Today, I was sunbathing by my pool, totally naked. After a while I got a boner and decided to jerk off. As I was about to finish, I rolled over to cum on the deck, but when I rolled back, my elderly neighbor yelled, "Don't do that in the open if you won’t give up the money shot." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I thought I'd take advantage of the lovely weather and sunbake topless in my grandmother's back yard. My grandma went up the street to do some shopping and didn’t tell me that men were coming to mow the lawn. I was laying on my back. FML
Today, I put on some goggles on in the pool, only to go underwater and see an old man "discreetly" jerking it. FML
Today, I went to my local pool. I lay down in a chair and started tanning. About 30 minutes later, a lady came up to me and said, "Put that away, you pervert, there are children here!" I had a hole in my pants and my penis had started to poke through. FML
Today, I got naked in front of a girl for the first time. Too bad it happened when my "friends" pulled down my swimsuit at a party. Everyone saw my penis. I got a boner. FML
Today, I caught my elderly neighbour skinny-dipping in my pool. FML
Today, I decided to lay out topless in my fenced-in backyard. For about an hour, everything was going great until I sneezed and my creepy, middle-aged neighbor said "bless you". From my bushes. FML
Today, I woke up and stumbled over to my window to soak up some morning sunshine. The sunshine was lovely; the sight of my elderly neighbour doing some kind of nude yoga in his backyard certainly was not. FML
Today, it was just too hot. I stripped down and, being home alone, pranced around nude, lip synching and playing air guitar to some music. I was getting really into when I opened my eyes and looked out the window to see an old man with binoculars on his terrace. He wasn't birdwatching. FML
Today, I discovered my elderly neighbour likes to roam around his yard naked and wash his balls with the sprinkler. I'm never going to grab a snack in my kitchen again. FML
Today, while enjoying the nice weather in a park, I opened my eyes to the sight of some guy jacking off, half-hidden behind a tree. FML
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Top comments
NostalgiaFreak9 43
********** IN your house dude.
Eddie3 7
Who the hell just beats off in broad daylight?
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Comments (26)
BurnInDemonFire 39
At least you weren't doing it in the middle of a wedding photo shoot.
Eddie3 7
Who the hell just beats off in broad daylight?
ezrajab 22
That’s what I was thinking!
Lalala579121 28
OP does.
NostalgiaFreak9 43
********** IN your house dude.
real life problems 26
This has YDI written all over it from start to finish.
Magtec 11
I see what you did there.
real life problems 26
It came in harder than usual, but the pun is there.
real life problems 26
It came in harder than usual but the pun is there.
Shabnam Moghal 14
You saw what OP did? Ohhh
Dave_Davington 34
You should listen to your elders. It is common courtesy, after all.
CalB22 6
Imagine how painful it would have been if you got a sunburn
Charlie Given 28
🤣🤣🤣I think grandma next door wanted a Pearl necklace stud muffin 😂😂😂😂
Magtec 11
you sure it wasn't grandpa?
RichardPencil 32
Make sure you edge a bit because old guys take longer to cum. Don’t short-change him with your show!
Davros 12
get your neighbor a tshirt that says Moneyshot.
geekynerd88 10
Bro, if you jack off in public not only is that illegal, but you may have some type of addiction!
RichardPencil 32
He said he was at HIS pool, so he didn’t jack off in public. Since he didn’t ensure that neighbors couldn’t watch him makes him a perverted exhibitionist.