Today, I was taking a final exam and I reached into my pocket to get out a pencil. I felt this thing in my pocket so I got it out and put it on the desk. At first I thought it was a leaf but then it started kicking and trying to run around. It was a cockroach. It had been living in my pocket. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was studying for a big test I have next Tuesday in my room. I heard a creak in my ceiling but assumed it was nothing as my house is old. Thirty seconds later something fell from my air vent directly onto my head. It was a giant cockroach. FML
Today, I was playing my guitar and felt something like an itch under my foot, so I attempted to scratch it by rubbing against the floor. The big cockroach made a very distinct "crunch". FML
Today, while packing my luggage from vacation I thought I saw a penny drop into my bag. After looking everywhere I couldn't find it. Now that I am home I found out that I had mistaken a cockroach for a penny. I now have a family of cockroaches living in my luggage. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to go pee. While in the bathroom, I felt something move inside my shirt but just ignored it, thinking it was my shirt brushing on something. Something moved again. I ripped my shirt off to reveal a massive cockroach inside my shirt. FML
Today, I walked out the back door of my place of employment and looked down to see a huge cockroach. This is quite a normal occurrence, so I thought nothing of it until I realized it was struggling to drag the corpse of one of its friends into the building. FML
Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML
Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML
Today, I bought a Santa hat. After wearing the hat for a few hours, I noticed a strange lump near the tip of it. I stuck my hand inside to dig out the mysterious object. It was a dead cockroach. FML
Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML
Today, I went to put my coat on to go out. I put my hand in my pocket, not knowing there was a mouse sleeping in there. I squeezed it, it bit me and ran off. FML
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Top comments
bnwranbo 2
dude.... i was in the middle of eating breakfast...
djizzle 0
oh shit holy shit i would've thrown up all over the desk fyl ew.
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Comments (116)
Moemoemoe_fml 0
#10 Your house has a problem. D:
birds_fml 7
Cockroaches doesn't mean the OP is a dirty person. You can keep your home completely spotless and clean, and still have the occasional cockroach. And if you live in an apartment complex, you can have an infestation if your neighbors are filthy.
Rainisamazing 0
o.m.g EWWWWW
layli_fml 0
SHUT.......UPP. OMG that's horrible.......*shudders*
fobchick 0
That is seriously ******* sick, please do yourself a favor and take a long ass bath.
urbwzrd 0
that's cool man! :)) it's like Joe's house...
Udyjay 1
#3 seriously thats ******* gross
kristidgranger 3
That is just gross. i don't think I would tell people that bc they probably think you don't bath or clean clothes.
shanyo 0
ewwwwww. wtf?! i woulda passed the **** out.
CaptainUnobvious 0
*shudder* x 10000000000