Today, I was talking to my husband about a work colleague, whose boyfriend is always sending her flowers and fawning over her. I mentioned how I've never been treated like that. He glanced up from his video game and said, "Shit, Mel. Get a boob job then." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I overheard my husband of 3 years talking to our boss, an attractive blonde. She was telling him that she couldn't believe he was with me. She thinks I'm fat and ugly and that he's hot. He said, "She's not that bad…" We work in the same store and she follows him around like a puppy. FML
Today, I came home upset about the sexism in my work place. I just wanted to be alone, but my husband insisted we talk about it. I noticed he kept looking over and one of his hands was moving. He was playing video games the entire time I was spilling my guts. FML
Today, I was complaining to my husband about a busty but vapid celebrity, and he replied, "She doesn't need brains, honey, she has boobs. You wouldn't understand." FML
Today, my husband called me annoyingly needy for saying he never compliments me. I could be half-naked, shaking my ass on the internet, or cruising bars to get validation from strangers. God forbid a woman wants the one person she loves to pay her a crumb of attention. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging about me to his friends, telling them I have a great smile, cute hair, and very perky tits. This wouldn't be so bad if we weren't both men. FML
Today, I was in the car with my husband complaining about the way I look. His response, "Babe, if I cared about the way you looked I wouldnt have married you." FML
Today, I got paired up with a coworker for a three-month project. All he talks about is how attractive my girlfriend is and what he would do with her. FML
Today, I came to work ready to impress my boss. A couple of weeks ago I asked him for a promotion from stock to sales and I have been proving myself worthy. Turns out he hired a new girl for sales, with great, big, fake breasts. FML
Today, I realised I may need to work on my marriage when I saw my husband in public, laughing and smiling with his coworkers, then when he saw me his smile disappeared and he stood up like a tired old man to come and speak to me. FML
Today, I told one of my coworkers that she looked really cute today. Later she sent an email to me and cc'd the entire office saying, "It really makes me feel uncomfortable when you say things like that to me. And I shouldn't have to feel that way at work." FML
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Top comments
eilonwylovegood 8
He's an ass.
Michael_92 20
Damn that really does suck. Guys like that make us all look bad.
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Comments (258)
perdix 31
First of all, you're married, so that horse has left the barn. YDI for accepting crappy treatment during your courtship. You let him get away with being a negligent douchebag this long, you can't change him now.
l0v3p4in 7
My moma always said, "never pickle your husband." I've known guys who were very sweet early on in the relationship then overtime with so much nagging and wives trying to change the small annoyances about them, those guys said, "F*** it," and have become apathetic and bitter towards those women. OP may not have been treated like this all throughout her relationship; she may have nagged him to that point of him replying with such a comment. I'm somewhat surprised Perdix that you automatically assume the guy has been a douchebag all along. I would have expected you to have sided with the husband and told her to get the boob job.
perdix 31
They both are to blame. She said she was "never" treated that well which must have included their dating period. He knew she was flat-chested and still decided to marry her, and she knew he was an unromantic douche, but accepted him anyways. They deserve each other.
duckie227 22
Hmm, perhaps this is the first time I've agreed with you, Perdix, but yes, OP, you said 'husband' meaning he's done doing that kind of stuff all the time. So deal with it and move on
Shrike 24
You realize perdix is almost never serious, right?
l0v3p4in 7
I took the "never" as an overexaggeration in a whiny and bitchy tone more so than factual truth. But you're right. They do deserve each other if both are allowing the relationship to continue as such. One a totally different note: As far as flat-chestedness, best way to cure that is get nature's consequential, yet temporarily less expensive cure - the pregnant boobs. Available at the low price of one fully loaded shot of semen.
soccerdude79 0
He was probably playing cod and on a kill streak and u made him die! So u deserved that
THE_A_TEEN 28
Depends on the game, my friend. Not every Call of Duty game deserves good treatment.
deequu 20
You can't just YDI it because you think he was playing COD. And if he's such a dick IRL, he wouldn't be much better at the game he was playing.
sweetdreams20 0
I would have said "get a penis enlargement asshole"
soccerdude79 0
No one cares what u would have said! That was such a pointless comment idiot!!!!
SecretMe00 5
41-- shut up. Don't be a bully or you'll just be a faded memory.
rdrr 2
If there was such a thing there would be a waiting list. Also you would be extremely afraid of what we came home with! "that whale penis please."
AnnaBonJovi 9
127 - You do realise penis enlargement does definitely exist right? And yes, as with all types of plastic (or medical) surgery, you can be pretty sure there's a waiting list. And maybe that's your kind of thing, but no, most people who get it done are quite happy ending up with a fully human penis actually.....
maronofhearts 19
Actually it's not plastic surgery and there isn't some magical enlargement surgery. There's one surgery and it involves cutting part of it in order to allow the buffer inside inches (1-3) be on the outside. The problem with this is it weakens it and increases the risk of injury Of course this is a very vague explanation of it but enough to settle your little argument over it
hellonyancat 6
You married him so you were obviously happy with the way he acts towards you. It's a bit mean to be demanding he change all of a sudden just because you are jealous of a coworker.
cudalla 0
Well that's what u get for having small boobs
soccerdude79 0
.
terrask 11
So you're complaining that he's an ass after pulling the ''her boyfriend is so much nicer than you''... Better look yourself in the mirror missy, you're the one who married him.
l0v3p4in 7
Definitely agree. Spouses over time tend to reflect one other - just like any other relationship. Attitude is key to how the relationship will turn out.
docscientist 10
There are different ways of expressing love.
xxCandyKissxx 1
Aw **** guys! They're all doche bags and they only care about nice sex, it's crazy. You should leave him or yeah him his place :D
thatgurltori 6
he's a charmer.
harbqll 0
I will never cease to be amazed at how women are amazed that men pay more attention to hot chicks than to plain ones.
daltonromanowski 11
Maybe because married men are rightfully expected to fawn over their wives, like they, oh, I dunno - love them or something?
GoW_Chick 15
I'm surprised no one has jumped down your throat for your comment, and at risk for my own there is some truth to it, Dottie the hottie who is more pleasing to the eye gets more attention, than not as pleasing plain Jain. Rude yes, but it's true. :/