Today, I was taking a dump, when my dad shouted for me to go wash the dishes. Fed up with his constant shit, I told him to bite me. He took this as an invitation to wedge the bathroom door shut for nearly two hours, despite all my pleas and apologies. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was taking a shower, when my dad decided to turn off the water to the house, run upstairs, and throw a bucket of freezing cold sludge into the shower with me. He wouldn't turn the water back on for 2 hours. FML
Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
Today, I found my dad using my bathroom. Why? Because he "had to take a crap" and didn't want to stink up his own bathroom. FML
Today, my mom decided to infodump on me as I came home needing to take a shit. She wouldn't stop talking and calling me back when I tried to walk off. I couldn't get a word in, and she was ignoring my gestures. She's now calling me disrespectful because I finally ran off and dropped a loud one in the toilet. FML
Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom, only to find my dad sitting on the toilet, blind drunk. He screamed "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" at me. I just wanted to shave. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me using the bathroom. After rushing out, he yelled at me through the door for not locking it. He made up the "no locking the doors inside the house" rule. FML
Today, while shopping with my father, I had to use the restroom. As soon as I opened the door to the men's room, my father yelled that it was the ladies' room. I then turned around and went through the other door, where I ended up getting bitch-slapped. FML
Today, my dad called me into the bathroom, saying, "Get a load of this shit, son" and forcing me to look at the biggest, foulest-smelling turd I have ever seen in my life in the toilet. It's been three hours and I still feel physically ill. FML
Today, my dad screamed at me, called me a monster, told me he wanted me to move out, and that I better start looking for an apartment. Why? I slammed the microwave door. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
kut17 11
If I talked to my parents like that, I would consider getting locked in a bathroom as getting off easy.
singerlove 14
Because the dishes are SO hard to do...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (181)
mrp4nda 2
OP probably carries the policy of "each person does his own work", in which case this FML is perfectly valid if it was his dad's mess. I love how this site is just waiting to kill people's self esteem.
yaoifreak 8
Never mess with daddy
crashley21 10
Why wouldn't you just say you were taking a dump? It that's the truth then he would let it go til he knew you were finished and out of the bathroom.
jessica53139 10
Lucky I get locked in there for 6 hours
obri98 10
Pussy! Just escape out the window!
freeze101mam 5
If I would have talked to my parents like that I would have gotten my Azz kicked, then still would have had to do the dishes.. JS
Philosofist415 3
I'm afraid HE was fed up with YOUR constant shit ;)
derpies 12
Don't act with power when you don't have said power
RedneckAngel 11
Well, at least he didn't ground you...mine would have.
lilnibblit 0
I find this fml interesting because in canada at least all doors open inward to prevent getting trapped in the room so there is no way that i can think of that his dad could have wedged the door shut