Today, I was told the Mandarin greeting that my new Chinese friends at school taught me was not really a greeting at all. I've been proclaiming "I'm a dumb bitch" every time I've greeted them, almost every day for the past month. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was asked to prove that I was Chinese by translating the phrase, "Ching chong ming chang ho". I'm not even Chinese. FML
Today, I found out that the loving nickname my Chinese mother has been calling me my entire life essentially translates to "little retard". FML
Today, at a tutoring center, one of the tutors looked at my worksheet and laughed. She then showed all the other tutors my mistakes and they laughed along with her. The best part? They all speak Chinese and they think I can't understand them. I'm Chinese. FML
Today, I found out that I’ve been greeting a coworker by the wrong name for six weeks. The worst part? They never corrected me because they thought it was funny, especially because it turns out to be their mom's name. FML
Today, I found out that the nickname my friend has been calling me in Japanese for the past year is the word for "Idiot". FML
Today, I was trying to get my girlfriend to speak Mandarin. After speaking her first words and taking a break, she posted on Facebook: "I speak ching chong! :D :D :D" FML
Today, I was instructed by my boss to welcome the 2 new foreign business partners since I am the only one who could speak their language. When they arrived I greeted them in their language. One of them scratched his head and asked his companion in plain and clear English, "What did he say?" FML
Today, I've learned two things. One, my Chinese cousins don't know much about the USA, and two, they now believe it's proper manners to shout, "FREEEEDOM" before ending a call with me. FML
Today, I was eating at a Chinese restaurant, when I stopped the waitress to tell her that even though I am of Chinese heritage, I can't understand a word of Chinese. After an awkward silence, she told me she was actually speaking English. FML
Today, my new boss sat me down and told me he's seriously reconsidering my hire, all because I greeted him with, "Howdy, boss!" instead of, "Good morning, sir." Apparently this indicates a lack of respect for his authority. FML
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Top comments
jessimica642 8
Lol that's so mean, but funny
Minna_fml 14
Then say nothing at all.
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Comments (204)
thinbubba 8
you know there are online translaters you could have used. Maybe they are trying to tell you something.
husky22 0
thats what google translate is for!
BunchieRules 31
#199: Yeah, translating Mandarin to English online almost never ends well :P Obviously OP trusted her "friends" and expected them to be honest about it. Which reminds me, I wonder if my brother, who speaks Chinese, has done anything like that...
chelleybelly1992 1
ZaywwwquAaix
nachohuerres 6
??????? ???what is bitch? ??? First line: You should smoke weed. Lol
gaff1229 1
That's understandable. I know a bunch of guys at the local convenience store who taught me an indian greeting, and to this day I'm half convinced it's something like what you've been saying. Mind you, I say it anyway, but only with them. I figure, what the hell?
MizCherryBlossom 15
Those are NOT your friends.
rainrain76 2
Don't worry, just joking.
GeeUnit 8
Those aren't real friends.
awbi96 5
PRICELESS
thehipster 3
That kind of makes it true.... YDI but take it lightly that's pretty damn funny