Today, I was told the Mandarin greeting that my new Chinese friends at school taught me was not really a greeting at all. I've been proclaiming "I'm a dumb bitch" every time I've greeted them, almost every day for the past month. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was asked to prove that I was Chinese by translating the phrase, "Ching chong ming chang ho". I'm not even Chinese. FML
Today, I found out that the loving nickname my Chinese mother has been calling me my entire life essentially translates to "little retard". FML
Today, at a tutoring center, one of the tutors looked at my worksheet and laughed. She then showed all the other tutors my mistakes and they laughed along with her. The best part? They all speak Chinese and they think I can't understand them. I'm Chinese. FML
Today, I found out that I’ve been greeting a coworker by the wrong name for six weeks. The worst part? They never corrected me because they thought it was funny, especially because it turns out to be their mom's name. FML
Today, I found out that the nickname my friend has been calling me in Japanese for the past year is the word for "Idiot". FML
Today, I was trying to get my girlfriend to speak Mandarin. After speaking her first words and taking a break, she posted on Facebook: "I speak ching chong! :D :D :D" FML
Today, I was instructed by my boss to welcome the 2 new foreign business partners since I am the only one who could speak their language. When they arrived I greeted them in their language. One of them scratched his head and asked his companion in plain and clear English, "What did he say?" FML
Today, I've learned two things. One, my Chinese cousins don't know much about the USA, and two, they now believe it's proper manners to shout, "FREEEEDOM" before ending a call with me. FML
Today, I was eating at a Chinese restaurant, when I stopped the waitress to tell her that even though I am of Chinese heritage, I can't understand a word of Chinese. After an awkward silence, she told me she was actually speaking English. FML
Today, my new boss sat me down and told me he's seriously reconsidering my hire, all because I greeted him with, "Howdy, boss!" instead of, "Good morning, sir." Apparently this indicates a lack of respect for his authority. FML
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Top comments
jessimica642 8
Lol that's so mean, but funny
Minna_fml 14
Then say nothing at all.
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Comments (204)
AwsumShyGuy 12
If you learned it via online, chances are either you got trolled or /b/.
OkitaCockroach 19
You didn't notice the weird stares you must've gotten? "Hello," "I'm a dumb bitch!"
OkitaCockroach 19
Oh I've misread the FML XD
tropicalkisser 0
That's why I just learn it from google translate cause people would take advantage and make you sound stupid lol :P
BarakatsBurrito 7
People edit google translate.
owo_fml 9
Most of the time, using translators for short phrases like "hello" or "happy birthday" should be fine. I wouldn't rely on them for anything more than that, though, because the grammar is generally terrible, or nonexistent rather.
reddudeover 2
Warning the following comment is pointless and stupid reader discretion is advised. We here at acme comments are not responsible for: any IQ points lost, bleeding eyeballs/ blindness, child abuse, rape, death cults, abortions, or suicide attempts that may occur as a result of reading this comment. You have been warned. You can talk to oranges?
BarakatsBurrito 7
I'd thumbs up this a million times if I could
Eiregal2 10
I prefer the company of apples, they have a broader cast of characters and race.
perdix 31
That's a great greeting! It lets people know what they are dealing with when they meet you. They'll talk slowly and be ready to be stung by your bitchy attitude. Forewarned is forearmed!
Eiregal2 10
sunny with a bit of cloud
Eiregal2 10
that is so embarrassing! something like this happened to me in another way.I thought I was being bad ass at 18 getting my first tattoo of a Chinese zodiac symbol for the ox. my Chinese friend saw it after and informed me I now permanently have soup tattooed on my shoulder. I'm older and wiser now and have ten tattoos. no more Chinese ones though lol
reddudeover 2
Get "is delicious tattooed" right next to it... what? It's true. :D
Devin91 20
Lololol your a dumb bitch.
THE_A_TEEN 28
YOU'RE a moron. Please pay a total of $25 to A_TEEN Industries. A_TEEN Industries, helping people since 1994.
mvems 13
I think that's pretty epic. And you basically proved them right by repeatedly saying it over and over. Just kidding poor girl this is something that would happen to me...except it won't because it happened to you. :)
MarisaCB 16
You probably should have checked. I don't blame you for trusting them, but if they're your friends you should be careful!
pagullarka 9
# 55 were you doing dishes when someone took this picture, or you starting a new trend like Michael Jackson. :)