Today, I was teaching my daughter how to drive. We were passing by a merge lane; I told her to slow down and let a green car merge in front of us. She said, "Fuck the green car" and sped up, colliding with it. Apparently she didn't know that would happen. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took my daughter out driving to practice for her road test. I told her to make a left into a parking lot. She missed the 30-foot wide entrance, but not the two-foot wide tree. FML
Today, I took my driving test. As I was about to turn at a green light, a car sped toward us from the other direction, running a red light. My instructor failed me because I stopped to avoid getting rammed. Apparently I should have kept going, because it was my right of way. FML
Today, while in the car with my mom, she gave me a lecture about how bad of a driver I am. During that process she ran a red light and hit a car. FML
Today, I took my 15 year-old daughter driving. I yelled at her for not going safely around corners. On the way home, while demonstrating how to drive right, I went around a corner and hit a cement truck. FML
Today, I stopped at a red light, when I noticed the car in front of me was in reverse. I honked at the driver, hoping he'd realize and place the car in drive. He thought the light turned green and immediately backed into me. FML
Today, my mom was driving with my brothers and sister in the back seat. She was turned around talking to us, when my sister told my mom that she missed the light. She ran it, then screamed at us about not paying attention and noticing your surroundings. FML
Today, I saw a woman still texting on her phone as she started to drive away when the light turned green. I made sure to stare her down and give her a dirty look because she wasn't paying attention to driving. She laughed as I rear-ended the car in front of me. FML
Today, while I was driving, I saw my driving instructor from high school walking on the sidewalk. As I waved to him, I rear-ended the car in front of me. Guess I really showed him how much I learned from him. FML
Today, I watched as the teenage neighbor girl tried to parallel-park between me and my wife's cars. She was doing pretty well until she backed into mine, got scared, hit the accelerator and ran into my wife's. FML
Today, while in the drive-through for Taco Bell, I hit the car behind me after forgetting my car was in reverse. It was in reverse because I was worried the old lady in front of me was going to forget she was in reverse. She didn't. FML
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Top comments
Druu 53
And that's when you reply, "**** getting you a driver's license."
\ 28
That, my friend, is a fine example of "YOLO." Or more accurately, of natural selection.
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Comments (101)
incoherentrmblr 22
Women drivers, lol, j/k. It sounds like you're from either New Jersey or Maryland. Neither state can drive safely enough. I guess it really isn't easy being green.
Redlawnchair 9
When I was growing up, if I would've told my father "**** the...." anything I would've been grounded and wouldn't be driving regardless. Times sure are changing.
GAOStarr 15
Obviously, someone's not ready to be on the road.
worldclassrager 41
At least a YOLO didn't come up... Hope you to made it out alright...and can get cheap repairs that are quality...
Epikouros 32
Hm... I was going to buy a green car today...
derptitude 4
they should make female drivers cars out of NERF!
rocko00 6
Your daughter is obviously not ready to be on the road. Don't let her be until she understands responsibility to herself and others. What she did is dangerous.
Virtual_BS 13
Has she got African blood in her? - because that's how the majority of people drive here in Africa.
brittyboo123 35
Oh goodness.. it appears that she will be needing a lot of practice. Away from green cars. Or just cars. And people. Houses. Anything really. Try a big parking lot.
Lil_Red777 21
**** that, don't even let her near a car she's clearly not ready for that responsibility.
nanxi 30
Wow what a ******* idiot.