Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML
Today, I was complimented on how big my penis was. I was complimented by the guy peeing next to me in the men's restroom at McDonald's. FML
Today, I went to dinner with my friend and his family. I went to the men's room at the same time as his father, and as we peed next to each other in adjacent urinals the father looked over at me and said, "Don't worry, I've seen smaller." FML
Today, my penis isn't so small that I pee on my balls. It's so small that it fits between the toilet and toilet seat, causing me to pee all over the floor full stream. FML
Today, my wife and I were with friends when she said that men who like guns all have tiny penises. "Seriously, even smaller than me!" I added, and only realized what I'd said when the laughter started. FML
Today, as I got out of the shower, my young stepson saw me naked. Later, he asked his mom why my "pee pee" is so small when everyone says it is supposed to get bigger when you become an adult. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML
Today, one of my dorm-mates started laughing at a bra hanging to dry in our bathroom. She thought it was hilarious that a college student would still have "such small, baby tits." It was my bra. FML
Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML
Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML
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Top comments
seppi24 1
say His ex Sent you a Picture of His Penis and thats Why you laughed
Blacksxe 1
Just say you're laughing at the fact your roommate is jealous of your size.
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Comments (136)
kjbirch7 0
lmao nice one
Freeze_fml 17
What an imagination he has there.
Cashtangoteam 10
I read this and laughed while on the toilet
raawrbabeeyx 4
Me too! Haha!
YayorNay 8
Me 5!!
scotter35 0
SAME
Mjwnenrjs 17
Me too!! Lol!
Mortoli 30
yeah im on toilet now lol
maskedman 9
He probably thought your penis was small because when you peed it all got on your balls. All of it.
Matt_Lord_Of_The 3
sounds like you are trying too hard to be funny..
dantee2005 33
Lol U seem to have some experience
mistersheezy 7
Hey there little fella!
perdix 31
Did you say that your dick is so small that even YOU laugh when you see it? I think you'd better stick to reading the FMLs, and leave the writing to those who can express themselves in English and have non-comical penises.
Matt_Lord_Of_The 3
you are as dumb as his small penis
THE_A_TEEN 28
Someone clearly has never met perdix before to understand his sarcasm...
perdix 31
No, it clearly says the OP laughs at his own miniscule, shrunken penis every time he sees it. I'm not dumb. I'm careful.
Matt_Lord_Of_The 3
in that case, disregard my last comment.
perdix 31
OK, I think I've got it. The roommate is going around telling everybody, "My roommate's penis is so small (How small is it?) . . . It's so small that even HE laughs at it every time he looks at it." See how punctuation makes the difference?
muzy 23
You should have stood your ground OP I mean come on, what's the worst that could have happen apart from having your face rearranged for being a twat ?
JinxosGirl87 0
Say that his love interest accidently texted you a naked pic of herself and you thought her small **** were hilarious.
rattusrattus 19
Small **** are AWESOME and sexy. Seriously. Bring me another small-breasted beauty, a riding crop, a dolphin-inspired double-headed ***** and a bottle of Buck's Fizz. Make sure she likes Jaws.
tona01 16
I don't understand why people love those giant ones, i don't like fake things, i prefer a girl that is all natural and happy with it.
MaryPoppins88 14
Bahahaha that's hilarious! On the bright side now you have a FML
THE_A_TEEN 28
Hilarious, but your roomie sucks ass. I just dont understand why people are so judgemental over how small your dick is....