Emma-Louise
France 🌶️ Spicy
Today, the only positive thing my ex boyfriend left me was my pregnancy test. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
rawr_fml001
Brampton, Canada
Today, after my boyfriend broke up with me, the only thing positive about my day was a pregnancy test. FML
GM38
Melbourne, United States
Today, I divorced my husband of 20 years. The only positive thing about my day was my pregnancy test. Yes, it was his. FML
melas303
United States
Today, I came home to find a pregnancy test in my trashcan. I live alone with my boyfriend and I'm not pregnant. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy
Today, my pregnancy test came back positive. The only way I could have gotten pregnant is from having gotten drunk and sleeping with my ex. We broke up because I didn't want children. FML
Dumped and pregnant
Today, my ex dumped me for his ex who'd cheated on him. Today, I also found out I'm pregnant. When I told him he said, "I’m really happy for you. I hope it all works out." FML
kiken.bara
United States
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant and sent a picture of the positive test to my boyfriend. Before I got a text back from him, I saw his newly updated Facebook status, which read, "This has got to be the most depressing day of my life." FML
Anonymous
Portland, United States
No kidding
Today, my pregnancy test came back positive. My boyfriend is no fan of fatherhood, so it was with some hesitation that I called him and let him know I'm pregnant. He replied, "Like hell you are!" and hung up. He now refuses to answer any of my calls. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, in the bathroom. I noticed a pregnancy test in the trash can. He lives alone. FML
Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Today, I found out I'm pregnant with my soon-to-be ex-husband's baby from the moment we agreed to have sex one last time together. FML
Anonymous
Canada
Today, I am pregnant, and my boyfriend dumped me, saying that he didn't want to be stuck in anything too serious. FML
Top comments
happymelon 0
Nothing says "I love you" like abandonment and unpaid child-support.
Babygirl2338 0
i would track him down and make him pay that child support;)
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Comments (238)
MrsxBillxKaulitz 5
sucks.
crunchycereal 0
He didn't leave you waffles :(
niiick97_fml 3
haha niiice
crunchycereal 0
He didn't leave you waffles!?!
abbi96x 0
Forget waffles! He didn't leave you Ben&Jerrys?! What a bastard!
bravesfan112233 0
well he did leave you. if he was that bad, that was positive
comepoopwithme 0
if you really THINK you love a guy, put a condom on it!
L3Paparazzo 7
condoms a must
carmenm 6
pulling out is not a contraceptive method .. idiot
OCDC 9
I can't believe people are forgetting the Golden Rule. Wrap it before you tap it.
xoxbandgeekxox13 3
hahaha! x3 I laughed at that. just thought I'd tell ya
ColdplaySucks 18
Maybe you should have considered this before you started dating him and stuff. YDI.
schaflava 0
at least you're not positive with hiv
TheBeatlesAreLov 0
Come on man, no glove, no love.
bodmonontheblock 0
ops bf forgot to package his meat
hotscar 3
don't be daft; wrap your shaft
jamila123 5
Did he have pancake mix?
seldom66 16
don't be a dummy, cum on her tummy!
cocobulla1 4
36 and 44 sane person, but wtf??? ur pic is... ok. who. is. ur. Doctor! I gotta slap him
cocobulla1 4
*same
geeksaresexy 18
36 and 44 IS A DUDE. I wonder how many kids he has already that he doesn't know about?
mike410 0
What a stupid ******* comment. You sound like a 12 year, your probably one of those nerds that always talks about chuck Norris...smh
moonglow93 4
dam r yu going to tell him !??
IdontWanna69 8
I have a strong feeling he all ready knows.
qwert1994 0
^^ I believe he didn't leave her because it was positive. The FML has other strong reasons to why he left.
bitterfaceplant 0
You should take him to Maury's show:-(
SchiTzenGiglez 0
just think positive
EvilPotato 15
Damn 3 are you going to take a grammar lesson?
Carpy 8
OP, this is why we have condoms, birth control, Plan B (morning after pill), & anti-pregnancy implants. YDI for getting pregnant unintentionally when you had several options to prevent it from happening. Congrats! You're now known as an "oops mom"'.
krysxkatastrophe 14
Must resist telling a dead baby joke.....
Pufferfish78 5
Jerk!
lmaoatall 6
then please do
moosemonkey1000 6
whats worse than seven dead babies in one trash can? One dead baby in seven trashcans.
metfanatic1986 0
what's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage. xD
67gtojake 7
how do you make a baby float. take your foot off it's head
RockstarRN 10
Sick and disgusting! If only your mom had done that to you. Ahhh, a girl can wish!
