Today, I was traveling home with my four-year-old son. While we were standing in line at the security checkpoint, I hear the sound of water dripping and turned to find my son urinating on the floor. He'd read a sign that said we weren't allowed to take any liquids with us. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in a busy airport bathroom with my three year-old son. While in the process of pulling my pants down, my son decided to open the stall door. I jumped up to yank the door closed, but not before the line of waiting women saw me with my pants wrapped around my ankles. FML
Today, I was on a long road trip with my son. He had to pee, and told him he had to wait till I could stop the car. He started counting backwards from 10. I couldn't stop in time. FML
Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out of the toilet. FML
Today, after reading a sign at the airport, my 6-year-old son thought it would be funny to yell, "Daddy's got a bomb!" Airport security then tackled me to the ground. Oh, and I missed my flight and my mother's birthday. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML
Today, I was in a public restroom with my one-year old. I had no idea he could reach the lock until he opened the door and ran out. In my haste to catch him, I not only peed all over my pants that were still around my ankles, I faceplanted on the nasty, moist bathroom floor. FML
Today, I was supposed to catch a 4:40 flight to New York. My 5 year-old son handed me my carry on bag as I left the house. Turns out he had put his older brother's BB gun into my bag to "keep me safe." I missed my flight after I was detained and strip-searched. FML
Today, while in the airport waiting to board, I got the sudden urge to pee, so I ran to the bathroom feeling like my bladder was about to burst. I was so focused on relieving my bladder that I failed to notice the diarrhea covering the toilet seat and the wall behind it until I was sitting in it. FML
Today, my 3-year-old son decided to pull down his pants and pee outside as our local city's parade had just started marching down the street. FML
Today, while on a family Disney World vacation, I saw a kid shitting on a public bathroom floor. It was my kid. He's 10. FML
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Top comments
FalloutScrolls 25
4 year old who can read, though! Go you!
redcode5 17
That is pretty funny, guess this is going to be one of the embarrassing stories you will remember and tell many.
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Comments (29)
ClitasaurusRex 3
I would have smacked the shit out of him. you would have thought by that age he would be potty trained.
cootiequeen4444 11
jeez, take it down a notch. or twelve. child abuse is not okay. nor is physical abuse of any kind okay. And he may very well be potty trained. He technically peed in public rather than wet his pants. I feel there was control there, just a misunderstanding based on the sigh the kid read. which by the way I'd a fear in itself. I couldn't really read until around the first grade aka 6 years old. And I struggled to excel with until like the third or fourth grade. So while the lack of sense that pee8ng in public is bad.. especially public buildings, the kids intentions were to do good...I mean.. he's 4. Not like 8 or something. Give the kid a break. sheesh.
tounces7 28
Spoken like someone who doesn't have kids. He obviously is potty trained, or it wouldn't have been an issue because he'd be wearing a diaper.
samwilliams800 28
How about we smack you?
DrChrisOfWumbo 12
Discipline does not equal abuse. I'm not advocating beating children or anything. It's the mentality of it. All you really have to do is tap them. But the threat of you doing it again will make them stop and think. If you're leaving bruises or any type of mark you're doing it way wrong. There's no reason to ever hurt a child, but scaring them into obedience is a totally different tactic
xxmollyxx 25
I had to laugh at you thinking "scaring them into obedience" is okay, 23, even though it isn't funny at all.
DoomedGemini 38
Whether you believe in spanking or not, this is no reason for it! The child had a misunderstanding and thought this was what he was supposed to do. Simply explaining to him would fix the issue. Please don't have children of you would "slap the shit" out of a child, especially one who just made a mistake.
jmac85 5
He's 4. He can't read...sorry
r83839 22
I was a fluent reader at age 3. It's called homeschooling.
wier0901 1
How would you know? Every kid is different.
Nirah_fml 18
My nephew could read by the age of 2. He didn't speak for a long time but we knew he COULD speak (and simply chose not to) because we would hear him sounding out words to himself when he read. He will be turning 4 in April and I have seen him actively trying to teaching his 1-year-old sister to read as well. He can read because we taught him to. If a kid doesn't learn to read until they go to school, it's usually because their parents haven't bothered to sit down and teach them.
SargeRho 6
The kid's going places.
tjpr314 8
Lol
torrea 19
Only 4 and he already reads and obeys signs. Wow, well not quite understands them.
formulad90 3
well he isn't wrong
Konarika 11
Wow, FYL. Your son is a smartass. :D
DrChrisOfWumbo 12
At least he didn't realize blood is a liquid...
SpaceToast 25
But he was also able to read the sign, understand that urine a liquid, and deduce that he carries that urine within himself. Congrats on your genius kid!! :D
samlovesham1234 9
Kid logic strikes again!