Today, after eating out, my mother asked me to figure out 20 percent of the bill whilst staring daggers at me. I have never been good at math under pressure and especially not percentages, so I told her as such. She called me a complete idiot, to which my father simply said, “I agree.” FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was invited by my dad to eat out at a buffet. At the end he handed me the bill. I paid with hesitation, because he didn’t ask or talk to me about it, but I didn’t wanna make a scene. I come home to my husband asking for more money too because he "can’t manage money." I guess girls really do go for their dads. FML
Today, my parents took me out to eat. When the bill came, they stared at me for a while before asking, “Aren’t you gonna pay?” They've never made me pay before, there was no indication that I’d have to pay this time, and I’d left my wallet at home. FML
Today, my wife was screaming at our son over his maths homework, so I poked my nose in to help calm them down. My wife was not happy when I pointed out that most of her calculations and answers were wrong, whereas our son got most of his right. I’m now in the doghouse because my wife can’t count. FML
Today, my mom and I went out to a fancy and expensive restaurant per her request; she told me it was her treat. After we ate our meals and the large check came, she excused herself to the bathroom. She didn't come back. I was dine-and-dashed by my own mother. FML
Today, I went to eat with my girlfriend, her parents and my mother. My mother complained about every aspect of the service. When I told her she needed to assert herself, she took her pocketbook and hit me over the head. The whole restaurant stared at us while she yelled "Is that assertive enough?" FML
Today, at the restaurant I work at, my own mom refused to give a tip and complained to my boss. FML
Today, disappointed with my results on a mathematics test, I went over it and realized my teacher had added up the marks incorrectly, leaving me with 17% less than I earned. The person who's supposed to be teaching me math can't even perform basic arithmetic. FML
Today, my stupid drunk dad was yelling for food and since my mum needed to finish her taxes before midnight, I told him to STFU and passed him prawn fried rice, which he told me to shove up my ass. I threw it in the bin, since he's the only meat eater in the family. When she'd finished, she yelled at me instead of him. FML
Today, a woman came through my drive-thru and ordered a latte, but the bank had closed off her cards and she was short 30 cents in cash. I felt bad, so I paid for her. When I went home, I told my dad what I did, thinking he'd be proud of how he raised me but no, he said I'd wasted my money, and made me feel bad about it. FML
Today, I was food shamed by my boyfriend in front of an entire restaurant and his parents because my meal cost more than his. His mom chimed in saying her meal usually costs more than his step dad's too and not to be upset. I'm 8 months pregnant, of course mine costs more. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
J_Free_Woods 29
If you’re trying to find out what 20% of a bill is then what you need to do is take the decimal point and put it one number over to the left so if something is $5.50 and you’re doing a 20% tip for someone what you need to do is it’s $.55 for the 10% and then you double that. Which means that it is $1.10 for a 20% tip.
RichardPencil 32
Well, you'd better bone up on your percentages to take the SAT! And make sure you bring two forms of ID and a #2 pencil. The beautiful thing is that your parents agree on something!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (9)
J_Free_Woods 29
If you’re trying to find out what 20% of a bill is then what you need to do is take the decimal point and put it one number over to the left so if something is $5.50 and you’re doing a 20% tip for someone what you need to do is it’s $.55 for the 10% and then you double that. Which means that it is $1.10 for a 20% tip.
J_Free_Woods 29
Please don’t delete my last comment because I have a fractured left hand.
Justkidding100 41
seriously easiest way to calculate a tip ever
RichardPencil 32
Well, you'd better bone up on your percentages to take the SAT! And make sure you bring two forms of ID and a #2 pencil. The beautiful thing is that your parents agree on something!
Hangryko 32
Tell them your therapist disagrees.
D J's MOM 17
your parents are complete assholes. they could have been nice and used that as a teaching moment for you.
princess_stabitty 20
Well, it's half of hers, and half of his genes that made you, so, mom and pops, maybe it's time to look into the mirror, if you are looking for an idiot.
Suaria 38
How I remember 20% is there's 2 for every 10. So if the bill is $25 then 20% of that is $4.50
RichardPencil 32
20% of $25 is $5 ($4.50 is 18% of $25) Are you trying to gaslight us?
idragosani 17
It's $5... 20% is the same as 1/5
dreams2383 20
I always just Google it.
idragosani 17
You can't calculate 20%?? Divide by 10 and then multiply by 2
vinvin2210 15
small trick for the future .. double it and remove a 0...