Today, my boyfriend decided he would do his job while I did my "job" on top of him. He whips out his Blackberry and completely ignores me to send e-mails to co-workers reminding them about the 10 a.m. meeting scheduled for the next morning. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I emailed my boyfriend from work. Out of habit, I absent-mindedly entered my department into the "From" field. My boyfriend didn't notice when he replied. Now my entire department knows I want to "drop to my knees and suck him when I get home." And he plans to "finish on my face." FML
Today, I was video chatting my boyfriend. As we were talking, he answered a phone call. I sat there the whole time as he planned a date with some other girl over the phone. FML
Today, my boyfriend called work because he is sick. Then he called me four times while I was working, to complain that I was working, and then he got mad when I told him I was sick and worked a double shift two days in a row, because apparently that's "insensitive" of me. FML
Today, when my boyfriend came over he was on his phone. We spent about 15 minutes together before having sex, then he made a phone call and said he had to leave. I could hear him from my window apologising to his coworker because he “just had to do something real quick but was now free to talk again.” FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to visit me at work. With another girl. FML
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep during phone sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were talking on the phone, and things got a little heated. We were in the middle of some kinky dialog, complete with hand action when he suddenly goes silent. While waiting for a response, I heard typing on the other end. He was checking his email. FML
Today, my boyfriend took me on a romantic weekend away at a hotel. What is he doing now? On his computer looking up stuff on Craigslist while I am watching t.v. alone. FML
Today, my boyfriend forgot to pick me up from work. We work at the same place. FML
Today, I was having lunch with my boyfriend and talking about how stressed out I've been because of my job. While I'm speaking, he pulls out his phone and says his boss is texting him and it was important. There was a game of Tetris reflecting onto his glasses from his phone. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
suppressed08 2
lol! this man can multitask. normal mortals would be impressed
ArtIsResistance7 1
Lol at #1. 2 fails. Pfft, yeaaah right. That's the excuse he uses to take pictures of you for his work buddies.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (102)
suppressed08 2
lol! this man can multitask. normal mortals would be impressed
Pleasure_Pirate 0
1, I can't tell if you're a dude or a chick, and it's really bugging me.
suppressed08 2
click on my name. look at my profile. it says 'mr'. It REALLY isn't hard guys. though if you're on an iPod I take it back:P
tweetbaby14 18
I'm getting the feeling you weren't that good OP
xXLenaXx 0
Ok, ONE MORE FML ABOUT AN ASSHOLE PARTNER ASSHOLEDLY REJECTING THE POOR, POOR OP FOR SEXYTIME, AND I WILL EXPLODE ALL OVER THE FML INDUSTRY AND PERHAPS THE WORLD.
LK4D4 0
he could have been snapping pics and lied about the texting.
TaylorTotsYumm 10
4, I can't tell if you're a dude or a chick, and it's really bugging me.
LMFAOwned 9
Lol Taylor I don't think 4 was trying to be mean... I get his point. 4 is obviously a guy tho...
gabbster95 0
someone has to pay the bills
abcdefghijKayla 0
well, meetings are very important in the business world, op. and 11 is soooo right !
HandOfClod 0
14- I can't tell if I'm a boy or a girl, and it's really bugging you!
TaylorTotsYumm 10
16, I know but it's still pretty rude of him. :P 20, oh lawdy. Please tell me. It's killing me.D:
HandOfClod 0
Wait.. Yeah I'm a guy! So don't die! :P
TaylorTotsYumm 10
I lied. I wasn't dying.(:
Pleasure_Pirate 0
22, Give me some of your tots.
HeroOfMi 0
14! I was going to say that! second time in 2 days people on here beat me to stuff..I need to be more original...
twinny_sc 13
Quit complaining you should have just stopped...duh
jweezy89 4
Congrats OP, you have just lowered the bar ten whole feet for women by admitting that it is your "job" to have sex with him. All the trolls will be salivating over this one. Let the barefoot and pregnant women jokes start. . . Wait for it. . . wait for it. . . Now.
falluke17 0
the website if fml... not "only fmls that haven't happened to anyone else because we don't want people to b*tch"...
ColetteL 4
Sounds like her b/f is from the cast of Jersey Shore or something..wait, nvm it said he had a business meeting.
katplayer 4
Why would you continue? If he's not participating, it's just jerking off anyway. I would've stopped and gotten out my vibrator.
lky830 0
agreed with 11. it's called not being in the mood. it happens sometimes. no reason to get butt hurt about it.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
The "job" OP was referring to was a *******. You can tell she didn't mean it as an actual responsibility or obligation because she put the word in quotes. -.-
peedxdxdx 0
4 I can't tell if your a dude or a chick
ChocolateTazer 0
11-You realize you might destroy the internet.
MeAlec 1
quit your bitching he has a job to do
epicenur 2
#4 and #9 you both need haircuts cause that's like a mop for a head
priscilla_28 5
How Courteous of him. I can only imagine anniversary night, does he bring out the PSP? Maybe have a little fun with the Wii? Totally inapt.
ladiesman14 0
guys ask your girl to go down while you are driving. thats the best. read the book CARma sutra for more tips.
comedychick 1
k well you seem like a drama queen get over it you don't need all the attention
dickster 0
I bet you get lots of men with you're looks, #4. It's people like you that make me hate America, Obama included .
yaneliee 0
What does OP mean?(:
yaneliee 0
What does OP mean?(:
Dixbfloppin 11
Orgasmic Peaches
xine10 0
u should try that when he's initiating..
MrSassypants 34
come on people let's make #2 feel bad by saying he fails!
Pleasure_Pirate 0
5, Is your name Mr. Sassy Pants, or Mrs. Assy Pants?
huggi09 0
6 that made me lol good point so which is it 5??
DocBastard 40
Mr. Pirate, you win one Internet for that. Well played, sir.
MrSassypants 34
Mr. Sassypants I get that a lot now should've gone with noname but noname took my name wait that's better! "NoNameTookMyName"
DarkHelmet 10
that is sad OP... if that's the case u need to watch some pornos and step your sex game up. If a man is able to multitask doing his job and sexing you at the same time you must be TERRIBLE!!!!
violetsweety 26
lmao well dayuuum >_<
ArtIsResistance7 1
Lol at #1. 2 fails. Pfft, yeaaah right. That's the excuse he uses to take pictures of you for his work buddies.
MutsuLayfon 0
Thats Genius :o
WiseGuy79 14
That's just sad Either you're pathetic in bed or your bf is a douche Or maybe its both haha
zachjack 0
1is a super ugly chick
hysterical 1
if it bothers you so much, then say something about it.
DocBastard 40
Pirate, you win one Internet for that.
navywife_carrie 0
Haha my husband tried that shit once I grabbed his iPhone and threatened to throw it. Never has done it again!
silverskin 1
I would probably tell him that I can play with machines, too. And he can enjoy taking care of business on his own.
Lipsforbiting 7
Well that sucks. D:
perdix 31
It probably reminded him that at the meeting, everyone has to suck his dick, too! That's thinking . . . like a BAWS!
xXLenaXx 0
Kudos there, man.