Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML
Today, I was complimented on how big my penis was. I was complimented by the guy peeing next to me in the men's restroom at McDonald's. FML
Today, I went to dinner with my friend and his family. I went to the men's room at the same time as his father, and as we peed next to each other in adjacent urinals the father looked over at me and said, "Don't worry, I've seen smaller." FML
Today, my penis isn't so small that I pee on my balls. It's so small that it fits between the toilet and toilet seat, causing me to pee all over the floor full stream. FML
Today, my wife and I were with friends when she said that men who like guns all have tiny penises. "Seriously, even smaller than me!" I added, and only realized what I'd said when the laughter started. FML
Today, as I got out of the shower, my young stepson saw me naked. Later, he asked his mom why my "pee pee" is so small when everyone says it is supposed to get bigger when you become an adult. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML
Today, one of my dorm-mates started laughing at a bra hanging to dry in our bathroom. She thought it was hilarious that a college student would still have "such small, baby tits." It was my bra. FML
Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML
Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML
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Top comments
seppi24 1
say His ex Sent you a Picture of His Penis and thats Why you laughed
Blacksxe 1
Just say you're laughing at the fact your roommate is jealous of your size.
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Comments (136)
vincentmacmanus 8
Fun fact: im using the toilet as i comment on this and as i read it. xD
KhronicSmoke 2
Me too!!! I think we all do that xD!!!!
drloves69 4
tell your roomie you where talking to his mom and she asked if her :embarising nickname: is behaving
abbanator 0
aw thats sad but still a little funny
david95347 2
Just tell every one that it's like a baby........ 8 pounds 21 inches and you found it kind of ironic and laughed.
wowthatsfunny00 0
Lol that's funny.
ILoveTabz 0
I read FML on the toilet all the time! I'm on it as we speak ;)
DDpandaz 0
You're breaking the fourth wall!
herponi 2
Too funny!
kuytsgoldenlocks 1
That's classy of you?
sj96 0
Hahahahaha that's hilarious!! Gave me a good laugh. I feel bad for you though.