Today, my parents continue comparing me to my "perfect" friend. He smokes dope, is a compulsive thief, and has gone to juvie numerous times. I'm passing school with flying colors and have never been in any trouble with the law. Apparently I should be more like him. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, the “lowlifes” from my school who smoked weed are all doing better than I am. Some have family connections in real estate or marketing; Others banded together and started now successful brands. My strict parents forbade me from socializing where I best fit in, so I have zero connections. FML
Today, just because my mum's friend's son got better grades than me, she's now treating me like shit. You know what lady? His mom is way better than you too! She didn't attempt to kill her child half a dozen times, and you don't see me complaining about it all day long. FML
Today, I was scolding my 8 year-old son because he was getting bad grades in school. I told him that he should get straight "A"s like his friend Ceejay. He told me that comparing him to Ceejay was unfair. When I asked why, he said, "Because his dad is actually smart." FML
Today, my ex has successfully turned our son into a copy of himself, a crooked lawyer with alcoholism, a wife who hates him, a mistress he can’t afford, and a pending jail sentence for tax evasion. They’re practically twins. FML
Today, my dad called me a "deadbeat loser" after I came back from my first day of voluntary rehab for my meth problem. He's never had a job in his life and sits on the sofa all day, smoking weed and playing video games, all on my mom's salary. FML
Today, my mom talked to me and my brother about how great it was that our cousin was getting away from drugs and becoming sober, as he would have so many more opportunities opened up for him now. She explained all this while sitting on our patio, smoking a blunt. FML
Today, I was in the car with my mom. We were discussing my brother, how he's been screwing up majorly lately and she blamed it on his friends. Then she turned to me and said, "It's a good thing you've never had any friends." FML
Today, my dad yelled at me for using legal marijuana to help treat my potentially terminal cancer, which is kind of hypocritical for the man who spent significant portions of my childhood in jail for selling cocaine to rich high school kids. FML
Today, my dad heard that the guy who bullied me at school died recently of a drug overdose. For some reason, he thinks we were actually best friends, and thinks I'm doing drugs too. I'm now not allowed out of the house except to go to school. He won't listen to a word I say. FML
Today, my parents felt the need to lecture me about how people who "smoke the reefer" are a "waste of life" and will never amount to anything. I was baked during the entire conversation, and actually ended up breaking down in tears, because I realized they were totally right. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
unidentifieduser 23
Your parents have a very unique definition of "perfect". Keep doing what you're doing OP.
feven 32
My parents do this all the time. They compare to kids who are twice as bad as me
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (59)
unidentifieduser 23
Your parents have a very unique definition of "perfect". Keep doing what you're doing OP.
LunaaBluee 27
They obviously have no idea what the friend is really like and op isn't about to tell them or else they might not let them hang out anymore.
kfchicken 31
Or maybe they do its like my mom always say "only compare yourself to the good in other people" she uses that to compare my bad to they're good but never the other way around
feven 32
My parents do this all the time. They compare to kids who are twice as bad as me
kirbs19 37
They probably have no idea what's going on behind closed doors
Mauskau 36
That's why I'd tell my parents the background of my friends so they don't compare me, but never the background of people I was seeing.
xwingtwo 15
You must have had a wonderful childhood with such clueless parents.
aylind 18
Sometimes parents only see what they wanna see and ignore all the good. Sorry op. Don't let it get to you. You know you're doing great so just keep doing you.
redstone7693 29
OP? is your friends name Ricky by any chance?
Econforthwin 15
It's really tough to ignore bad criticism especially from parents, but you have to try and tune them out.
xninix_fml 36
Do your parents know all that about the kid they're comparing you to?
Alchemist_21 26
Parents shouldn't criticize their children by comparing them to any of their friends. Parents who do that may as well say they'd rather have the friend as their child instead of their actual child.
jesuis_julie 21
Some parents compare you to your friends when in reality they have no idea how they actually are.
keiNan_fml 35
Don't pay attention towards nonsense. You are doing great op.
born_hustla 26
Apparently your parents don't know either you or your "perfect friend". Crazy thing is, they probably won't believe you if you told them who your friend really is! ?