Today, I was visiting a family member at a women's prison. The staff wanted to search me, basically claiming that my breasts looked suspiciously disproportionate, implying I was smuggling something in. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, "Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode." I was then strip searched for my trouble. FML
Today, I went to Safeway. The security guard wouldn't stop staring at my boobs. When I confronted him about it he told me that they looked fake and he was making sure I didn't stuff my bra with stolen items. FML
Today, I was once again mistaken for an escaped convict. I live near a women's correctional facility and apparently my nursing scrubs look a lot like their prisoners' uniforms. The cop made me late for work. FML
Today, while going through airport security the lady asked why I folded everything so small. I said that I was going away for a month and needed to fit a lot of stuff in only one bag. She smiled, nodded and then dumped my luggage to search for "drugs and other illegal teen things." FML
Today, I was going through airport security. As my bags were being scanned, I was told that I was selected for extra searching. Right as the security guard was about to frisk me, he froze up and asked me, "You're a male, right?" I am, and I used to think that it was obvious. FML
Today, I was leaving a clothing store when the security guard stopped me and demanded that I surrender the clothing I was "trying to steal" by hiding it under my shirt. It turns out, he was just looking at my pot belly. FML
Today, while shopping, I was grabbed and dragged off to a security room with no warning. Apparently, the way I was dressed and walking was suspicious. FML
Today, I was in India. At the airport, the men and women were being searched separately. The guy welcoming us pointed me towards the women's area. I had to explain to him that I was a guy. It took 15 minutes. FML
Today, as I was crossing to the US, I got pulled over by border patrol for looking "suspicious". The female cop searched my purse and found a condom. She smirked and said, "I doubt you'd ever need that." FML
Today, I was traveling. At airport security, the woman patting me down felt something "down there" and asked me what I was wearing. I told her it was a sanitary napkin. She put her hands inside my pants just to be sure. FML
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Top comments
Palirose 22
Well, it is a prison and they DO have to be thorough and safe.
GodPart2 20
The real question is... Is OP a dude or a chick? Moobs alert!!
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Comments (83)
Tiber_fml 12
we need pictures to see for ourselves
Raidzen 12
**** setting.
farmsdirt 3
I think pictures are in order
nickzpic 8
Hey... Maybe it was a compliment!
Ugi 27
Isn't that the whole point of cosmetic surgery?
katperrin 6
Pretty sure that's sexual assault...
darkfireflame 15
They're just doing their job. Don't take it so personally.
Redmai 22
Prison guards in female prisons are notoriously handsy. The amount of women that are violated within prison is ridiculously high but no one cares sadly. Just another reason people are messed up these days.
lucasjames22 8
it's s friggin prison. can't be too careful.
kevingirl 6
it's friggin prison. they Have to be careful.