Today, I was told the Mandarin greeting that my new Chinese friends at school taught me was not really a greeting at all. I've been proclaiming "I'm a dumb bitch" every time I've greeted them, almost every day for the past month. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was asked to prove that I was Chinese by translating the phrase, "Ching chong ming chang ho". I'm not even Chinese. FML
Today, I found out that the loving nickname my Chinese mother has been calling me my entire life essentially translates to "little retard". FML
Today, at a tutoring center, one of the tutors looked at my worksheet and laughed. She then showed all the other tutors my mistakes and they laughed along with her. The best part? They all speak Chinese and they think I can't understand them. I'm Chinese. FML
Today, I found out that I’ve been greeting a coworker by the wrong name for six weeks. The worst part? They never corrected me because they thought it was funny, especially because it turns out to be their mom's name. FML
Today, I found out that the nickname my friend has been calling me in Japanese for the past year is the word for "Idiot". FML
Today, I was trying to get my girlfriend to speak Mandarin. After speaking her first words and taking a break, she posted on Facebook: "I speak ching chong! :D :D :D" FML
Today, I was instructed by my boss to welcome the 2 new foreign business partners since I am the only one who could speak their language. When they arrived I greeted them in their language. One of them scratched his head and asked his companion in plain and clear English, "What did he say?" FML
Today, I've learned two things. One, my Chinese cousins don't know much about the USA, and two, they now believe it's proper manners to shout, "FREEEEDOM" before ending a call with me. FML
Today, I was eating at a Chinese restaurant, when I stopped the waitress to tell her that even though I am of Chinese heritage, I can't understand a word of Chinese. After an awkward silence, she told me she was actually speaking English. FML
Today, my new boss sat me down and told me he's seriously reconsidering my hire, all because I greeted him with, "Howdy, boss!" instead of, "Good morning, sir." Apparently this indicates a lack of respect for his authority. FML
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Top comments
jessimica642 8
Lol that's so mean, but funny
Minna_fml 14
Then say nothing at all.
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Comments (204)
LeCommentator 1
Wo shi ge Chou San ba? That's probably what you said. Or could it be wo shi ge Jian nü?
Kibaruto 33
Well, you are a dumb bitch then. I always look up words I'm taught in other languages, to avoid stuff like this.
crazyskillz122 0
O u mad
THE_A_TEEN 28
Yes I'm mad! I'M SOOO ******* MAD! I'M HULK MAD!! **** EVERYONE ON EARTH, **** YOU! A_TEEN MAD!!!
memyselfandI07 1
Haha mean friends you got there
kayleebearr 6
clearly they are not your friends
pagullarka 9
It's nice that you still call them your friends :)
HahaYDI 0
Ni hao! :D
lazypopo 0
Ni hao ma?
mosquito19 14
?????
klorehore 24
now learn how to say "you're a bunch of assholes" and greet them with that instead. After what they've done they kinda deserve the same treatment ;)
challan 19
Suck on these little Chinese nuts would be better
lazypopo 0
It happens a lot to people who want to learn new phrases in a different language (sometimes I would do it to people who want to learn Khmer.) But to say "hi/hello" in mandarin is "ni hao" and no I'm not trying to dupe you. I'm starting to teach myself mandarin through computer programs and websites.
misskelskels 0
Knee hoe!!