Today, my boyfriend called me at work and said, "I hate to do this over the phone..." I burst into tears, thinking he was going to break up with me. Turns out he only ate my last doughnut. Now my co-workers think I'm a weirdo. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend bought my favorite doughnuts for our anniversary. After settling down and pouring a glass of wine, I grabbed a doughnut and quickly realized the filling inside wasn't jelly. He thought it would be funny to replace it with toothpaste. FML
Today, I ran up to my boyfriend and gave him a kiss. I didn't understand why the girl next to him got upset, but it turns out the voicemail I deleted by accident was him breaking up with me. FML
Today, my co-worker handed me the phone and said it was my boyfriend calling, so I answered "Hello, Love!" It was my boss. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me to break up with me. Immediately after we hung up, I started crying hysterically. I thought I dialed my best friend, and as soon as the line picked up, I yelled, "That motherfucker broke up with me!" My now ex-boyfriend replied, "Yeah, I know I did." FML
Today, I called my boyfriend and a woman answered. Turns out, she's also his girlfriend. She broke up with me on his behalf. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he stopped, got off, walked into the kitchen grabbed a doughnut, and came back to finish while he ate it. FML
Today, I went to go meet my boyfriend at a restaurant to tell him it just wasn't working out. Before I could do so, he proposed. I had to tell him no, so he started to cry and ran out. Everyone looked at me like some kind of monster. FML
Today, my boss found out that my girlfriend dumped me. He asked if that meant she would no longer bring her delicious homemade cookies to the office. When I said yes, he fired me on the spot. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's work to surprise him. When I got there, I called him on his phone to tell him to turn around. I saw him look at his phone. His co-worker next to him asked who that was. He replied, "Just this fat chick I know." FML
Today, after working the midnight shift at my job, I thought it would be nice to leave a sweet love note along with my boyfriend's favourite candy in his car. Upon finding it, he immediately broke up with me for "breaking into" his car. FML
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Top comments
Kermy1113 23
I still would've cried
jackthekeeper 24
I'd cry more about a donut tbh
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Comments (46)
Kermy1113 23
I still would've cried
friday9733 11
The classy thing woulda been to get replacements after you ate the donut. But then you coulda just ate the fresh donut. And this all requires clothes...
PoisonKangaroo 5
Atleast it wasn't the last muffin OP!
jackthekeeper 24
I'd cry more about a donut tbh
delude 26
Doughnuts > boys
doxer 13
You didn't cry over the doughnut. What's wrong with you?
thebeast2349 6
Doughnuts are definitely something to cry over lol.
ShleeG 23
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I hope you mean ex-boyfriend
littlekellilee 45
I hope you mean ex-doughnut
JKPwnage 27
The next day: "Today, I called my girlfriend during work to tell her I ate the last doughnut, and I started by saying, "I hate to do this over the phone." She burst into tears because she thought I was breaking up with her. When she got home, she dumped me. FML"
SecundusSecunda 27
Dough-nut jump to conclusions OP
itsalanis 25
Hey, I thought this was a pretty neat pun. Or maybe I have lower standards than I thought...
SecundusSecunda 27
I was just trying to keep things simple
beeferjay 34
you might need to stop by the donut shop after work... you emotional wreck you, lol
Richard6036 13
I'm glad it was just a doughnut, but it sounds like you have severe self-esteem issues
Marmarfarfar 25
worth crying over to be honest