Today, I was told the Mandarin greeting that my new Chinese friends at school taught me was not really a greeting at all. I've been proclaiming "I'm a dumb bitch" every time I've greeted them, almost every day for the past month. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was asked to prove that I was Chinese by translating the phrase, "Ching chong ming chang ho". I'm not even Chinese. FML
Today, I found out that the loving nickname my Chinese mother has been calling me my entire life essentially translates to "little retard". FML
Today, at a tutoring center, one of the tutors looked at my worksheet and laughed. She then showed all the other tutors my mistakes and they laughed along with her. The best part? They all speak Chinese and they think I can't understand them. I'm Chinese. FML
Today, I found out that I’ve been greeting a coworker by the wrong name for six weeks. The worst part? They never corrected me because they thought it was funny, especially because it turns out to be their mom's name. FML
Today, I found out that the nickname my friend has been calling me in Japanese for the past year is the word for "Idiot". FML
Today, I was trying to get my girlfriend to speak Mandarin. After speaking her first words and taking a break, she posted on Facebook: "I speak ching chong! :D :D :D" FML
Today, I was instructed by my boss to welcome the 2 new foreign business partners since I am the only one who could speak their language. When they arrived I greeted them in their language. One of them scratched his head and asked his companion in plain and clear English, "What did he say?" FML
Today, I've learned two things. One, my Chinese cousins don't know much about the USA, and two, they now believe it's proper manners to shout, "FREEEEDOM" before ending a call with me. FML
Today, I was eating at a Chinese restaurant, when I stopped the waitress to tell her that even though I am of Chinese heritage, I can't understand a word of Chinese. After an awkward silence, she told me she was actually speaking English. FML
Today, my new boss sat me down and told me he's seriously reconsidering my hire, all because I greeted him with, "Howdy, boss!" instead of, "Good morning, sir." Apparently this indicates a lack of respect for his authority. FML
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Top comments
jessimica642 8
Lol that's so mean, but funny
Minna_fml 14
Then say nothing at all.
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Comments (204)
moviegirl6 5
It could've been worse. They could've taught you to ask for sex instead. :)
cathyfang1533 12
That wouldn't have worked as well because the slang for sex in Chinese is chao fang which translates to cooking rice...so when you say I want to have sex with you, it comes out as wo shiang gung ni chao fang...I want to cook rice with you.
taytaylal 11
Great friends they are...
reddudeover 2
I didn't read your profile... I'm already stalking rubberduckie anyway.
Needafarm 22
maybe google translate would have prevented this, or rosetta stone.
dc4 12
What does rosetta stone have to do with translations?
dc4 12
So buy $300 software to find out how to say hello? All I'm saying is that there are easier ways
br0ccoli 15
Next time, check online to check what you're saying. I know someone who told a girl "you have huge ****" in her language when all he wanted to say was "you're beautiful." If you don't check, you will get trolled.
PrimeEvilTahir 24
Isn't 'you have huge ****' just an analogy for 'beautiful' ;-)
Il_Maestro 6
No it's usually just another way of saying "I believe women are sex objects" or "I understand that you are never going to have sex with me."
eatthemcows 4
YDI dumb bitch
THE_A_TEEN 28
Woah, was "dumb bitch" even necessary?
CallMeMcFeelii 14
They must of known you were really, just a dumb bitch.
daffyduck16 25
Some friends :/
buildajay 4
Lmao I'm sorry but that's funny
challan 19
I know! That's exactly like something I would do. Now the FML world will hate me... ;)
vocaloidtiger 12
Stop saying she/he deserves it.. I mean, it's not like she/he knew. She probably trusted them.. /:
nofearjenshere 12
How dare you call me that?!