Today, I was visiting a family member at a women's prison. The staff wanted to search me, basically claiming that my breasts looked suspiciously disproportionate, implying I was smuggling something in. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, "Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode." I was then strip searched for my trouble. FML
Today, I went to Safeway. The security guard wouldn't stop staring at my boobs. When I confronted him about it he told me that they looked fake and he was making sure I didn't stuff my bra with stolen items. FML
Today, I was once again mistaken for an escaped convict. I live near a women's correctional facility and apparently my nursing scrubs look a lot like their prisoners' uniforms. The cop made me late for work. FML
Today, while going through airport security the lady asked why I folded everything so small. I said that I was going away for a month and needed to fit a lot of stuff in only one bag. She smiled, nodded and then dumped my luggage to search for "drugs and other illegal teen things." FML
Today, I was going through airport security. As my bags were being scanned, I was told that I was selected for extra searching. Right as the security guard was about to frisk me, he froze up and asked me, "You're a male, right?" I am, and I used to think that it was obvious. FML
Today, I was leaving a clothing store when the security guard stopped me and demanded that I surrender the clothing I was "trying to steal" by hiding it under my shirt. It turns out, he was just looking at my pot belly. FML
Today, while shopping, I was grabbed and dragged off to a security room with no warning. Apparently, the way I was dressed and walking was suspicious. FML
Today, I was in India. At the airport, the men and women were being searched separately. The guy welcoming us pointed me towards the women's area. I had to explain to him that I was a guy. It took 15 minutes. FML
Today, as I was crossing to the US, I got pulled over by border patrol for looking "suspicious". The female cop searched my purse and found a condom. She smirked and said, "I doubt you'd ever need that." FML
Today, I was traveling. At airport security, the woman patting me down felt something "down there" and asked me what I was wearing. I told her it was a sanitary napkin. She put her hands inside my pants just to be sure. FML
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Top comments
Palirose 22
Well, it is a prison and they DO have to be thorough and safe.
GodPart2 20
The real question is... Is OP a dude or a chick? Moobs alert!!
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Comments (83)
spluver0005 17
At least you've got big boobs?
mnwlf13 3
boobs are dangerous weapons, they always get guys in trouble.
minesbiggerr 25
Or in the dictators case can destroy a shop
thatnucca 36
Would be hilarious if you were a man though... Wait, are you?
pickleOnABun 10
lets just hope you werent smuggling anything in...
awkwardloveannie 28
she was smuggling an Apple, they're dangerous now a days
nina739 10
well maybe they wanna touch ur breasts?;)
parism143 28
You don't say.
touch_phobia 13
ouch. I wish I could say something encouraging...
perdix 31
Today, I realized FML doesn't allow posters to submit photos to support their claims. FML.
Sports_guy3 28
There's a button for that.
perdix 31
#69, there's a button for a commenter's life sucks?
phatdaddy62 23
Hey Perdix, do you mean pictures or it didn't happen?
worldclassrager 41
Sure hope you don't have to take a flight soon...
awkwardloveannie 28
jack and Jill , its ok some women have awkward boobies but at least you have boobies
edanielleh 21
haha, i am sorry! I am sure they have that happen though so they have to check :/