Today, I found my dad using my bathroom. Why? Because he "had to take a crap" and didn't want to stink up his own bathroom. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went into the bathroom only to discover my dad on the pot. “Oh, sorry”, I say and turn to leave. His reply, “Oh I don’t mind. Just having a shit here.” FML
Today, I discovered that every morning at around 3:00 my dad takes a monumental dump in my bathroom. When I confronted him about it he denied it. He still does it. FML
Today, my father-in-law shat himself in my bathroom and tried to flush some of the evidence down my sink. Sink that I'd just cleaned up. FML
Today, I was taking a dump, when my dad shouted for me to go wash the dishes. Fed up with his constant shit, I told him to bite me. He took this as an invitation to wedge the bathroom door shut for nearly two hours, despite all my pleas and apologies. FML
Today, I went up to take a shower. I typically go to the bathroom first, I take a mega dump, then flush the toilet. Not only wouldn't the toilet flush but I found out my parents only keep one plunger on hand. It was in the downstairs bathroom. My dad came upstairs and plunged the toilet while I stood there naked. FML
Today, I walked into my bathroom, only to find my dad passed out on the floor with his pants around his ankles. FML
Today, my dad came to visit me. By visit I mean he arrived, took a huge smelly dump and left. This is the first time I've seen my dad in months. FML
Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, I needed to use the bathroom. I decided to be a good girlfriend and leave the seat up for him. He later yelled at me for not putting the seat down because he needed to take a dump. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
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Top comments
cessily 8
I happen to be taking a crap right now
captainbj2 0
who pays for the bathroom? I think it is HIS bathroom....
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Comments (242)
cessily 8
I happen to be taking a crap right now
A7X_LoVeee 10
Girls don't poop.
alexg823 0
What kind?
TheWonderchick 0
her dad wasn't a girl...
musiclexii124 0
3.49 is all it cost for a bottle of febreeze.
A7X_LoVeee 10
19 I was referring to 2's comment. Before 2 put a picture of a car up, there was a picture of herself.
gertyygirly 4
stay out of OP's bathroom or you'll get an fml written about you...
pertained 12
what the hell, now chicks complain about people using their toilets?
RetardedBullFrog 4
Sounds like an overused joke.
RetardedBullFrog 4
I meant that for 34
oboewhore_xD 6
22, I think it's still pretty obvious that 1 is a girl. What man would drive a yellow Miata with a personalized license plate that said "Lesbian"?
DKjazz 20
Poop app, 25? You mean the app you choose to use as you lose your poos? I guess mine is Angry Birds because you can play one-handed and wipe with the other. Also, when the white bird drops it's bomb, it's very encouraging.
NStarB 13
1 - then we are two my friend
memphius 4
damn, so am I.
KingGeorgeGal 12
The smell will wear off soon, no big deal.
KingGeorgeGal 12
The smell will wear off soon, no big deal.
KingGeorgeGal 12
15. Girls DO shit!
ILOLatmockdaweek 0
15- yes we do
A7X_LoVeee 10
103/104 do the world a favor and google sarcasm. Thanks.
angelpies 0
Well toilets ARE meant to be shat in..
baddud300 6
mine is Fml too! :D
Sebastian_NG 17
My dad does that all the time
bellakaykid 6
Same here, no kidding.
shannonreneee 11
I don't know what these girls are talking about. We dint poo or urinate, those fluids simply seep out of our pores making us smell like a bed of roses.
iChel413 6
Me too. lol.
EatnBeef 7
kinggeorgegal, you have had the most thumbs downed comments I have ever seen. I hereby present the biggest failure in FML award to you. enjoy. yes that was a douchebagass thing to say so bring on the thumbs down:)
Civilianswilldie 0
I gave you a thumbs up beef:)
powderpuffjord13 0
girls are the same as guys.. we are all human :/
herrobear 0
Who's bathroom now? You paid for it did you?
maddie2015 0
umm whats the big deal about this... it's only natural so stop complaining about girls not ********. it's human.
