Today, I was talking to my husband about a work colleague, whose boyfriend is always sending her flowers and fawning over her. I mentioned how I've never been treated like that. He glanced up from his video game and said, "Shit, Mel. Get a boob job then." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I overheard my husband of 3 years talking to our boss, an attractive blonde. She was telling him that she couldn't believe he was with me. She thinks I'm fat and ugly and that he's hot. He said, "She's not that bad…" We work in the same store and she follows him around like a puppy. FML
Today, I came home upset about the sexism in my work place. I just wanted to be alone, but my husband insisted we talk about it. I noticed he kept looking over and one of his hands was moving. He was playing video games the entire time I was spilling my guts. FML
Today, I was complaining to my husband about a busty but vapid celebrity, and he replied, "She doesn't need brains, honey, she has boobs. You wouldn't understand." FML
Today, my husband called me annoyingly needy for saying he never compliments me. I could be half-naked, shaking my ass on the internet, or cruising bars to get validation from strangers. God forbid a woman wants the one person she loves to pay her a crumb of attention. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging about me to his friends, telling them I have a great smile, cute hair, and very perky tits. This wouldn't be so bad if we weren't both men. FML
Today, I was in the car with my husband complaining about the way I look. His response, "Babe, if I cared about the way you looked I wouldnt have married you." FML
Today, I got paired up with a coworker for a three-month project. All he talks about is how attractive my girlfriend is and what he would do with her. FML
Today, I came to work ready to impress my boss. A couple of weeks ago I asked him for a promotion from stock to sales and I have been proving myself worthy. Turns out he hired a new girl for sales, with great, big, fake breasts. FML
Today, I realised I may need to work on my marriage when I saw my husband in public, laughing and smiling with his coworkers, then when he saw me his smile disappeared and he stood up like a tired old man to come and speak to me. FML
Today, I told one of my coworkers that she looked really cute today. Later she sent an email to me and cc'd the entire office saying, "It really makes me feel uncomfortable when you say things like that to me. And I shouldn't have to feel that way at work." FML
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Top comments
eilonwylovegood 8
He's an ass.
Michael_92 20
Damn that really does suck. Guys like that make us all look bad.
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Comments (258)
fenixtorador1 11
So when's the Dr. Appointment?
dabram71 1
Owch
Characterise 0
well that's kinda your fault for picking a guy that's into video games I went through the exact same thing video game nerd put up with it for 2 years nearly always had to hint what I wanted to happen but I never got it I never got flowers chocolates etc coz they're just into the games more important
TheNewGuy03 29
Ya know, everyone who likes to play video games isn't unfeeling and callous. It's different when a person who is completely absorbed in games like it's some sort of parallel universe, but most people aren't like that. It's even cooler when your significant other likes to play games with you. :D |the kid|
Shrike 24
Something tells me 66's lifelong significant other will turn out to be a cat.
matt_mcg 2
66 you lost all credibility when you used the phrase "video game nerd"
Characterise 0
most? that's prob like 500 million billion ppl who do coz I knew there were 77 million owned a ps3.. and well it's so true we shouldn't be giving hints in the first place but hey that's how it goes that's that males don't have an important brain just sex sex sex sleep eat video gaming friends
smallsmerry123 5
115- who let you out of the kitchen, we may have to repeal his manhood.
MurphyS94 4
115- stop making ridiculous accusations and backing them up with your own twisted outlook on life and extreme exaggeration. 500 million billion people? You've got to be kidding.
Metal_Chick 15
66-Why fight them? Just join them. It's a good and fun bonding experience!
TheNewGuy03 29
66/115, in accordance with what the others have pointed out, you have successfully "characterised" yourself as a bigot. That's why I love FMLs like these. |the kid|
kill_me_now7 2
I dont see why you already have a giant boob, him
yuri63f6 7
I think u got him irritated... When you compare what u have with what someone else has, there will always be someone with something that seems better... It doesn't mean that what you have isn't good... But you will appreciate it less.... You are digging your own relationship it's graveyard...
yourmurderscenex 13
i dont agree with what he said but i dont agree with you either. what do expect? you practically called him a bad husband. well he most likely took it that way.
kei1108 13
That is pretty abusive. I recommend marriage counseling. But unless he has an EXTREME heart change (which he probably won't...) then I think divorce. It's cheaper than putting knife to your body.
TSN619 7
Ok I know I don't comment on here very often but I've been reading these for a long time and over time I've read dumb comments people have made but everytime I read one of your comments I feel like I lose brain cells. You're saying that because her husband made a snide remark after she was nagging him means they need counseling? Please shut up.
Marcelb 17
Or even worse, divorce. Or a knife to the body, but I assume that was meant sarcastically.
maronofhearts 19
Knife to the body meant surgery btw Which idk why she thinks divorce is cheaper than a boob job divorces can destroy people's financial lives especially if there's anything worth fighting over the lawyers alone will run you dry
MsMeiriona 2
Don't fish for compliments if you can't take the occasional old boot.
Nursewilly 0
Amazing how it's the guy's fault right away here. I didn't see quotations, so you don't know how she presented this. Also, SHE came at HIM bitching and nagging and whining, and the fact that she threw the video game into it says she's playing the pity me card, so of course she won't tell us how it really went down. OP, quit whining, and don't put your husband on the defensive, and maybe he won't hand it back to you or your lack of rack. YDI for being a whining nag. Funny how you can turn that right around so the guy isn't always at fault immediately,simply by looking at the situation (provided you don't have a ****** and jump to the "Girlfriend he's an asshole, he doesn't deserve you" bullshit) and recognizing the pity party starting up.
elmousey 5
I agree, what she said was dumb. If my wife said something like that I would probably playfully talk some shit back. Especially if I was playing *gasp* video games. What the husband said doesn't make a ton of sense though, sounds like maybe OPs coworker just got a boob job.
THE_A_TEEN 28
So what about the husband who decided to pull the "get implants to please me" card? ....and no, I'm not on any side.
DocBastard 40
Holy ****, are you ******* serious? Whining and nagging and bitching?? What the hell are you talking about? She said she mentioned it, not that she came at him or any other bullshit. You come off as a woman-hating asshole, much like the husband. Maybe you two can drink some beer and bash women together. Make a night of it.
l0v3p4in 7
Damn, Doc, although I don't quite agree with you totally as 'nursewilly' was trying to convey another side to the story [not as refined as preferred, mind you], but your rage and passion for women [despite the plausibility that they can possibly share the fault] makes you even more 'lovable' and adored. I just want to give you a hug and say, "Awww, God bless your little heart."
maronofhearts 19
Why doesn't it make sense 92? She wants something and so does he she comes trying to get him to treat her like young love dating couple he wants her to get a boob job first maybe to make her boobs back like what they were when he did court her
Nursewilly 0
Sounds like fun, we'll be sure to just target the man-hating feminists and c*ntnuggets like yourself though. Thanks for the idea DickBastard!
anneboleyn994 2
That was a bit passive-aggressive of you, I think. Still, your husband sounds like an asshole.