Today, I went to a new bar with friends. After arriving I became extremely gassy, so I planned a smooth release during the loud music. Little did I know, the bar occasionally dips its music to hear the guests singing. When the music turned off, all eyes turned to me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was sitting next to the guy I am trying to get close to while we were at the bar. Music was playing, so I thought that while his attention was diverted I would sneak out a yawn. Just as I did so, the music went silent and I let out a tremendous burp. FML
Today, I went to a very crowded restaurant. Being really shy, I requested to sit in the corner, but instead they placed me in the center of the dinning area. I started to eat my food and got really spaced out. Suddenly I sneeze-farted and everyone turned to look at me. FML
Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance I had to fart really bad, so I decided to try and sneak it in while the orchestra was playing a loud exciting part. Just as I let it rip, there was a dramatic pause in the music. Everyone heard. FML
Today, I was at a friend's birthday party in a packed karaoke bar/restaurant and I drunkenly agreed to sing. I picked a song I thought I knew by heart, only to realize halfway through that the lyrics on the screen were not at all what I thought they were. My brain went for a smoke break or something, and I turned into a rambling mess. The crowd actually booed. FML
Today, I got together with a small gathering of friends in a bar. I go up to the bar to order something, but with all the music and noise, the barman can't hear what I'm trying to say, so he leans forward, cocking his ear towards me. For some reason, I thought he was being friendly so I kissed him as if we were saying hello to each other. FML
Today, while walking down the aisle of a movie theatre, I passed gas so loudly that the audience missed the climax of the film laughing at me. FML
Today, I farted at a crowded concert, and people started commenting on said fart. I specifically went out of my way to eat certain foods all day so that it wouldn't happen. FML
Today, while waiting for class, I let out a huge fart in front of everyone thinking no one would hear it over the music. I was wearing headphones. FML
Today, while working at my desk alone and with my headphones in, I suddenly let loose a loud stream of gas. As I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, I saw, in the reflection of my laptop, that my roommate had been sitting silently on the couch right behind me. FML
Today, I fell asleep at a party. I farted so loud that I woke myself up. Everyone heard. FML
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Top comments
xblaine 17
Trumpet solo!
LissaMccracken 23
Woah. Did they all applaud you? ;)
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Comments (83)
LissaMccracken 23
Woah. Did they all applaud you? ;)
andrew6p 19
No they covered their noses!
RedPillSucks 33
That's the sign of applause, in some countries.
hessel 13
this is fake. i read this on 9gag earlier. this fml doesnt count
hessel 13
the fml is fake. i read it earlier on 9 gag
Lolthatsuxbroski 7
Hope you sang good :)
xblaine 17
Trumpet solo!
iAlissa 34
More like a tuba:D
my_name_is_earl 9
And that's when you start singing and brush it off
nyrangersfan9 13
C'mon, why wouldn't you just go to the bathroom?
saIty 17
Public bathrooms man. Some folks even try to strike up convo while dropping a bomb.
Iknoweverything 29
Or go outside for petes sake! Stand downwind from others, no one would know! You would think people would LEARN from this site, with how many bad farting stories are on here...
rhysfucker 24
Or walk and poot...call it "crop dusting."
nyrangersfan9 13
That was very... personal. Thank you for opening up to us?
doodlecloud 27
Farting over 80 times an hour in a club (which are often hot and crowded)? I think maybe just stay at home and try again another night...
chowE_fml 4
Poor timing. The good thing is you were the center of attention. Everyone in the bar recognizes you, so Just keep telling yourself that there is no such thing as bad publicity. The only easy to get over embarrassing moments is to own up to them.
LivexForever21 18
I can't even describe how much I laughed at this!
Fuhkyoo 17
ill give you a few suggestions. "a lot" "so much" "my ass/head off" hope that helps!
Doodleoodlebug 18
this reminds me of that Eminem song
Nasir_Jones 12
Just Lose It
CocaColaPepsi 13
That's still gross even if nobody heard it I'm sure there was a bathroom not far from your reach, maybe I'm one of the few but I think you deserve it
Benzypoop 6
Agreed. Or even step outside or something. No one wants to smell someone's horrendous farts in a packed bar.
Fuhkyoo 17
50- I doubt that even matters, since alot of nightclub/bars are full of people with questionable hygiene standards, in my experience they usually smell like piss.
JFloUnknown 24
Quick blame the dog!