Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging about me to his friends, telling them I have a great smile, cute hair, and very perky tits. This wouldn't be so bad if we weren't both men. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I overheard my boyfriend and his friends talking in the next room. I smiled when my boyfriend called me beautiful, only to hear his friend laugh and say, "C'mon, dude. She has fat ankles and smells like deli meat." FML
Today, my boyfriend posted a status on Facebook saying what a great girlfriend he had. Flattered, I commented on it, saying that I felt the same about him. Turns out he was talking about his other girlfriend. FML
Today, I told my best friend she looked great in the dress she was wearing. My boyfriend overheard and is now convinced I'm a lesbian. FML
Today, I walked into my bathroom to my boyfriend bragging about how much better his butt looked than mine, all while wearing my jeans. FML
Today, my boyfriend gushed for several minutes about how amazing it is that I suddenly look hot when he takes his glasses off. FML
Today, I overheard my husband of 3 years talking to our boss, an attractive blonde. She was telling him that she couldn't believe he was with me. She thinks I'm fat and ugly and that he's hot. He said, "She's not that bad…" We work in the same store and she follows him around like a puppy. FML
Today, a guy was telling me how his girlfriend considers me a "perfect beauty." Not used to getting this sort of compliment every day, I felt extremely flattered… until he started explaining in great detail why he couldn't disagree with her more. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he was showing off pictures of me to co-workers. It wasn't until later that he said, "Don't worry, they were old pictures, from when you were hot." They were from four years ago. FML
Today, my friends were all sharing sweet things their boyfriends had shared with them. After hearing "he says I look pretty without makeup" or "he promises we'll get married one day", I realized that the only compliment he's given me is that my laughter "sounds like a squirrel having a seizure." FML
Today, I heard my boyfriend telling a female friend that his ex was so gorgeous and out of his league that it made him feel inadequate, and so he now only dates within reach. She told him he's hot enough to have anyone he wants. 30 seconds later they were tongue-deep in each other's throat. FML
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Top comments
hekinokuroihi 20
Well, apparently he's into that. Maybe he meant your pecks?
iLike2Teabag 27
Who doesn't love perky ****?
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Comments (98)
hekinokuroihi 20
Well, apparently he's into that. Maybe he meant your pecks?
184886837272837 32
No I'm pretty sure he was lying to his friends about having a girlfriend because he doesn't want them to know he's gay.
lndala 15
Or maybe OP is overweight and has really perky moobs. There is a world of possibilities.
kibster9 20
Perky moobs are always the best.
JMichael 26
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Hey at least he likes you! Oh wait..
Jasim 17
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I'm not sure what to say now...
royal_ranger 12
Just don't say anything, it's that simple.
pooldude 24
thanks for letting us know that you are lost for words!!
Erikaaa262 6
maybe he doesn't want them to know that he has a boyfriend and not a girlfriend
miianah1 22
Why is this getting downvoted? It's a pretty good explanation.
iLike2Teabag 27
Who doesn't love perky ****?
Exodiafinder687 58
**** are so perfect even gay guys love them.
golferman72 16
Had to reread this a couple times till I understood it
Jdlove2 20
No kidding...
mnb1998 15
Omg me too!
mackdeezy 22
Hey, 2 out of 3 ain't bad.
Mr23 9
Don't be a tit about it.
victrin 12
Haha, my ex liked bigger guys. When I lost a lot of weight (and my man-boobs) he was one sad guy.
cdawg69 10
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
yuck
AninOnin 24
Congrats on the weight loss! I know how hard that can be xD
foxwasalamb 24
21- go **** yourself
kaypeexoxo 2
That's pretty ******* gross dude... Get the mental help you need
cdawg69 10
right back at ya cutie ;)
cadillacgal79 32
He shouldn't of been upset, you did what was right for you, if anything he should've been supportive.
sturschaedel 27
67, he said that the ex was sad, not upset. He also didn't say he was unsupportive. We don't even know if the weight loss was the reason for the break-up. You can't really control what you are attracted to, or if the attributes you find attractive in a person are healthy or less so. Being attracted to bigger people is equally as unhealthy as being attracted to (borderline) anorectic thin people. Still, both forms exist and for both there is a pool of people more or less happily fulfilling those preferences.
Wizardo 34
The actually overtones I'm getting from this is that your boyfriend isn't yet comfortable with knowing he's gay or hasn't yet told his friends that fact either. Maybe talk to him to find out properly.
Gittoh 21
or he likes manboobs. or a third option.