Today, I was eating at a Chinese restaurant, when I stopped the waitress to tell her that even though I am of Chinese heritage, I can't understand a word of Chinese. After an awkward silence, she told me she was actually speaking English. FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at a restaurant and confidently ordered in what I thought was fluent French. The waiter stared at me for a second, then responded in perfect English, "Dude, this is an Italian restaurant." FML
Today, I was at a restaurant with some friends, trying to be cultured by ordering in French. I confidently said to the waiter, “Je voudrais le poulet, s'il vous plaît.” The waiter stared at me and said, “Sir, this is a Chinese restaurant.” FML
Today, I went to see the school counselor to schedule my classes for school. She asked me if I knew how to speak English. My parents are Chinese and I don't even know how to speak Chinese. I've lived in America my whole life. Plus, I even spoke to her in English to ask about classes. FML
Today, I was on a date in a fancy restaurant. I tried to show off my skills by ordering our meal in French, since some of the dishes had french-sounding names. The waiter replied in fluent French and I have no idea what he said. FML
Today, I was unable to communicate with a customer who only spoke French. As a result, my boss called me a "monolingual idiot." I speak Spanish, German, and Japanese. FML
Today, I went to a drive through with my housemate. She got our order wrong and angrily yelled at the teenager who handed us our food, making her cry. My housemate can't fully speak English because of a learning disability, and she refuses to admit it. FML
Today, I was asked to prove that I was Chinese by translating the phrase, "Ching chong ming chang ho". I'm not even Chinese. FML
Today, as a waitress at Denny's, I had a 25 top table. Only 3 of them spoke English. FML
Today, at a tutoring center, one of the tutors looked at my worksheet and laughed. She then showed all the other tutors my mistakes and they laughed along with her. The best part? They all speak Chinese and they think I can't understand them. I'm Chinese. FML
Today, I was holding the door open for a friend. She told me to wait a second because she had to finish a text. Nearly a minute passed before I asked why she wouldn't come inside to finish typing. We were at a Chinese restaurant. She thought the "No MSG" sign meant you couldn't text inside. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
Apparently you can't understand English either. Did you have to use a translator for this FML?
SmokeyBear420 19
lol bad accent?
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Comments (84)
Aky0n 10
what made you think she only spoke chinese?
dilssaaa 6
I'm sure OPs waitress probably had an accent and it must been hard to understand her.
HopelesslyCiara5 19
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
OP was just talking to the waitress, it's the waitress who's dumb for assuming she thought she was speaking Chinese..
CommentModerated 17
Give that one more read, 24
Freethaawave 19
OP got confused when the waitress told her their daily special, the Cream of SumYungGuy.
jazzy_123 20
hey people make mistakes! I once heard a joke about a waitress asking a man "soup or salad?" but he thought she was saying "super salad" so he kept saying yes... ever since then I think waiters ask me "super salad" and I feel really dumb haha
micgelleya 15
At least OP understood the second sentence!
SuperStormCindy 8
I wish I could vote this up multiple times...
HKCgrimmjow 15
36, that wasn't a joke I'm pretty sure that was a 2013 FML maybe early 2013. Either way I remember seeing it as an FML
LalaDee561 8
71, the Super salad thing IS a joke. I heard it a LONG time ago and it made me think of the same thing when ever I was asked "soup or salad?“ I'm pretty sure it was an FML too.
jazzy_123 20
See I knew it! Thank you 73 for backing me up! x)
The_Big_Boss 20
... You're dumb
rg350dx 29
Wow. That's not very nice. You don't even know me.
cyttex 13
Not understanding someone who more than likely has a thick accent does not make you "dumb".
colton_colton 50
How is her not understanding an accent being dumb?
SmokeyBear420 19
lol bad accent?
Love_Confidently 2
I'm guessing not, since she understood when she was told that it was English that was being spoken. :')
kuzzy00 22
I'm from New Zealand. 1/3 of out population in Auckland City are Chinese. I've been around them all my life. There's never an accent in Chinese too hard to understand. One just has to listen intently and ask the speaker to slow down. It's the fault with many foreign people; once they think they know the words, they try to speak faster! But if they slow down, they're much easier to comprehend - even with grammatical and pronunciation mistakes.
Welshite 40
Apparently you can't understand English either. Did you have to use a translator for this FML?
Pleonasm 36
Well maybe the waitress just had an awful accent. It happens, and it's not really anybody's fault.
heyyyaubrey 9
have you really never heard a chinese person with an extremely thick accent?
Welshite 40
#17: I have heard thick accents from all different nationalities, including Chinese-born professors and bosses.
allie2590 31
If you listen you can understand them through the accent...
WeiXinLun 16
i've never heard of an extremely thick Chinese person with an accent!
nchic01 17
accent?
StillUsesMyspace 22
yes.
JMichael 26
How could you not know she was speaking English?
Futacy 30
"Hello" "Ai taek ordah nao?" "I'm sorry, I don't speak any Chinese."
colton_colton 50
Some people just have really heavy accents!
kmartFTW 12
Sometimes you can't undastahn da ordaee datee izzzz givvehhnn
AutumnHerondale 14
Don't worry, the same thing happened to me in Heathrow. Accents are the bane of travelers.
gracehi 33
The same thing happened to me in Peru! There were these two gorgeous Peruvian men who approached me as I was hiking up a mountain and began speaking to me. I said, "I'm sorry. I don't speak English. One of them replied, "I know. We're speaking English." All I could do was say, "Uh.... Bye!" and run away in embarrassment.
nelliegw 26
#39 what? You told them you don't speak English, and they were speaking English. What's the problem?
gracehi 33
Ha ha! Oops! I meant "I don't speak Spanish." See? I'm just a breathing awkward moment.
ironichalibut 24
Red Forman called, I think you know what he had to say. And stop having your calls forwarded here.
Mynamewontfi 40
I'm wondering how you could make that mistake. Did she have a strong accent?
heyyyaubrey 9
duh..
colton_colton 50
How else would she make that mistake?
RedPillSucks 33
Common mistake. Racial heritage and language don't have to correlate. I've got lots of Brazilian friends who are of Chinese heritage and speak fluent portuguese, spanish and english, but no chinese and wouldn't know what to do with chopsticks.