Today, I was told I needed to start carrying bandaids with me at work because practically every day I hurt myself. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I cut my finger deep on an envelope at work and started bleeding profusely. When I asked my co-worker for a band-aid, she told me to get back to work and stop making up excuses to try and hit on her. FML
Today, I got a paper cut while opening my box of Band-Aids. FML
Today, I cut my hand on nothing while at work. It bled so much, I began to feel woozy, and everyone kept brushing me off when I asked where the first aid kits were. FML
Today, while drilling holes in "No Smoking" signs for my job, I gave myself a minor cut that would appear to most as a papercut. I then had to fill out 3 double-sided pages of paperwork. FML
Today, I received roughly 50 paper cuts while I was at work. I didn't realize this until after I applied hand sanitizer. FML
Today, I sliced my arm open on the weekend, patched it with a fabric bandaid. Had an allergic reaction to the bandaid, arm now swollen, blistering and keeping-me-awake itchy. Pharmacist's advice? "Oooh, that looks bad. Better put a bandaid on that." FML
Today, I hurt my back at work due to faulty, outdated, and just crap equipment. Workers’ comp offered me two Tylenols and a pamphlet about "mindfulness over medical bills." FML
Today, while I was at work in a machine shop, I cut myself really bad. Not with any of the sharp tools, drills, or metals I work with. Just the soap dispenser. FML
Today, I discovered that I'm allergic to band-aids. I now have a band-aid shaped rash around a tiny cut on my leg. Oh the irony. FML
Today, I walked too close to a first-aid kit sticking out of a wall at work, and it cut my arm. Laughing at the irony, I opened it to get a band aid out. It was empty. FML
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Top comments
luther48 20
Bubble wrap time
MessedUpLife00 13
How does one manage to hurt themselves everyday, what is your job?
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Comments (28)
opis34 14
Well it can't be that bad if it's only band aids right...
Arnoud 19
That sucks op :( hope you dont hurt yourself too bad. What kind of work do you do? Maybe you have to do you work more carefully
MessedUpLife00 13
Sorry
luther48 20
Bubble wrap time
delfino1604 24
I keep a few handy just in case.
XQuartzX 15
I do as well, and my friends claimed me weird. What's so wrong with being prepared?
anythingrandom 23
keep some at the office only? On the bright side, they care for you!
MessedUpLife00 13
How does one manage to hurt themselves everyday, what is your job?
Googolman 29
I imagine it being some office job, which just makes it funnier seeing as it doesn't require a lot of physical work.
pancakebunny 19
KNIFE FACTORY!!!!!!
GhostFox 34
A lot of things can impact coordination in minor ways that are nevertheless enough to make someone injury-prone. Autism spectrum disorders, joint stability issues, allergies, etc. If you have more than one, it gets really fun.
FalloutScrolls 25
I thought I was the only one. I'm not alone.
RichardPencil 32
Please say you're in food service! I have a lot of vampire friends.
Arkham_Callabero 15
I wasn't aware that Dracula enjoyed fine dining establishments
DravensTheName 16
Oh gosh if so don't tell Buffy
RichardPencil 32
#14, it could also be fast food. Some of the members of Team Edward can't afford fancy eating. They blew all their money on Twilight swag.
isabellam0426 18
I've never related to a post so much.
yerawizardlizzy 27
I often wonder how these FMLs get published and mine don't. Not that I feel self-important, but really? Being accident prone is unfortunate and pesky, but at least you aren't the person in colonoscopy FML under this.
hellnosucka 27
Maybe you should file a lawsuit.
Lalala579121 28
Or break up with FML.