Today, I was teaching my daughter how to drive. We were passing by a merge lane; I told her to slow down and let a green car merge in front of us. She said, "Fuck the green car" and sped up, colliding with it. Apparently she didn't know that would happen. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took my daughter out driving to practice for her road test. I told her to make a left into a parking lot. She missed the 30-foot wide entrance, but not the two-foot wide tree. FML
Today, I took my driving test. As I was about to turn at a green light, a car sped toward us from the other direction, running a red light. My instructor failed me because I stopped to avoid getting rammed. Apparently I should have kept going, because it was my right of way. FML
Today, while in the car with my mom, she gave me a lecture about how bad of a driver I am. During that process she ran a red light and hit a car. FML
Today, I took my 15 year-old daughter driving. I yelled at her for not going safely around corners. On the way home, while demonstrating how to drive right, I went around a corner and hit a cement truck. FML
Today, I stopped at a red light, when I noticed the car in front of me was in reverse. I honked at the driver, hoping he'd realize and place the car in drive. He thought the light turned green and immediately backed into me. FML
Today, my mom was driving with my brothers and sister in the back seat. She was turned around talking to us, when my sister told my mom that she missed the light. She ran it, then screamed at us about not paying attention and noticing your surroundings. FML
Today, I saw a woman still texting on her phone as she started to drive away when the light turned green. I made sure to stare her down and give her a dirty look because she wasn't paying attention to driving. She laughed as I rear-ended the car in front of me. FML
Today, while I was driving, I saw my driving instructor from high school walking on the sidewalk. As I waved to him, I rear-ended the car in front of me. Guess I really showed him how much I learned from him. FML
Today, I watched as the teenage neighbor girl tried to parallel-park between me and my wife's cars. She was doing pretty well until she backed into mine, got scared, hit the accelerator and ran into my wife's. FML
Today, while in the drive-through for Taco Bell, I hit the car behind me after forgetting my car was in reverse. It was in reverse because I was worried the old lady in front of me was going to forget she was in reverse. She didn't. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Druu 53
And that's when you reply, "**** getting you a driver's license."
\ 28
That, my friend, is a fine example of "YOLO." Or more accurately, of natural selection.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (101)
Rainbow_dumpster 28
Looks like she's gonna have a bus pass instead...
Xotoolyxo 16
Maybe a couple extra drivers ed classes? Well worth the money
rockydify 22
That'd be the last driving lesson from me! Let her pay for a professional.
Eivana 37
I would have slapped the shit out of her for being so dangerously ignorant and force her to spend all of her money fixing any damages insurance did not cover and she would be paying me back and kissing my ass for the rest of her life.
Lil_Red777 21
In FL we can get our permit at 15 and drive with a licensed driver over 21 and we have to have it a year before we can get our license.
Cami111 2
Is she blonde by any chance ?
prljm10 10
She learned that from somewhere. Maybe from you??
Panda_Shy_Haven 17
And people like that is why I'm afraid to drive. Also why I don't like people
IT_Nird95 9
Time to let the wife take a crack at it..
Bootrick 11
You did a poor job raising your child. That's clearly evident not in her failure to drive, shit happens, but in her words and lack of respect for your instruction.