Today, I was taking a final exam and I reached into my pocket to get out a pencil. I felt this thing in my pocket so I got it out and put it on the desk. At first I thought it was a leaf but then it started kicking and trying to run around. It was a cockroach. It had been living in my pocket. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was studying for a big test I have next Tuesday in my room. I heard a creak in my ceiling but assumed it was nothing as my house is old. Thirty seconds later something fell from my air vent directly onto my head. It was a giant cockroach. FML
Today, I was playing my guitar and felt something like an itch under my foot, so I attempted to scratch it by rubbing against the floor. The big cockroach made a very distinct "crunch". FML
Today, while packing my luggage from vacation I thought I saw a penny drop into my bag. After looking everywhere I couldn't find it. Now that I am home I found out that I had mistaken a cockroach for a penny. I now have a family of cockroaches living in my luggage. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to go pee. While in the bathroom, I felt something move inside my shirt but just ignored it, thinking it was my shirt brushing on something. Something moved again. I ripped my shirt off to reveal a massive cockroach inside my shirt. FML
Today, I walked out the back door of my place of employment and looked down to see a huge cockroach. This is quite a normal occurrence, so I thought nothing of it until I realized it was struggling to drag the corpse of one of its friends into the building. FML
Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML
Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML
Today, I bought a Santa hat. After wearing the hat for a few hours, I noticed a strange lump near the tip of it. I stuck my hand inside to dig out the mysterious object. It was a dead cockroach. FML
Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML
Today, I went to put my coat on to go out. I put my hand in my pocket, not knowing there was a mouse sleeping in there. I squeezed it, it bit me and ran off. FML
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Top comments
bnwranbo 2
dude.... i was in the middle of eating breakfast...
djizzle 0
oh shit holy shit i would've thrown up all over the desk fyl ew.
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Comments (116)
Vasir 2
31 Is assuming everyone has a cell.
lol_seriously 0
LMAO poor cockroach! Must have been like the middle of the night for him
07_MKV 0
maybe... just maybe you should wash your cloths? YDI
genius_man16 1
YDI for taking the cockroach out of his home but srsly, thats nasty
pennywise37 0
when was a last time u washed yor clothes? go do the laundry!!
xNephilim 19
Yeah, because it takes AGES for a cockroach to crawl into the pants... Those little ******* are FAST.
cherryboo1992 0
lmfao. omg. thats nasty, but funny. personally, I would have cried. or screamed.
SarlaccBits 0
That's disgusting. Learn to clean.
thesusanne 2
That is absolutely disgusting! Do you live in a cheap hotel in Thailand? Otherwise I can't see any reasonable explanation as to why you'd have a cockroach in your pocket.
foolsangel 4
Uhh, just because a cockroach wandered into a dark, narrow space (which they love) doesn't mean that he's filthy. It's likely the OP lives in a dorm, where your dorm can easily be affected by a cockroach problem-- even if you're clean. They don't only eat food left lying around, either, but things like cloth, book bindings, and paper.
lilpsyco 16
Finally someone who's not a total dumbass. I respect your knowledge of entomology personally I prefer reptiles over insects but I do find the quite interesting so respect
purplesucker 0
EWWWWWW! I would have screamed if that were me! That's gross!