Today, I was taking a final exam and I reached into my pocket to get out a pencil. I felt this thing in my pocket so I got it out and put it on the desk. At first I thought it was a leaf but then it started kicking and trying to run around. It was a cockroach. It had been living in my pocket. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was studying for a big test I have next Tuesday in my room. I heard a creak in my ceiling but assumed it was nothing as my house is old. Thirty seconds later something fell from my air vent directly onto my head. It was a giant cockroach. FML
Today, I was playing my guitar and felt something like an itch under my foot, so I attempted to scratch it by rubbing against the floor. The big cockroach made a very distinct "crunch". FML
Today, while packing my luggage from vacation I thought I saw a penny drop into my bag. After looking everywhere I couldn't find it. Now that I am home I found out that I had mistaken a cockroach for a penny. I now have a family of cockroaches living in my luggage. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to go pee. While in the bathroom, I felt something move inside my shirt but just ignored it, thinking it was my shirt brushing on something. Something moved again. I ripped my shirt off to reveal a massive cockroach inside my shirt. FML
Today, I walked out the back door of my place of employment and looked down to see a huge cockroach. This is quite a normal occurrence, so I thought nothing of it until I realized it was struggling to drag the corpse of one of its friends into the building. FML
Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML
Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML
Today, I bought a Santa hat. After wearing the hat for a few hours, I noticed a strange lump near the tip of it. I stuck my hand inside to dig out the mysterious object. It was a dead cockroach. FML
Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML
Today, I went to put my coat on to go out. I put my hand in my pocket, not knowing there was a mouse sleeping in there. I squeezed it, it bit me and ran off. FML
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Top comments
bnwranbo 2
dude.... i was in the middle of eating breakfast...
djizzle 0
oh shit holy shit i would've thrown up all over the desk fyl ew.
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Comments (116)
thegoodlifeNOT 0
eww dirty
lazorzpewpew 0
Awww cute - you had a little fwend! :D
Kalofinator 0
Oh gosh, one time I just saw one in the computer lab at my university - and I couldn't focus in class for the next 15 minutes. They're so nasty! I might have actually died if this happened to me.
Vasir 2
What'd it taste like?
Shortaay_xx 0
Eww..thats nastyy lmao
Pinkyr 0
Do you ever wash that?
trickydix2000 0
NASTY but funny ass hell LOL
Lotsahats 0
you are gross. you probaly smell bad if you have bugs living in your clothes. you probally dont wear deoderant either do you? and you might be ugly
Art_Vandeley 0
Haha that`s funny. You could`ve kept it as a pet.
Georgia795 0
ahah i thought it would of been funnier if you took your cell out instead, cos then your test would of been canceled >.<