GuitarFail123 9
haha nice 15
lindsaymiedema 4
my dad does that to me all the time!!
FC_Barcelona 0
152, No
zojieeu 6
yeah and girls do fart too :/
gabrielmorales 0
Story of my life
grovervac3000 15
haha me too ;)
OfficialxAmber 0
that sucks. :/
xxsarahfxx 6
spray some febreeze on that shit.
saga_darlin 0
your hand is a dolphin jheeze
danishbagel 3
I would rather spray the Febreeze in and around the bathroom, not directly on the shit. But either one works.
RetardedBullFrog 4
DIE SHIT!! *sprays febreeze point blank* but seriously, a stinky bathroom is pretty usefull especially if your a frog. it attracts flies and I eat flies.
zukinihudini 0
ydi for having your own bathroom sorry but you sound like a rich bastard
imthatguythatdid 0
OP go to his bathroom and stink up his and say " u were using my bathroom and besides i DIDNT WANT TO STINK UP MY BATHROOM." *snap snap snap*
FeedMonkeyking 4
Who the hell doesn't have a bathroom?
uncleyuggles 0
febreeze only coats the surface, like frosting a turd. get some heavy duty shit out on that
englishhottiexx 0
My dad did that to me too. It sucks.
ArielTheMermaid 17
like you've never stunk up a bathroom
MrSassypants 34
Yeah but OP still doesn't want his ******* bathroom to stink. Who want to go in a bathroom, take a deep breath and say "what a lovely scent of shit?"
CateXOX 0
That would be a great new line of perfume, with scents such as "Eau de Shit" and "Rotting Flesh Parfum".
brah89 0
Eau de merde sounds more sexy. vous ne parle français, vrai? haha
ArielTheMermaid 17
h can by some febreeze all will be fine
captainbj2 0
who pays for the bathroom? I think it is HIS bathroom....
Sesh54 7
well maybe OP moved out of their parents house and he was at her house using her bathroom
shamille 5
I know, right? OP has her own bathroom but she's still complaining...
00SPRANGER00 0
damn right!
Mach10 0
Yeah, that sounds way more likely than another spoiled self entitled brat whining about how hard their life is on FML. Newsflash, OP, until you pay rent or mortgage, it's not yours.
primadonna9396 16
I read it as the OP came home to her own apartment, and her dad (presumably keeper of the spare key) had broke in to take a shit. Weird, I usually assume the worst of the OP right off.
comepoopwithme 0
well you wouldnt want to stink up a place you spend hours in either, would you?
Dr_Jalepenos 0
well,duh!!! everyone knows that their personal bathtoom is for masturbating,silly.
ksib 0
haha sounds like my kind of guy
ammmeor 4
that stinks.
jillianmathers12 13
your photo is weird
saga_darlin 0
it looks like someone givin birth whats wrong wit u???
ammmeor 4
seriously? it's just a cat what's wrong with you?
saga_darlin 0
stfu bith
Das_Judenburg 0
That thing is ******* disgusting.
saga_darlin 0
thank you!!!
Das_Judenburg 0
Should give it a nice lethal injection of boot to the head
m00sh 0
? I think its cute.
saga_darlin 0
cute?!? its ******* butt ugly
iSurf_fml 8
Okay....I know you guys did NOT just gang up on a cat.
HouseKeeping 0
reading the irrelevant replies to your picture honestly annnoyed the hell out of me, some people are just assholes.
saga_darlin 0
nobody told you to read it soo shut the **** up
Kayokku 1
Don't be dissing that cat, it's called a sphinx. They're odd-looking, but still cute. They get cold easily since they don't have much fur and they're adorable in little kitty sweaters :3
Kayokku 1
Um. it appears that all of the comments talking about how ugly ammmeor's profile pic is just disappeared. If it's only appearing that way on my end, ignore this post. o_x
saIty 17
Hey a bathroom is one of the many things important to a man.
enonymous 9
God I hope he went upper decker.