Today, I was teaching my two year-old daughter how to take a person's temperature. While I was sitting down, she came up behind me and shoved the thermometer in my ear hard. Now I can't hear out of my right ear, and I'm in excruciating pain. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was working at a daycare. There was a 6-year-old boy pretending to be my doctor, holding a little, plastic thermometer. He then, without warning, quickly shoved it deep into my ear. The last thing I heard was his giggle. I think I'm deaf. FML
Today, I was taking a nap on the couch when my 2 year old daughter decided that daddy needed an ear cleaning. With all the grace of toddler-hood, she stabbed me in the eardrum with a Q-tip. Now I can't hear her coming. FML
Today, my four year old daughter came up to me with her finger in her ear. She then let me know that her earwax tasted better than the dinner I made. In front of my whole family. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's to get a checkup. When the nurse stuck the Otoscope into my ear to look, she was disgusted. When she pulled it out, she told me that I had an ear infection, and that she'd popped a pimple in there by mistake. FML
Today, I was cleaning wax out my ears when my wife came barrelling into the bathroom, desperate to pee. The door slammed right into the side of my head and the cotton swab I was using was pushed all the way in and ruptured my eardrum. FML
Today, I have an ear infection. The pain from it radiates from my ear all the way down the left side of my face, so my doctor prescribed me something that makes half of my face numb and pretty much unusable. Tomorrow, I have to give a presentation on strokes for my med class. Go figure. FML
Today, my excruciating ear pain turned out to be a bastard maggot eating away at all the vital things behind my eardrum. The doctor pulled it out, but I’m now permanently deaf in that ear and can’t balance. I fall if I try to stand or walk further than 5 feet. FML
Today, I put the little boy I nanny for in time-out. In retaliation he blasted an air horn in my face. I can only hear out of one ear now. FML
Today, I wasn't feeling well, so I took my temperature with a thermometer from my sister's bathroom. I later found out that I actually used my sister's rectal thermometer. At least I don't have a fever. FML
Today, I took my 2-year-old son to the ear doctor, since he'd stopped responding whenever I call him. The doctor told me that his ears are just fine. He's just ignoring me. FML
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Top comments
star_86 0
YDI for trying to teach that to a 2 year old!
SamSayzRAWRZ 0
she's 2. what else do you expect? YDI.
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Comments (115)
Schlal05 0
You are so stupid, I have a 2 yr old and never would I ever show her to put anything in anyones ear. Probably popped your ear drum. You're so dumb
aback 5
Teach her how to do brain surgery, next!
BeckyBooG 6
Owww! well never teach a 2yr old that stuff! Jeez!!
LadyTammyA 0
Teaching THAT to a two year old? Seriously? No offense, but consider your pain to be a learning experience...don't be an idiot! I can't believe you are as smart as you are, and someone let's you be alone with a child!
LadyTammyA 0
The OP clearly states "while teaching" NOT "while briefly explaining the mechanics of", this obviously gave many people (myself included) the impression that the child was intentionally being shown. At least, that's how it appears to me. Otherwise, you would have a good point. :)
MrNoPants 0
this is fake, you'd be dead
yourmurderscenex 13
uh oh someone has a ruptured ear drum! my brother ruptured his and had to get surgery. now he has a constant ringing in his ear. buy hey, look on the bright side this might be a funny story for when you guys are older and also your daughter can learn how stupid you are. YDI.
deidre823 7
Dude I would have beat that ass!! I know people say "Oh they're just kids, they don't know what they're doing." THE HELL THEY DON'T!!
cfalen 0
OP you're lucky she didn't put it somewhere else
Xquisite1 28
Calm down people--Obviously the OP is raising the next Doogie Howser.