Today, I was told the Mandarin greeting that my new Chinese friends at school taught me was not really a greeting at all. I've been proclaiming "I'm a dumb bitch" every time I've greeted them, almost every day for the past month. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was asked to prove that I was Chinese by translating the phrase, "Ching chong ming chang ho". I'm not even Chinese. FML
Today, I found out that the loving nickname my Chinese mother has been calling me my entire life essentially translates to "little retard". FML
Today, at a tutoring center, one of the tutors looked at my worksheet and laughed. She then showed all the other tutors my mistakes and they laughed along with her. The best part? They all speak Chinese and they think I can't understand them. I'm Chinese. FML
Today, I found out that I’ve been greeting a coworker by the wrong name for six weeks. The worst part? They never corrected me because they thought it was funny, especially because it turns out to be their mom's name. FML
Today, I found out that the nickname my friend has been calling me in Japanese for the past year is the word for "Idiot". FML
Today, I was trying to get my girlfriend to speak Mandarin. After speaking her first words and taking a break, she posted on Facebook: "I speak ching chong! :D :D :D" FML
Today, I was instructed by my boss to welcome the 2 new foreign business partners since I am the only one who could speak their language. When they arrived I greeted them in their language. One of them scratched his head and asked his companion in plain and clear English, "What did he say?" FML
Today, I've learned two things. One, my Chinese cousins don't know much about the USA, and two, they now believe it's proper manners to shout, "FREEEEDOM" before ending a call with me. FML
Today, I was eating at a Chinese restaurant, when I stopped the waitress to tell her that even though I am of Chinese heritage, I can't understand a word of Chinese. After an awkward silence, she told me she was actually speaking English. FML
Today, my new boss sat me down and told me he's seriously reconsidering my hire, all because I greeted him with, "Howdy, boss!" instead of, "Good morning, sir." Apparently this indicates a lack of respect for his authority. FML
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Top comments
jessimica642 8
Lol that's so mean, but funny
Minna_fml 14
Then say nothing at all.
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Comments (204)
Shades99 1
lol
neuroticallyyour_fml 17
To all the people saying she deserves it for not going online and using a translator, I'm currently taking my foreign language sequence for school and my professor made it explicitly clear that online translators are extremely flawed and put you at risk of saying things such as OP had been saying because they are so flawed. So long story short, an online translator might just make OP look even worse.
dc4 12
Online translators are usually only wrong for when translating sentences, not single words. I doubt a translator could mess up a simple greeting so badly.
peacefully84 19
You should find out how to say "You're an asshole" and use that to greet them instead!
marramrammar 2
Learn something that insults them in Chinese. Like your all b's, and say it to them daily. Act naive and say it daily- saying you were told that is the proper response. Then say I can't wait to meet your parents and use it! ;-)
Blaqkeyeliner 6
Ha, don't feel so bad OP. When I moved to the US I didn't speak a lick of English and was befriended with a bunch of hooligans that taught me "**** you, bitch" after being sent to the principles office my first day at my new school in a new country I realized that that wasn't a very polite greeting.
Blaqkeyeliner 6
Absolutely! I took my teachers cellphone when she wasn't looking and put it in one of the bullies backpack :P she got caught and wasn't allowed to go on any field trips for the entire year. :D I waived from the bus as she was stuck watching movies with the smelly P.E teacher.
Blaqkeyeliner 6
It was a dog eat dog world in Elementary school hahahah :P
vbmg152 19
You learned a lesson! Never repeat anything in a language you don't know unless you've looked it up! I think it's funny & YDI!!!
KMtheDrummer 6
I don't even know what it says but I thumbed it up
superswagbro 7
Well i thumbed it down to counter you.^
Zachthejoker 10
Clever Asians, haha
wlddog 14
Teach your new friends how to say "Love you long time, $5 sucky sucky." in Suomi. (Suomi is what the Finnish speak for you readers)