Today, I was told the Mandarin greeting that my new Chinese friends at school taught me was not really a greeting at all. I've been proclaiming "I'm a dumb bitch" every time I've greeted them, almost every day for the past month. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was asked to prove that I was Chinese by translating the phrase, "Ching chong ming chang ho". I'm not even Chinese. FML
Today, I found out that the loving nickname my Chinese mother has been calling me my entire life essentially translates to "little retard". FML
Today, at a tutoring center, one of the tutors looked at my worksheet and laughed. She then showed all the other tutors my mistakes and they laughed along with her. The best part? They all speak Chinese and they think I can't understand them. I'm Chinese. FML
Today, I found out that I’ve been greeting a coworker by the wrong name for six weeks. The worst part? They never corrected me because they thought it was funny, especially because it turns out to be their mom's name. FML
Today, I found out that the nickname my friend has been calling me in Japanese for the past year is the word for "Idiot". FML
Today, I was trying to get my girlfriend to speak Mandarin. After speaking her first words and taking a break, she posted on Facebook: "I speak ching chong! :D :D :D" FML
Today, I was instructed by my boss to welcome the 2 new foreign business partners since I am the only one who could speak their language. When they arrived I greeted them in their language. One of them scratched his head and asked his companion in plain and clear English, "What did he say?" FML
Today, I've learned two things. One, my Chinese cousins don't know much about the USA, and two, they now believe it's proper manners to shout, "FREEEEDOM" before ending a call with me. FML
Today, I was eating at a Chinese restaurant, when I stopped the waitress to tell her that even though I am of Chinese heritage, I can't understand a word of Chinese. After an awkward silence, she told me she was actually speaking English. FML
Today, my new boss sat me down and told me he's seriously reconsidering my hire, all because I greeted him with, "Howdy, boss!" instead of, "Good morning, sir." Apparently this indicates a lack of respect for his authority. FML
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Top comments
jessimica642 8
Lol that's so mean, but funny
Minna_fml 14
Then say nothing at all.
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Comments (204)
ImaginaryFoe 1
I did a similar thing once when asked by a new classmate to "say something in your language - it sounds so cute" and "it's amazing that even Chinese kids can speak that sing-songy language". I'm not Chinese. Being a new kid in a foreign place is difficult and full of daily annoyances. Forgive, forget, and have a friendship do-over. Or tell them to **** off in the language of your choice. Whatever you do, get over it.
misshighjinks 5
They're not your friends...
uy_fml 4
Some friends they are.
purplepenquin 9
Don't beat yourself up too bad...at least you didn't get it tattooed!
ohsheet 8
Look up "You're a dumb bitch" and go tell them that next time you see them
OFWGKTADGAF666 6
...friends?
rightspark 7
With friends like that who needs enemies. Anyway you should have look up what you were saying before saying it, can't trust anyone nowadays
geniusfreddy 1
did you say something like 'wo shi sha bi'?
Random951 12
My life is ruined because my friends told me a saying in Mandarin that isn't what they told me it meant. Even though they are the only ones that can understand what I'm saying, my life is still destroyed because of this event. /sarcasm
hockey0429 4
Nice friends you got. If you're not in china then at least no one else laughed at you for calling yourself that