Today, I was sunbathing by my pool, totally naked. After a while I got a boner and decided to jerk off. As I was about to finish, I rolled over to cum on the deck, but when I rolled back, my elderly neighbor yelled, "Don't do that in the open if you won’t give up the money shot." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I thought I'd take advantage of the lovely weather and sunbake topless in my grandmother's back yard. My grandma went up the street to do some shopping and didn’t tell me that men were coming to mow the lawn. I was laying on my back. FML
Today, I put on some goggles on in the pool, only to go underwater and see an old man "discreetly" jerking it. FML
Today, I went to my local pool. I lay down in a chair and started tanning. About 30 minutes later, a lady came up to me and said, "Put that away, you pervert, there are children here!" I had a hole in my pants and my penis had started to poke through. FML
Today, I got naked in front of a girl for the first time. Too bad it happened when my "friends" pulled down my swimsuit at a party. Everyone saw my penis. I got a boner. FML
Today, I caught my elderly neighbour skinny-dipping in my pool. FML
Today, I decided to lay out topless in my fenced-in backyard. For about an hour, everything was going great until I sneezed and my creepy, middle-aged neighbor said "bless you". From my bushes. FML
Today, I woke up and stumbled over to my window to soak up some morning sunshine. The sunshine was lovely; the sight of my elderly neighbour doing some kind of nude yoga in his backyard certainly was not. FML
Today, it was just too hot. I stripped down and, being home alone, pranced around nude, lip synching and playing air guitar to some music. I was getting really into when I opened my eyes and looked out the window to see an old man with binoculars on his terrace. He wasn't birdwatching. FML
Today, I discovered my elderly neighbour likes to roam around his yard naked and wash his balls with the sprinkler. I'm never going to grab a snack in my kitchen again. FML
Today, while enjoying the nice weather in a park, I opened my eyes to the sight of some guy jacking off, half-hidden behind a tree. FML
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Top comments
NostalgiaFreak9 43
********** IN your house dude.
Eddie3 7
Who the hell just beats off in broad daylight?
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Comments (26)
Justine Malang 16
That's disgusting. You ******* deserve it loser.
peithecelt 28
Dude, unless you live in a super secluded spot, you don't do anything outside naked if you don't want to be seen. Particularly sexual things!! YDI.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Do you have a privacy fence? If so, well, that's a little creepy, but you probably still shouldn't have done it in public, even if there's a fence. But if you don't have a fence, YDI totally.
Mungolikecandy 19
I really hope it was not a shared pool at an apartment complex!
AzrielB 8
Did you give them the money shot though?
DanielleinDC 34
Next time go inside the house to wank. YDI.
sadCowboysfan 20
No one wants to see you play with yourself. Maybe you’ll remember this next time you want to jack off outside. Also, the neighbor is hilarious!
devi_916 39
I'm SO glad that I'm not your neighbor. I'm also glad your neighbor wasn't a child. Go inside to do that, or at least make damn sure no one can see you.
PenguinPal3017 19
I don't know how this could have turned out poorly for you, you made all the right decisions. I guess these things are sometimes just out of your control.
tounces7 28
Okay I'm strongly questioning this one. If you have an above ground pool, those generally have sides around them, so nobody could see, not to mention you'd be up higher. If you have an in-ground pool, usually you can afford a damn privacy fence, too.