Today, I was taking a final exam and I reached into my pocket to get out a pencil. I felt this thing in my pocket so I got it out and put it on the desk. At first I thought it was a leaf but then it started kicking and trying to run around. It was a cockroach. It had been living in my pocket. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was studying for a big test I have next Tuesday in my room. I heard a creak in my ceiling but assumed it was nothing as my house is old. Thirty seconds later something fell from my air vent directly onto my head. It was a giant cockroach. FML
Today, I was playing my guitar and felt something like an itch under my foot, so I attempted to scratch it by rubbing against the floor. The big cockroach made a very distinct "crunch". FML
Today, while packing my luggage from vacation I thought I saw a penny drop into my bag. After looking everywhere I couldn't find it. Now that I am home I found out that I had mistaken a cockroach for a penny. I now have a family of cockroaches living in my luggage. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to go pee. While in the bathroom, I felt something move inside my shirt but just ignored it, thinking it was my shirt brushing on something. Something moved again. I ripped my shirt off to reveal a massive cockroach inside my shirt. FML
Today, I walked out the back door of my place of employment and looked down to see a huge cockroach. This is quite a normal occurrence, so I thought nothing of it until I realized it was struggling to drag the corpse of one of its friends into the building. FML
Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML
Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML
Today, I bought a Santa hat. After wearing the hat for a few hours, I noticed a strange lump near the tip of it. I stuck my hand inside to dig out the mysterious object. It was a dead cockroach. FML
Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML
Today, I went to put my coat on to go out. I put my hand in my pocket, not knowing there was a mouse sleeping in there. I squeezed it, it bit me and ran off. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
bnwranbo 2
dude.... i was in the middle of eating breakfast...
djizzle 0
oh shit holy shit i would've thrown up all over the desk fyl ew.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (116)
alexismile4u 0
omg that sucks i understand how u feel though cus one night in my house i found cockroach and i killed it but i just left it there cus i didnt wanna pick it up so when i finally came back it wasnt in the same spot instead it was crawling on my foot, i screamed very loud and kicked it off, but eventually i did kill it properly lol
boo_betch_boo 0
Ew that's incredibly gross! Where do you shop, a garbage bin? I mean seriously clean your clothing, that is so disgusting!
hellokittywhore 0
OMG!!! i Know exactly how you feel shitt like that would happen to me all the Time, but people saw them:(
mama2b3 20
ew u nasty wash ur clothes!
The1gamer 14
awww your first friend good for you =D
xNephilim 19
That's so nasty... Ugh... I'd cry. Or at least scream. FYL, OP, FYL.
Hersheys002 0
Eww that's gross
ElricMustang 23
I would've died if that happened to me
mogeeker 1
I would die!!!
redhedsaysrawr 18
Something similar happened to me in the 3rd grade... I went to school one day and felt something in my shoe, so i took it off to get it out. Out crawled a giant roach that ran off and I had to kill it with the shoe in my hand. The bad part about mine was there was a kid watching who started screaming "THERE WAS A ROACH IN HER SHOE! GROSS!" and caused everyone in the room to stare. The teacher was nice to me about it though at least.