Today, I was visiting a family member at a women's prison. The staff wanted to search me, basically claiming that my breasts looked suspiciously disproportionate, implying I was smuggling something in. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, "Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode." I was then strip searched for my trouble. FML
Today, I went to Safeway. The security guard wouldn't stop staring at my boobs. When I confronted him about it he told me that they looked fake and he was making sure I didn't stuff my bra with stolen items. FML
Today, I was once again mistaken for an escaped convict. I live near a women's correctional facility and apparently my nursing scrubs look a lot like their prisoners' uniforms. The cop made me late for work. FML
Today, while going through airport security the lady asked why I folded everything so small. I said that I was going away for a month and needed to fit a lot of stuff in only one bag. She smiled, nodded and then dumped my luggage to search for "drugs and other illegal teen things." FML
Today, I was going through airport security. As my bags were being scanned, I was told that I was selected for extra searching. Right as the security guard was about to frisk me, he froze up and asked me, "You're a male, right?" I am, and I used to think that it was obvious. FML
Today, I was leaving a clothing store when the security guard stopped me and demanded that I surrender the clothing I was "trying to steal" by hiding it under my shirt. It turns out, he was just looking at my pot belly. FML
Today, while shopping, I was grabbed and dragged off to a security room with no warning. Apparently, the way I was dressed and walking was suspicious. FML
Today, I was in India. At the airport, the men and women were being searched separately. The guy welcoming us pointed me towards the women's area. I had to explain to him that I was a guy. It took 15 minutes. FML
Today, as I was crossing to the US, I got pulled over by border patrol for looking "suspicious". The female cop searched my purse and found a condom. She smirked and said, "I doubt you'd ever need that." FML
Today, I was traveling. At airport security, the woman patting me down felt something "down there" and asked me what I was wearing. I told her it was a sanitary napkin. She put her hands inside my pants just to be sure. FML
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Top comments
Palirose 22
Well, it is a prison and they DO have to be thorough and safe.
GodPart2 20
The real question is... Is OP a dude or a chick? Moobs alert!!
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Comments (83)
ariellove1992 8
Was it a male guard?
bradopotato 5
Maybe you only photoshopped one boob?
kiaora_fml 11
I was never searched when I visited a family member in a maximum security jail. We did however had to take off our shoes, were only aloud to wear 2 rings as a female, no piercings and had to send our shoes etc through the xray scanner and walk through a body scanner, and all visitors had to line up while sniffer dogs walked past and a double check on some days by wiping a tiny cloth on your skin and it was quickly checked for drugs. The only person I saw pulled aside was a girl that looked like a hooker, as there are dress codes. Parents were able to take in 2 nappies and 1 packet of wipes in a container that could be easily viewed. Yes they can search you if you look suspicious.
JoseIsAdork 31
I blame the bra companies, after all Victoria probably didn't have a secret for no reason.
ZY1431 24
the secret is that Victoria is a dude.
buckdharma 38
Was it an apple?
glitterkuro 18
I'm sorry that happened to you, OP. Searches can be a highly traumatic thing to go through. I've also had the same thing, not recently but a couple of years ago when I was a bit thinner. Not in the same situation, but somebody refusing to believe my chest was 'real'. But I did have what was considered a disproportionate chest compared to a pretty slim waist (G cups- and before somebody says I'm lucky, I'm really not. They cause a lot of back pain and pretty much every shop doesn't stock my bra size)
Nederlander95 14
Boo hoo, you have big ****. I feel sooo bad for you
Vnzlan_girl 10
awh maybe she was just jealous of your boobs
tishtashbat 16
Ok that's awkward, and not a nice thing to have pointed out. But I doubt they made a huge scene of shouting out 'You with the disproportionate breasts! Over here! Extra searches for you!'. I know from experience, everyone gets searched and scanned at least once. If they're suspicious, they have every right to complete further searches - they usually have posters up telling you it's for inmates safety/to prevent drug use. Also, to those saying it would be worse because guards etc are mostly male - every prison I have visited in the U.K. (4 I think) has a female officer conducting body searches of female visitors.
UsernameTaken14 18
Take that as a compliment! :P