Today, I was traveling home with my four-year-old son. While we were standing in line at the security checkpoint, I hear the sound of water dripping and turned to find my son urinating on the floor. He'd read a sign that said we weren't allowed to take any liquids with us. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in a busy airport bathroom with my three year-old son. While in the process of pulling my pants down, my son decided to open the stall door. I jumped up to yank the door closed, but not before the line of waiting women saw me with my pants wrapped around my ankles. FML
Today, I was on a long road trip with my son. He had to pee, and told him he had to wait till I could stop the car. He started counting backwards from 10. I couldn't stop in time. FML
Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out of the toilet. FML
Today, after reading a sign at the airport, my 6-year-old son thought it would be funny to yell, "Daddy's got a bomb!" Airport security then tackled me to the ground. Oh, and I missed my flight and my mother's birthday. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML
Today, I was in a public restroom with my one-year old. I had no idea he could reach the lock until he opened the door and ran out. In my haste to catch him, I not only peed all over my pants that were still around my ankles, I faceplanted on the nasty, moist bathroom floor. FML
Today, I was supposed to catch a 4:40 flight to New York. My 5 year-old son handed me my carry on bag as I left the house. Turns out he had put his older brother's BB gun into my bag to "keep me safe." I missed my flight after I was detained and strip-searched. FML
Today, while in the airport waiting to board, I got the sudden urge to pee, so I ran to the bathroom feeling like my bladder was about to burst. I was so focused on relieving my bladder that I failed to notice the diarrhea covering the toilet seat and the wall behind it until I was sitting in it. FML
Today, my 3-year-old son decided to pull down his pants and pee outside as our local city's parade had just started marching down the street. FML
Today, while on a family Disney World vacation, I saw a kid shitting on a public bathroom floor. It was my kid. He's 10. FML
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Top comments
FalloutScrolls 25
4 year old who can read, though! Go you!
redcode5 17
That is pretty funny, guess this is going to be one of the embarrassing stories you will remember and tell many.
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Comments (29)
celestialphoenix 9
Smart kid.
CastaP 12
"Well, sir, the sign clearly says that NO LIQUIDS ALLOWED ON BOARD! I'm simply complying the best I can; you know, being a 4 year old and whatnot!"
band_geek 18
As much as it sucks for you, you do have to realize that it's your FOUR YEAR OLD KID. At least he can read full sentences, and at least he has understanding of what the word "liquid" is since some kids don't understand that word until at bare minimum of first grade (7 years of age). Be grateful for other things rather than focusing on the bad - ESPECIALLY when it comes to a kid as young as yours.
NuttyProfessor 7
Toddlers are so literal LOL
Nirah_fml 18
I came to the comments to see how many idiots would try to claim that a four-year-old can't read. I was pleasantly surprised to see there's only one so far.
massive_kaos 14
Very comprehensive for a 4 year old!
mattrd_fml 31
Look on the bright side, your son can read at only 4 years old! Smart cookie!
alicelouise66 5
your four year old son reads signs???