Today, I was taking a dump, when my dad shouted for me to go wash the dishes. Fed up with his constant shit, I told him to bite me. He took this as an invitation to wedge the bathroom door shut for nearly two hours, despite all my pleas and apologies. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was taking a shower, when my dad decided to turn off the water to the house, run upstairs, and throw a bucket of freezing cold sludge into the shower with me. He wouldn't turn the water back on for 2 hours. FML
Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
Today, I found my dad using my bathroom. Why? Because he "had to take a crap" and didn't want to stink up his own bathroom. FML
Today, my mom decided to infodump on me as I came home needing to take a shit. She wouldn't stop talking and calling me back when I tried to walk off. I couldn't get a word in, and she was ignoring my gestures. She's now calling me disrespectful because I finally ran off and dropped a loud one in the toilet. FML
Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom, only to find my dad sitting on the toilet, blind drunk. He screamed "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" at me. I just wanted to shave. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me using the bathroom. After rushing out, he yelled at me through the door for not locking it. He made up the "no locking the doors inside the house" rule. FML
Today, while shopping with my father, I had to use the restroom. As soon as I opened the door to the men's room, my father yelled that it was the ladies' room. I then turned around and went through the other door, where I ended up getting bitch-slapped. FML
Today, my dad called me into the bathroom, saying, "Get a load of this shit, son" and forcing me to look at the biggest, foulest-smelling turd I have ever seen in my life in the toilet. It's been three hours and I still feel physically ill. FML
Today, my dad screamed at me, called me a monster, told me he wanted me to move out, and that I better start looking for an apartment. Why? I slammed the microwave door. FML
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Top comments
kut17 11
If I talked to my parents like that, I would consider getting locked in a bathroom as getting off easy.
singerlove 14
Because the dishes are SO hard to do...
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Comments (181)
Taymah49 7
Bet you won't do that ever again.
gonad_gobbler 1
You're fed up with his shit? It seems as though you're father is fed up with your ********, as well as your lack of dish-washing op.
ProhibitionRose 14
Good lord, children talk back way too much these days! You completely deserve it! All he did was ask you to take what? 15 minutes (tops) out of your busy day to do the dishes! Hopefully this will teach you to respect your elders.
rodgersfan 6
**** that. I go to school full time and work 35 hours a week when my mom is a stay at home mom. And I have mixed martial arts classes. I still have to take the 15 minutes out of my day in order to do the dishes and I hate every minute.
marpay 11
Just because your mom is a sahm doesn't mean she's your slave. You live there you pull your own weight. Someday you will move out and realize everything she does & has done for you and be grateful all you had to do was dishes.
ProhibitionRose 14
18- do you but your own food? Pay the rent/mortgage? Pay the water or electric bill? What do you contribute besides bitching and moaning and doing the dishes? When I was in high school I helped out around the house, worked long hours AND I gave my parents half of every pay check I earned. Because families help each other. Let's not forget they brought me into this world and made sure I always had food to eat, a safe home and they loved me. Kids are ******* ungrateful these days and think people owe them what they are given.
Tyger44 1
Yes,do u pay rent!?or bills!?
rodgersfan 6
Actually I do so don't thumb down my comment if you dont know my life. I pay for all of my food. 100 bucks a month for rent. 130 bucks a month for insurance. I pay for my mma classes. 100 bucks a month.
CursedSilent 1
You're not really expecting sympathy are you? Try living on your own then complain about how little your parents are asking of you. Until you're a grown up living on your own versus a child using your parents as a crutch, you really have no idea what the cost of living is or how much your parents actually do for you.
rodgersfan 6
I'm not expecting sympathy at all actually. I just want people to see what I actually do before they all thumb down my comments and talk shit about it.
ImaginaryFoe 1
Bottom line is if you live in the house and eat off the dishes, unless you use your paycheck to pay a maid, you shouldn't bitch if asked to do the dishes.
PYLrulz 17
18 - Sounds like you need your ass kicked by your parents.
AngelSpit 18
Ok so 100 bucks a month for rent, how much are your parents paying? What about water electricity the phone TV and Internet gas heating AC theres a lot more to life than paying rent. My step daughter tried to pull the "i dont have to do shit" with me and ended up spending a weekend either fending for herself or paying me to use what wasnt hers ( I was at least nice enough to not make her pay me to wear her clothes even though I bought them :P)
guynamedsky 15
takes me an hour but yeah pretty shitty of the kid
marpay 11
His roof his rules. Now stfu and go do the dishes.
studdmuffin1990 7
What's with the provocative picture of a naked woman?
Zaros_fml 24
If your previous comment on this fml is any indication then that is obviously a picture of her.
alvarny 17
That was a minor punishment for challenging the alpha male.
McNerdyNerd 8
Yeah....I might be assuming here, but I think the real fml is for your dad. Imagine all the shit he has to put up from you, when you're too much of an incompetent, spoilt brat to just do the dishes. Geez. Learn some respect.
sqeakyclean 7
Spoilt?
perdix 31
YDI for asking your dad for a blumpkin!
Davick 0
as the old saying goes don't get mad get even. what you got to do is up to you
Red_Wing_Nut44 14
I'm pretty sure that saying is irrelevant when facing a father and/or any other figure of power.
Blacksabbath211 9
I really want to know if this is just a spoiled brat post or if OP actually does get shit from his dad... (I don't assume with situations like this because I have a buddy who gets saddled with more chores than the rest of his family nearly combined, as sadly enough I'm not exaggerating)
ohmandapants 17
Whoa, you must be a brat.