for looking "suspicious". The female cop searched my purse and found a condom. She smirked and said, "I doubt you'd ever need that." FML
Today, I was traveling. At airport security, the woman patting me down felt something "down there" and asked me what I was wearing. I told her it was a sanitary napkin. She put her hands inside my pants just to be sure. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Palirose 22
Well, it is a prison and they DO have to be thorough and safe.
GodPart2 20
The real question is... Is OP a dude or a chick? Moobs alert!!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (83)
octopussperm125 18
Was the guard a dude or chick?
GodPart2 20
The real question is... Is OP a dude or a chick? Moobs alert!!
oj101 33
This reminds me of P*rnstache in Orange is the new Black
minesbiggerr 25
They don't have dudes in a women's prison...
TwistedCherub1 15
27, most corrections officers are male, even in women's prisons. Side note, 1: trained COs hate being called guards.
minesbiggerr 25
I meant the guards would be female but i could be wrong
horneyhic 15
Most would not be
TheDrifter 24
Men's or women's prison, most screws are male. There are always some female officers on duty at a women's prison for the sensitive searches and such, but doors, patrols and walls are still mostly men.
fucMyLifeSoHard 18
16- Did you really censor the word ****? That isn't even a curse word.
Palirose 22
Well, it is a prison and they DO have to be thorough and safe.
JasonUMN 15
Regardless of the ridiculous search, just be happy you got in to visit with them.
jococo7787 3
And just be happy they didn't see your crotch as being suspicious.
SgtAssCheeks 21
So were you smuggling something in?
annie_nk 23
She was smuggling in boobie traps.
ThatFancyPenn 18
She was smuggling in milk
SgtAssCheeks 21
The possibilities are endless.
DarkCaesar 17
Maybe it was a nuclear warhead 0.0
ptoka 20
Okay... Maybe not "endless".
jamiejones10 8
Take it as a compliment op, they probably wanted a better look of said breasts
letmehavemytea 21
Even if that was the case, sexual harassment should never be seen as a compliment.
NoMore_CoolNames 14
This is sexual harassment? I mean, it is a prison and they do have to make sure everything is ok.
BellaBear90 27
If they did it to get a better look at the boobs then yeah.
iSativa 24
OP was smuggling in silicone.
Eahae3 12
Op are you stuffing ?
boating_guy 33
Plot twist: OP is a man.
41swags 9
Something here seems a little... Off balance
mando420mun 7
u got them big tity bitys
IllestRated 17
I guess they wanted to COP a feel.
mstoffel 13
That's great! You're awesome.
breakinlegs 19
I knew a woman who had an a cup left boob and a c cup right boob.
onlychildFTW 34
I bet it was hard shopping for a proper sized bra.
awkwardloveannie 28
she gets a c cup and stuffs it