Today, I was teaching my daughter how to drive. We were passing by a merge lane; I told her to slow down and let a green car merge in front of us. She said, "Fuck the green car" and sped up, colliding with it. Apparently she didn't know that would happen. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took my daughter out driving to practice for her road test. I told her to make a left into a parking lot. She missed the 30-foot wide entrance, but not the two-foot wide tree. FML
Today, I took my driving test. As I was about to turn at a green light, a car sped toward us from the other direction, running a red light. My instructor failed me because I stopped to avoid getting rammed. Apparently I should have kept going, because it was my right of way. FML
Today, while in the car with my mom, she gave me a lecture about how bad of a driver I am. During that process she ran a red light and hit a car. FML
Today, I took my 15 year-old daughter driving. I yelled at her for not going safely around corners. On the way home, while demonstrating how to drive right, I went around a corner and hit a cement truck. FML
Today, I stopped at a red light, when I noticed the car in front of me was in reverse. I honked at the driver, hoping he'd realize and place the car in drive. He thought the light turned green and immediately backed into me. FML
Today, my mom was driving with my brothers and sister in the back seat. She was turned around talking to us, when my sister told my mom that she missed the light. She ran it, then screamed at us about not paying attention and noticing your surroundings. FML
Today, I saw a woman still texting on her phone as she started to drive away when the light turned green. I made sure to stare her down and give her a dirty look because she wasn't paying attention to driving. She laughed as I rear-ended the car in front of me. FML
Today, while I was driving, I saw my driving instructor from high school walking on the sidewalk. As I waved to him, I rear-ended the car in front of me. Guess I really showed him how much I learned from him. FML
Today, I watched as the teenage neighbor girl tried to parallel-park between me and my wife's cars. She was doing pretty well until she backed into mine, got scared, hit the accelerator and ran into my wife's. FML
Today, while in the drive-through for Taco Bell, I hit the car behind me after forgetting my car was in reverse. It was in reverse because I was worried the old lady in front of me was going to forget she was in reverse. She didn't. FML
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Top comments
Druu 53
And that's when you reply, "**** getting you a driver's license."
\ 28
That, my friend, is a fine example of "YOLO." Or more accurately, of natural selection.
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Comments (101)
rawrmuffinsnom 18
Technically the green car should have yielded if it was merging. Traffic already on the highway has the right of way. Don't teach your daughter to be a passive driver. That is really how bad accidents are caused because they like to stop in the middle of busy traffic when they shouldn't.
TheDrifter 24
You don't understand merge either do you? If the vehicle is at highway speed and in front of you, you are responsible for leaving them room to safely merge. Merge lanes are an alternating right of way, not through traffic right of way like a turning lane.
Smoothjc1 6
What the hell is a alternating right of way ??? never heard of it. please go back to driving school, also do a search on Google of (alternating right of way) they have NEVER heard of it either.
TheDrifter 24
Google has failed you. An alternating right of way is a situation in which multiple vehicles have the right of way and are expected to share it. Other situations include where a lane ends (example 3 lanes go to 2) and a traffic light controlled intersection when the lights are not functioning (you know, the "treat it like a 4 way stop" lesson?). If you would like some of those lessons yourself I'm fully certified to teach them.
chosha_fml 27
Hope you're making her pay the excess on the insurance. And not letting her back in the car until she's saved up and paid you a second excess in case she is that reckless again.
NellyFC35 19
Where you in Texas? That's how they do it around here.....smh
jw90 18
Yea..**** that green ca..oh never mind.
lbrown66 12
This is why women shouldn't drive
darryaz 9
Maybe you should buy her a bus pass.
ViviMage 40
Well, she did **** the green car!
lolstruck 4
I would reflect on how you raised her.
wraithfodder 8
Your daughter is a champion, OP.
courtz94 24
She should not get a license. If she can't listen to you when you're trying to teach her, then she shouldn't be allowed the privilege of having a license.