Today, I was taking a dump, when my dad shouted for me to go wash the dishes. Fed up with his constant shit, I told him to bite me. He took this as an invitation to wedge the bathroom door shut for nearly two hours, despite all my pleas and apologies. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was taking a shower, when my dad decided to turn off the water to the house, run upstairs, and throw a bucket of freezing cold sludge into the shower with me. He wouldn't turn the water back on for 2 hours. FML
Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
Today, I found my dad using my bathroom. Why? Because he "had to take a crap" and didn't want to stink up his own bathroom. FML
Today, my mom decided to infodump on me as I came home needing to take a shit. She wouldn't stop talking and calling me back when I tried to walk off. I couldn't get a word in, and she was ignoring my gestures. She's now calling me disrespectful because I finally ran off and dropped a loud one in the toilet. FML
Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom, only to find my dad sitting on the toilet, blind drunk. He screamed "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" at me. I just wanted to shave. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me using the bathroom. After rushing out, he yelled at me through the door for not locking it. He made up the "no locking the doors inside the house" rule. FML
Today, while shopping with my father, I had to use the restroom. As soon as I opened the door to the men's room, my father yelled that it was the ladies' room. I then turned around and went through the other door, where I ended up getting bitch-slapped. FML
Today, my dad called me into the bathroom, saying, "Get a load of this shit, son" and forcing me to look at the biggest, foulest-smelling turd I have ever seen in my life in the toilet. It's been three hours and I still feel physically ill. FML
Today, my dad screamed at me, called me a monster, told me he wanted me to move out, and that I better start looking for an apartment. Why? I slammed the microwave door. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
kut17 11
If I talked to my parents like that, I would consider getting locked in a bathroom as getting off easy.
singerlove 14
Because the dishes are SO hard to do...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (181)
ohmandapants 17
You basically implied that you talk back to your parents. The fact that they wouldn't care about the way you speak to them just strengthens my theory.
Vanilla1Thrilla 0
Consider yourself a lucky guy. If I said that to my Dad, instead of wedging the door shut, he'd probably just bust through it and smack me right off the toilet... But my Dad also turned green when he was angry.
ilovenotyou 0
You should start respecting your parents..
cetlawizard 15
No? Then you probably just have a mom & dad who aren't all that interested in being REAL parents as much as letting you have your way so they don't have to deal with you whining by properly teaching you responsibility & accountability. Sooooo sad. :(....
7SeasOfRhye 1
he shouldve locked you out the house
sparkrok 8
he should have picked up a couple really dirty plates, busted through the door, and dropped them on OP's lap
ZebulonPike 8
I personally believe that respect goes both ways when it comes to elders. But still... he was asking you to do the DISHES. That is practically the simplest thing you could be asked to do. Don't act so immature about it. If you respect him, he will respect you.
Fisahgurl 1
Lucky you. If I said that to my mom, there is no way I would still be alive to post a FML about it.. Quit talking back and just do as you're told. Makes life a lot easier.
cetlawizard 15
Those of us who actually respect our parents usually do as we're told....24 seems like a spoiled little 13yr old who has everything done for her & OP sounds like they were just being an ass-hat & posted an fml for undeserved sympathy. Btw, you're right in what you said, not sure who the tools are that would give you a thumbs down...I gave you a thumbs up! :)
KrayKrayGurl117 7
Hahaha wow I think your house during thanksgiving dinner would be fun (no joke)!
Ins0mau 20
I think his house during thanksgiving dinner would just be a normal day as he's from Australia. And we don't do thanksgiving.
KrayKrayGurl117 7
Oh right.... Didnt see that... Sorry
EvilLilCupcake 10
How dare he tell you to do chores in His house! The nerve! YDI...