Today, I was talking to my husband about a work colleague, whose boyfriend is always sending her flowers and fawning over her. I mentioned how I've never been treated like that. He glanced up from his video game and said, "Shit, Mel. Get a boob job then." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I overheard my husband of 3 years talking to our boss, an attractive blonde. She was telling him that she couldn't believe he was with me. She thinks I'm fat and ugly and that he's hot. He said, "She's not that bad…" We work in the same store and she follows him around like a puppy. FML
Today, I came home upset about the sexism in my work place. I just wanted to be alone, but my husband insisted we talk about it. I noticed he kept looking over and one of his hands was moving. He was playing video games the entire time I was spilling my guts. FML
Today, I was complaining to my husband about a busty but vapid celebrity, and he replied, "She doesn't need brains, honey, she has boobs. You wouldn't understand." FML
Today, my husband called me annoyingly needy for saying he never compliments me. I could be half-naked, shaking my ass on the internet, or cruising bars to get validation from strangers. God forbid a woman wants the one person she loves to pay her a crumb of attention. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging about me to his friends, telling them I have a great smile, cute hair, and very perky tits. This wouldn't be so bad if we weren't both men. FML
Today, I was in the car with my husband complaining about the way I look. His response, "Babe, if I cared about the way you looked I wouldnt have married you." FML
Today, I got paired up with a coworker for a three-month project. All he talks about is how attractive my girlfriend is and what he would do with her. FML
Today, I came to work ready to impress my boss. A couple of weeks ago I asked him for a promotion from stock to sales and I have been proving myself worthy. Turns out he hired a new girl for sales, with great, big, fake breasts. FML
Today, I realised I may need to work on my marriage when I saw my husband in public, laughing and smiling with his coworkers, then when he saw me his smile disappeared and he stood up like a tired old man to come and speak to me. FML
Today, I told one of my coworkers that she looked really cute today. Later she sent an email to me and cc'd the entire office saying, "It really makes me feel uncomfortable when you say things like that to me. And I shouldn't have to feel that way at work." FML
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Top comments
eilonwylovegood 8
He's an ass.
Michael_92 20
Damn that really does suck. Guys like that make us all look bad.
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Comments (258)
stevenmx86 8
Don't try to change the person you're with.. You married him without him doing all of that stuff why would you expect him to suddenly start doing it? Some people show their affection differently.
causticgirl 6
No good ever comes from nagging a dude while he's playing video games. Stop fishing for compliments. Lavish him and he will lavish you ---it's like the more flies with honey saying.
jemiller226 13
If you want to be fawned over, buy a dog, not a husband. I don't want a woman whose love I have to buy. That's the shallowest sort of "love" there is. Thankfully, my wife agrees.
joanniejore 7
If he's such a douche, why did you marry him?
hateevryone 15
and you married him.
ehllychan 10
He just said the same you did. You: Give me gifts. Him: Give me boobs. You: Her boyfriends does all that. Him: His girlfriend has boobs.
13scarlett13 4
Get a boob job and then divorce the mother f*cker. His expression priceless.
McNerdyNerd 8
Ok....YDI for 2 reasons, and I don't want to sound like a jerk for them.. 1. You KNEW what he was like when you married him. If he isn't going to faun over your existance while you're dating, what makes you think he will just to compete with your friend? and 2. You married a gamer. You should know better by now...you can't have a serious talk while they're on the games, most guys can only focus on one important thing at a time (sorry guys, but it's really true)...so next time you want him to listen, ask him to get off the game, then be NICE about it :) better results, I promise.
shaggy2sly 0
Ill buy you some flowers where do i send them to
lolyeahthatsme 11
Shit Mel, get a new husband then.