RockstarRN 10
Sad pathetic excuse of human beings with all the dead baby jokes. I can only wish upon you the same tragedy myself and friend have experienced. Remember this post when your child is ripped from you arms you sorry pieces of sh*t!
extreemguy19 7
whats small, black, orange, yellow, red, and crying? a pile of babies on fire :)
SpankyMcThrust 6
I'm only thumbing down these baby jokes cause they're ******* OLD. Seriously, get some new material, I was regurgitating these when I was 9.
koolaidman247 3
haha tried to thumb u up but I accidentally thumbed you down lol
koolaidman247 3
to rockstar
jazziness 12
dead baby jokes aren't funny
InsidiousChild 0
your all sick
fanceh 10
what's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes before I jump on one...
Bravo11 14
I have a wicked and occasionally cruel sense of humor, but these jokes are repulsive and they aren't even good ones. Smh.
YacL 15
The first one was kinda like "Lol, I get it" but as I kept reading them they turned into "WTF is wrong with you?"
RockstarRN 10
Ask me if I give a f*ck. You wish you could thumb me!
james_aka_frosty 3
sounds kinda sexual if you as me "I wish you could thumb me"
beberrr92_fml 0
yes they are.
explodingmuffint 0
so sensitive -_- get a sense of reality. you baby joke haters probably go to a scary movie and midway through scream "that's cruel disgusting and unethical! imma sue these film makers who scarred my eyes!!" and that's why there are no good scary movies.
metfanatic1986 0
how do you make a dead baby float? 2 scoops of ice cream, 1 scoop of dead baby, chocolate syrup, and a cherry on top!
YacL 15
168 - No, I love scary movies... but that doesn't mean I love to read these jokes about mutilating dead babies.
alexd10293 0
how do you stop a baby from choking? take ur penis out of its mouth.
iReadFmlsFml 0
So many assholes talking about dead children..... this is just sick, have you no love or shame? RockstarRN has the right idea, madam, I applaud you.
cocobulla1 4
rockstarRN u da best!!!! all sick people out there, talking about dead babies... what if those babies were u????!!!!!!! who will b laughing then????? MEEEEEEEEE
kiaralove53 0
Congrats I guess! :)
whiteboy7thst 2
Not really...
kiaralove53 0
"Virtue itself turns vice, being misapplied, And vice sometime by action dignified." Taken from Shakespeare: things that seem bad can turn good.
Babygirl2338 0
i would track him down and make him pay that child support;)
iReadFmlsFml 0
Thanks for making me laugh :P
Juliaa15 6
Please tell me you were kidding...
savs11 13
damn straight. He probably won't though because obviously he's trash.
MuffyStJacques 0
Doesn't say anywhere that she is going to keep the foetus... >_>
mylifesucks95 0
haha 69 likes
Unlucky1232 20
geeze what makes u think he abandoned her. granted yeah broke her heart but he doesn't know she's pregnant. I'm pretty sure he's willing to help raise it
happymelon 0
Nothing says "I love you" like abandonment and unpaid child-support.
yummylicious 5
amen!
sk8rchick97 0
I totally agree
yummylicious 5
at least you'll have a baby...
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
How is that a plus?
igpyitl 0
^i agree. why is she happy to birth a baby that has a dead beat dad who probably won't pay child support or contribute to that child's life. OP must be rly freaking out..
mante_fml 0
takes two to tango. ydi
paleontologist 8
Their birth control could have failed, and in that case, it is not her fault. She doesn't deserve to be abandoned by her boyfriend after finding out that she's pregnant. No one deserves that.
XxGuard 0
It doesn't matter if she takes birth control. If he doesn't wear a condom, he gives her full control to get pregnant or not. Studies have proven it.
missy_lynn012 0
condom could've broken... stop being a douche.
XxGuard 0
yeah it could have. But studies have proven that girls have full control if the guy isn't wearing a condom. - - and how is that being a douche? A fact isn't being brainless... did you not pay attention in science or health class?
polkadot3155 6
how do girls have control????
TheDrifter 24
She is the only one of the two with the option of medications and procedures to prevent or end the pregnancy after fertilization, therefore it is her choice and responsibility. All that he has a say in is the court hearing on how much child support he pays, and even they aren't likely to listen to him.
caaamilleeee 0
men can get a vasectomy, it's not souly up to the girl. sure, a girl can choose to use the different forms of birth control out there, but there are tons of men who prefer not to use condoms. and then there are tons of girls out there who don't want to or don't have the guts to say they wish they'd use one. you have no idea how this girl got pregnant, so the reasons your stating these facts is beyond me. and why do you care about proving these things you are saying? im sorry but it sounds like you have never been laid. i could be wrong, but it really sounds like it.
alaskasfml 0
either xxguard is trolling or they really are a "know it all" douchebag.
igpyitl 0
you are a mindless douchebag. what you are saying makes no sense. stop getting your statistics from fox news and get your head out of your ass! the father of the child just abandoned the mom and kid and you are defending him?! go **** yourself you sexist cocksucker
teenagedream13 1
that sucks!